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The Decree

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hopeandchange posted 8/31/2013 16:29 PM

Stbxww sent me her lawyer' draft divorce decree by mistake - it was supposed to be the initial filing paperwork

Fine, I told stbxww that I had some items where I needed legal counsel when she realized she sent the wrong do incumbent, she immediately told me it was a mistake

I am trying to be fair, ensuring she has an attorney and advice but this mistake gaveled the same sense of secrecy from her LTA and it has me on edge. Argh!


Jrazz posted 8/31/2013 22:39 PM

I have zero experience with this, but I would personally sock away any additional information that came my way from another lawyer. The only reason she needs an atty's advice is to protect herself from YOU, right? So you can do the right thing and ask for what's fair at that point. I wouldn't help much past that, I think.

I'm sorry that the discovery of information is a trigger. This is hard all the way around, huh?


nowiknow23 posted 9/1/2013 14:11 PM

I am trying to be fair, ensuring she has an attorney and advice
Gently, it's HER job to watch out for her own interests. Your job is to watch out for yours. (((h&c)))

Heal&Deal posted 9/1/2013 16:11 PM

My XH was so caught up in his own nonsense, he did not secure adequate representation. Worked out great. DS's interests were front and center, and ultimately I got everything I asked for.

My job is to protect DS and myself. For me that includes being fair, so that someday I can answer DS's questions honestly and openly. However, it does not include thinking for or protecting XH, which more often than not, is at odds with protecting DS and my emotional and financial wellbeing.

I would encourage you to step away from sheltering/protecting your STBXWW. Your needs are important. Focus your energy there.

hopeandchange posted 9/2/2013 19:53 PM

heal&deal.. your advice hit the spot. Thanks! I will start focusing on protecting myself as I already had focused on protecting my kids.


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