I will never give up on my wife. Never. I will love her forever....
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time
Good luck. It sounds like having your kids around was helpful, so keep that in the front of your mind.
I am remorseful. 1000%. Like I've read on this site I can't believe how much pain and suffering comes from an A. I was definitely the idiot who only thought about himself and no one else and now my family is stuck in this nightmare. Thanks to me.
It sounds like you're going through a hard time with a most recent D-Day. Good luck yourself. Difficult times ahead for many of us.
I hope the posts by others can aid you in your efforts.
[This message edited by Iamhappytoday at 8:41 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
There are so many needs the betrayed spouse has. Read and re-read everything in the Healing Library--from both sides of the issue.
I don't know your circumstances, but I mean this in a compassionate way, patience is so important. We don't know the full extent of anyone else's experience, so I would hesitate to compare other reconciliation stories, as those of us in the divorce thread can usually attest to also hesitate to comparing ourselves to the AP, or hesitate to step out on any limb linking us with a painful past that has swept us into a current we often have difficulty navigating and keeping our head above water through. What I mean by this is that comparisons in these situations are often not very helpful, except when a sweeping conclusion is generally found, (such as common behaviors on d-day, etc).
Am I hopeful seeing your post of wanting to reconcile?
Sure, perhaps not for myself, but maybe even just for you.
I was told he didn't want to spend the next five years fixing the marriage until it got better again.
That truly hurt. I wanted to be worth that effort to him.
Perhaps you can convince her you are willing to do the work. You can at the least try.
I wish you the best, as I wish everyone here. This is a truly devastating club to be in.
[This message edited by Iamhappytoday at 9:27 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]
I'm sorry you are going through these times and your BW is not able to let go of her anger.
The best thing you can do right now is focus on doing everything you can to be a good person, in all your actions. Continue to treat your BW as wounded and in need of special care, but also work on you, because it's possible your M is over and the A was just a dealbreaker for your BW.
And take care of those kiddos.
Remember that you cannot control your BW and you cannot MAKE her forgive you or allow you back in.
Let go of the outcome and focus on the day to day.
Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.
Just be the best you can be.