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4 days. It will be the one year antiversary of DDay in 4 days and all I want to do is clean EVERYTHING!

WTF!?! I am not a neat freak. In all honesty I couldn't care less if my kitchen table has bits of glue and glitter on it. Or that there is a fine layer of dust all over everything. Hell, that's what I have a cleaning service for. But for the last couple of days all I want to do is clean out drawers, closets, cabinets, etc...

R is going well but I can't help correlating my need to clean with the day that my fWH told me he wanted a divorce. Is my subconscious telling me something besides the fact that I am apparently a condiment hoarder?

As always thanks for reading.

Mack

Does anybody ever need 72 packets of soy sauce?

first off don't throw the soy sauce away-you never know when you might need it.

That being said, I did a BIG clean soon after Dday. I even cleaned out the clothes closet and got rid of a ton of stuff. In a way I think I was tossing out all the old junk and leaving myself a clean,fresh place to start from. I viewed starting R as a new start to a new M. (we killed the old one, the A was just the final blow to it) So the cleaning thing fits.

I completely rearranged our bedroom. Even though he never brought his AP's to our home, I just didn't want the reminder of our "old life" with our bedroom. I needed it to be different. We had an argument the evening before too, so I got my frustration out by doing it.

He came home and was completely shocked. He had no idea how I managed to move our heavy king sized bed. I recruited my two oldest children.

I clean when I'm frustrated, angry, sad, etc. It keeps my mind off of things.

I'm cleaning and tidying a lot these days, too, that are a sort of antiversary for me, too. I'm not a neat freak, too.I'm glad of this because for a long time after DDs I almost hated our house and what it meant. Now I care for it again and cleaning is a sort of 'reowning' it, of putting my mark on it.I see it in this period as an extension of myself.Then I'll buy something new that I like for the house. I see the end of this process as the start of a new period. Ah, I'm also going to cut and dye my hair and buy some new clothes!

I tend to stockpile the fancy mustard packets from white castle. cant eat my sliders without them!!

I get where you are coming from. i seem to be on a constant clean cycle since DDay. It comes in spurts...but when it comes, man, we are breaking out the qtips to clean in the corners and my curb looks like a bad episode of hoarders on garbage day. Maybe its therapeutic....purging the old to make room for the new. setting your mind on a project...and finishing it...big boost the the self esteem! creates a sense of purpose, accomplishment. You can stand back, look at your work and be all like, yeah, i am bad ass!!

Cleaning is extremely therapeutic for me in times of stress. It brings a sense of control and calm.

72 packets of soy sauce? I think I pitched about the same number of ketchup packets during one of my organizing fits.

WTF!?! I am not a neat freak.

It's a common reaction to stress and anxiety. Once the anxiety lessens, the compulsion should as well.

I noticed this behavior right after Dday. I vacillated between not caring about anything and cleaning like a maniac.

I think it had to do with regaining some control over something since I had no control over his choice to have the A. I gave away clothing and other stuff because I recognized how truly unimportant those things were. I gave away clothes I purchased during the A time period. I would love to get rid of a beautiful antique table we bought together during the A, but I like it too much. I also insisted that we redecorate the bedroom and we did it together (he never had the AP to our house or cottage). It all symbolized a fresh start to a new M.

Supposedly it's your subconscious way of taking control and "putting order back into the world."