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User
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Topic: Well that was a little weird
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MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866 |  Posted: 7:42 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013 |     |
My XSIL, who is good friends with my sister and still touches base with me from time to time, had invited the kids and I over for a bbq. XW was there with her SO as well as many members of her family. It was ok and I enjoyed talking with some of those x-family members. But it was still weird. I guess this is pretty good to be able to do this for my kids at 5 years out from D.
[This message edited by MovingUpward at 7:42 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]
AKA Moo
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Posts: 53970 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation |
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226 | | Posted: 8:00 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013 | |
I think it speaks volumes that you were able to go and enjoy yourself, Moo. Did you know XW and her SO were going to be there?
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 28242 | Registered: Aug 2011 |
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866 | | Posted: 8:01 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013 | |
I knew that they could be there. They left within the 1st hour.
AKA Moo
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Posts: 53970 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation |
inconnu
♀ 24518
Member # 24518 | | Posted: 8:29 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013 | |
I think it's great that you could do that. I'm not sure if I could, not that I ever expect to get an invitation like that. I suspect the only time I'll be in the same place with ex and wifetress, as well as my ex-in-laws, is when one of my kids gets married. Knowing my kids, they'd probably elope to keep that from happening, too.  [This message edited by inconnu at 8:29 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]
Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Posts: 12237 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX |
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129 | | Posted: 8:38 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013 | |
Well kudos to you! Hiw did your kids react? It'll be a cold day in hell before that ever happens in my world.
My XSIL is a complete fake and a bitch and if I never see her again it will be too soon. And the Dooosh will never be welcome around my brothers, in fact that would be a very dangerous endeavor for him.
It is refreshing to hear of folks like you though. I'm glad you could reconnect with them. I'd rather jam a fork in my eye!
divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky
Posts: 3633 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville |
Chrysalis123
♀ 27148
Member # 27148 | | Posted: 8:49 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013 | |
I am 5 years out from D and could not do that. In my case In-laws were and still are rotten to me.
Bravo for Moo! [This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 8:50 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]
Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.
Posts: 3007 | Registered: Jan 2010 |
woundedby2
♀ 18522
Member # 18522 | | Posted: 9:37 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013 | |
Good for you, Moo! I couldn't do it, that's for sure.
Me: BS
2 kids: DD16 and DS19
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
Posts: 7903 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal |
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595 | | Posted: 10:12 PM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013 | |
You did good, Moo !
Yeah, guess I could do it for DSS or one of the GS. I would be thinking how thankful he wasn't my problem. 
Gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
Posts: 20395 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be.. |
wildbananas
♀ 10552
Member # 10552 | | Posted: 12:54 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
You did good, dude.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Posts: 15505 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl |
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349 | | Posted: 1:19 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
AWK-ward.
You handled it like a champ. I'm glad they didn't stay for long. 
(((Moo)))
"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron
Posts: 20786 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California |
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134 | | Posted: 4:49 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
Good for you. I hope you had a good time after they left.
Always nice reconnecting with old friends. I am assuming that you are still friends with XSIL.
Hugs,
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Posts: 6035 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida |
stronger08
♂ 16953
Member # 16953 | | Posted: 5:25 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
Glad it went well Moo. My son is making his confirmation this year and it will be the first time XW and I will have to be in the same room as each other. She has a fiancé who was not the OM. So I don't have any grudge with him. But XW and I have not exactly been friendly over the years. And at times it has been downright nasty. But within the last 6 months or so she has been civil. So I'm praying that we can celebrate our sons day without incident.
You cant eat soup with chopsticks.
Posts: 6118 | Registered: Nov 2007 |
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964 | | Posted: 5:56 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
You are a bigger person than me. i couldnt have done that.
I like how they left within the first hour though, heh
"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott
Posts: 3288 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico |
NaiveAgain
♀ 20849
Member # 20849 | | Posted: 6:31 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
I think that is wonderful that you were able to go to the bbq and handle it so well.
I know it had to be somewhat awkward, and I think it is neat when the parents are able to socialize in the same settings without any major negativity so that is awesome that you were able to go.
You have really come a long way
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
Posts: 15792 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio |
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346 | | Posted: 7:34 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
That is good to hear. I am still trying to deal with seeing ex and his bf at a "family function".
My BIL/SIL (his brother and wife) live in MY neighborhood. They moved here after I did. We discussed it and knew we need to tread carefully. They had a picnic a few months ago, and I couldn't bring myself to go. I just can't show up alone while he has gone on to have a "great relationship" and is now openly gay. I feel like people are talking about me.
I can be around ex and hang out without pain, but I just can't hang out ex and his bf without pain. I'm assuming that all happens with time.
I have hope!
me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced
Posts: 4427 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South |
click4it
♀ 209
Member # 209 | | Posted: 2:12 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
that's pretty darn good MU. way to go. I can't imagine it NOT being weird.
Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
Posts: 25649 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California |
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468 | | Posted: 2:50 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
That's great Moo, and I'm glad they left within the first hour. I also enjoy connecting with that side of the family, but I certainly prefer to do it without XWH nowhere in sight. Lol. 
Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
Posts: 4835 | Registered: Mar 2011 |
dontknowwhyme
♂ 21587
Member # 21587 | | Posted: 10:02 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
It gets easier the more you do it also. I felt it very strange at first but not too bad anymore. I used to be very close with the inlaws. They joke that they wish they had gotten me in the divorce.
I'm glad you were able to make that step. I'm sure the kids enjoy it.
BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
D-Day3:11-3-10
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.
Posts: 1013 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio |
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811 | | Posted: 1:29 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013 | |
(((((MovingUpward)))))
Moo, that is good news! That means you are moving forward and healing just fine!
Posts: 2500 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog. |
| Topic Posts: 19 | |
