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HURTAGAIN1981 posted 9/1/2013 16:14 PM

I'm posting here instead of general as this is where I spend a lot of time and thought people might be able to relate more here since they have or are coming out of the other side.

I don't know what has come over me this weekend. I just feel terrible and hopeless. I am aware that I am probably depressed and have started medication (prozac). I am not sure if they have started kicking in yet, I have read that it may get worse on these before it gets better.

I went out on Friday night to a pub and then a house party which ended up turning into an all nighter with no sleep. I got home at around 11am and managed about 2 hours sleep but was pretty useless for the rest of the day. I went to bed early last night and didn't wake until about 11 this morning and I just feel so utterly depressed and hopeless. My mother's illness has a lot to do with this but also so does my ex which I hate to admit. I was doing ok with NC with him but this weekend has hit me hard and I just miss him, even though I know I shouldn't and that really I should be thankful I am rid of him. I'm just not. I can't see a way out of this and he has been on my mind a lot. I just wish he hadn't turned out the way he did. I am not sure how to deal with it. It just doesn't feel that I will ever be past this awful stage in my life. All I want to do right now is crawl into bed and sleep. I hate waking up to this every day. It doesn't feel like things will change, doesn't feel I will meet anyone else in the future, everything just seems hopeless and when anything does happen to my mother I will be alone and have no one.

I know all of us have been through complete hell here but I really see no way out and I am scared. Does anyone have any words of encouragement or hope?

tesla posted 9/1/2013 16:44 PM


I'm sorry that you are hurting. I hope the meds begin to give you relief soon. I don't suffer from depression, but find when I'm feeling down that accomplishing something...anything, helps me. I also like to practice mindfulness to get me out of my head and connected to the world outside of me. And once I'm out of my head I can see that things aren't quite as bad as I'm making them out to be.
((((hugs again))))

nowiknow23 posted 9/1/2013 18:03 PM

Hurtagain - I'm sorry you're in such a low spot right now. These days come and go for me, so I can absolutely relate to what you've written.

Give the ADs time to work. In the meantime, find ways to keep yourself occupied - both mentally and physically.

Also, I may be making an assumption about the pub and house party, but alcohol is NOT your friend when you are depressed. It is a depressant, and can only intensify those feelings. Take care of yourself. ((((Hugs))))

Gr8Lady posted 9/1/2013 18:31 PM

Sometimes our emotional plate is just full, spilling over. That initiates a feeling of becoming overwhelmed.
My IC advised me to lower my expectations, prioritize commitments and rest. It is difficult to get restful sleep when one is so overwhelmed.
Personally, I like to watch movies (my choice) and relax. Today has been a Lifetime Movie Day for me.

PurpleRose posted 9/1/2013 20:32 PM

Sometimes feeling the pain allows me to process it, then I can let it go.

Can you give yourself a "time limit" on this feeling of sadness? Say, ok I'll be sad and grieve the ex today. But tomorrow I will get up, get out of this funk and do something positive for myself.

Even if that is just taking a 15 minute walk through your neighborhood. Or going to get a cup of coffee, or baking a cake. Find some way to bring a small amount of joy into your world.

And hang in there. We are here, and we understand. I hope you find something to being you happiness tomorrow.

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