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Did I stop it in time?

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hlmhlmn posted 8/31/2013 19:38 PM

[This message edited by hlmhlmn at 10:50 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]

floridaredman posted 8/31/2013 19:50 PM

Do you want an honest marriage?

hlmhlmn posted 8/31/2013 20:04 PM

[This message edited by hlmhlmn at 10:51 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]

floridaredman posted 8/31/2013 21:18 PM

But your trust issues do not entitle you to betray his trust. Furthermore it seems unfair for you to be aware of his transgressions while you are guilty of the same.
Just because you stopped it does not take away from the fact that you still betrayed him. He deserves to know

[This message edited by floridaredman at 9:19 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]

hlmhlmn posted 8/31/2013 22:01 PM

[This message edited by hlmhlmn at 10:51 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]

authenticnow posted 9/1/2013 07:08 AM

hlmhlmn,

You have a PM.

hlmhlmn posted 9/2/2013 11:48 AM

My appologies to Floridaredman. I paniked. I told bh about my actions. Thank you for your advice.

floridaredman posted 9/2/2013 12:57 PM

Apology? None needed. Good for you for telling your bh. I wish you both much success.
How did he take it?

hlmhlmn posted 9/3/2013 09:59 AM

He felt it was wrong what I did but also felt I didn't have an affair because I wasn't physical with anyone. He then blamed himself saying that if he made me happy I wouldn't have done that. I am perfect, that he failed once (his previous marriage where she had multiple affairs) and he won't again.

This lead to more talk about how he does this self blame in our relationship and then the issue never gets resolved. Also how i was my responsible for my own actions.

In some ways this is more difficult because he is not angry with me. I feel like I got off on a technicality but then I catch a look in his eye that shows me that I what I did hurt him.

He basically wants to draw a line in our relationship and just move on forgetting it happened at all.

I hope us opening up and communicating more helps us both heal.

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