I'm posting here instead of general as this is where I spend a lot of time and thought people might be able to relate more here since they have or are coming out of the other side.
I don't know what has come over me this weekend. I just feel terrible and hopeless. I am aware that I am probably depressed and have started medication (prozac). I am not sure if they have started kicking in yet, I have read that it may get worse on these before it gets better.
I went out on Friday night to a pub and then a house party which ended up turning into an all nighter with no sleep. I got home at around 11am and managed about 2 hours sleep but was pretty useless for the rest of the day. I went to bed early last night and didn't wake until about 11 this morning and I just feel so utterly depressed and hopeless. My mother's illness has a lot to do with this but also so does my ex which I hate to admit. I was doing ok with NC with him but this weekend has hit me hard and I just miss him, even though I know I shouldn't and that really I should be thankful I am rid of him. I'm just not. I can't see a way out of this and he has been on my mind a lot. I just wish he hadn't turned out the way he did. I am not sure how to deal with it. It just doesn't feel that I will ever be past this awful stage in my life. All I want to do right now is crawl into bed and sleep. I hate waking up to this every day. It doesn't feel like things will change, doesn't feel I will meet anyone else in the future, everything just seems hopeless and when anything does happen to my mother I will be alone and have no one.
I know all of us have been through complete hell here but I really see no way out and I am scared. Does anyone have any words of encouragement or hope?