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Newest Member: Schattenfell (61077)

User Topic: Misdemeanor Issues
♀ 31961
Member # 31961
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Three years ago my FWH was arrested for inappropriate behavior with a female coworker. He was brought up on charges by her and he was arrested. He was given 2 years probation and had to attend weekly therapy. He told me that she made up the whole thing but during a required lie detector test for his therapy it came out that he had cheated on me for years.

We have been working on reconciling and life has actually been good for the past year. He finished his probation in January and we are really working on our marriage and family.

He would love to get his record expunged but the more I research it the less likely it seems that he could do it since he was arrested on a sex offense.

Does anyone have a similar situation, or advice, or a kind word?
Thank you,

Me 46
Him 49
Married 18years
2 children 14,9
Dday 4-21-11
Survived Dday and Antiversary. Now looking forward to moving forward.

Posts: 77 | Registered: Apr 2011
♀ 34755
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband was not arrested, but he was fired last summer for sexual harassment.

He was the general manager of a restaurant. ALL of his affairs were with employees of his. One was an assistant manager, the other three were servers.

Then, there was a cashier he was "grooming" for lack of a better word. An "intended" next AP in HIS mind, but clearly not in HER mind. He patted her knee a couple times in his office. He rubbed her shoulders once and another time he hugged her when she was having a bad day. This was initiated by HIM. She was very uncomfortable and went to an assistant manager about it, who in turn helped her call HR. There was an investigation and all of it happened in my husband's office where there are cameras. It was in fact all on camera. He was fired immediately because she told his boss who did the investigation she was worried that there would be retaliation if he stayed.

My husband *TRIED* to lie to me, but at that point I knew about one affair already. I did NOT believe him. But oh how he tried. I told him I was going to contact his boss and he came clean within a few days.

I *NEVER* blamed the cashier for turning him in, ever. She was a victim. I actually am grateful she turned him in because it forced him to hit bottom. Yes, it sucked him being fired, no unemployment, no job for 4 months. But he needed to actually FEEL the consequences of his actions. What he did was horrific.

She could have pressed charges but didn't. I would have fully backed her up had she though.

Honestly, if I were you? I would not support him trying to expunge his record. These are consequences of his actions. Expunging his record is like a slap in the face to his victim. You're essentially at that point placing blame at her for filing charges, which was well within her rights. I would NEVER support my husband trying to get out of what he did to the young woman he victimized. EVER.

BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ 36976
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 1:24 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2cold, I don't know what state you're from but here (CA) expungement is part of every misdemeanor. As long as the term of probation has been served and all obligations fulfilled you can go the the courthouse where the plea was entered and fill out a form for expungement and it is automatic. Good luck with this!

Posts: 870 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 3

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