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MovingUpward (original poster member #14866) posted at 1:42 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
My XSIL, who is good friends with my sister and still touches base with me from time to time, had invited the kids and I over for a bbq. XW was there with her SO as well as many members of her family. It was ok and I enjoyed talking with some of those x-family members. But it was still weird. I guess this is pretty good to be able to do this for my kids at 5 years out from D.
[This message edited by MovingUpward at 7:42 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:00 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I think it speaks volumes that you were able to go and enjoy yourself, Moo. Did you know XW and her SO were going to be there?
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
MovingUpward (original poster member #14866) posted at 2:01 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I knew that they could be there. They left within the 1st hour.
inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 2:29 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I think it's great that you could do that. I'm not sure if I could, not that I ever expect to get an invitation like that. I suspect the only time I'll be in the same place with ex and wifetress, as well as my ex-in-laws, is when one of my kids gets married. Knowing my kids, they'd probably elope to keep that from happening, too. 
[This message edited by inconnu at 8:29 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]
There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 2:38 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Well kudos to you! Hiw did your kids react? It'll be a cold day in hell before that ever happens in my world.
My XSIL is a complete fake and a bitch and if I never see her again it will be too soon. And the Dooosh will never be welcome around my brothers, in fact that would be a very dangerous endeavor for him.
It is refreshing to hear of folks like you though. I'm glad you could reconnect with them. I'd rather jam a fork in my eye!
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 2:49 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I am 5 years out from D and could not do that. In my case In-laws were and still are rotten to me.
Bravo for Moo!
[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 8:50 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
woundedby2 ( member #18522) posted at 3:37 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Good for you, Moo! I couldn't do it, that's for sure.
In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 4:12 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
You did good, Moo !
Yeah, guess I could do it for DSS or one of the GS. I would be thinking how thankful he wasn't my problem. 
Gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 6:54 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
You did good, dude.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 7:19 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
AWK-ward.
You handled it like a champ. I'm glad they didn't stay for long. 
(((Moo)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 10:49 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Good for you. I hope you had a good time after they left.
Always nice reconnecting with old friends. I am assuming that you are still friends with XSIL.
Hugs,
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 11:25 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Glad it went well Moo. My son is making his confirmation this year and it will be the first time XW and I will have to be in the same room as each other. She has a fiancé who was not the OM. So I don't have any grudge with him. But XW and I have not exactly been friendly over the years. And at times it has been downright nasty. But within the last 6 months or so she has been civil. So I'm praying that we can celebrate our sons day without incident.
You cant eat soup with chopsticks.
cayc ( member #21964) posted at 11:56 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
You are a bigger person than me. i couldnt have done that.
I like how they left within the first hour though, heh
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 12:31 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I think that is wonderful that you were able to go to the bbq and handle it so well.
I know it had to be somewhat awkward, and I think it is neat when the parents are able to socialize in the same settings without any major negativity so that is awesome that you were able to go.
You have really come a long way
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 1:34 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
That is good to hear. I am still trying to deal with seeing ex and his bf at a "family function".
My BIL/SIL (his brother and wife) live in MY neighborhood. They moved here after I did. We discussed it and knew we need to tread carefully. They had a picnic a few months ago, and I couldn't bring myself to go. I just can't show up alone while he has gone on to have a "great relationship" and is now openly gay. I feel like people are talking about me.
I can be around ex and hang out without pain, but I just can't hang out ex and his bf without pain. I'm assuming that all happens with time.
I have hope!
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
click4it ( member #209) posted at 8:12 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
that's pretty darn good MU. way to go. I can't imagine it NOT being weird.
Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 8:50 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
That's great Moo, and I'm glad they left within the first hour. I also enjoy connecting with that side of the family, but I certainly prefer to do it without XWH nowhere in sight. Lol. 
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
dontknowwhyme ( member #21587) posted at 4:02 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
It gets easier the more you do it also. I felt it very strange at first but not too bad anymore. I used to be very close with the inlaws. They joke that they wish they had gotten me in the divorce.
I'm glad you were able to make that step. I'm sure the kids enjoy it.
BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
D-Day3:11-3-10
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.
Exit Wounds ( member #32811) posted at 7:29 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
(((((MovingUpward)))))
Moo, that is good news! That means you are moving forward and healing just fine!
Exit WoundsH of 17 years got gf pregnant, left our kids 9 & 11 and we never saw him again. -His choice.
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