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Phoenix9572 (original poster member #39987) posted at 3:47 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
This week has been so weird since I threw WH out on Tuesday. He has begun dismantaling our life together as if it was routine business. Very sad.
Tonight I boxed/bagged up all his remaining clothes and personal items. The hardest was boxing up his nightstand that had all the cards I had given to him over our 22 years together. Flipping through some, I found the cards I gave him from our 1st wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it has come to this.
So tonight I sit alone with our boys gone with him for their first "visit". The house is too quiet and too empty.
Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 4:03 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
((Phoenix)). It will get better.
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 4:50 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Iamhappytoday ( member #39051) posted at 5:05 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
There aren't enough hugs I could give to help you.
I know how intensely this hurts. I once read a thought someone shared that expressed true support:
"I grieve with you"
(((Hugs)))
And just keep breathing and hang in there. The ebb and flow of the pain is rough. Be good to yourself.
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:58 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
peridot ( member #18334) posted at 6:33 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I think...therefore, I'm single.
It is what it is.
sleepless34 ( member #40274) posted at 1:37 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Your destiny is not tied to his. This is his story, it doesn't have to be yours...not forever anyway.
I am in same boat. I am separted since 4 weeks ago and the stbx has my kids. I went out to lunch with a friend who let me talk it out. I reviewed the financials, took a break from being mommy all weekend. Waiting for them to come home soon and be all mommy-esque again. Feeling good today actually. This is starting to sink in. I will survive. It gets better. Get a massage. Enjoy your solitude.
So sorry. You have to deal with the pain, if you don't, it won't go away. You are innocent and you can sleep at night. He on the other hand is a huge arsehole.
Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 1:57 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
(((Phoenix)))
It is very painful, we've all experienced it and it's terribly hard.
I found tuning in to a jazz station playing instrumentals to be soothing. Kept it on when I went out so I didn't have to come home to silence.
Hope you can treat yourself to a hot bath and some stupid TV or something tonight.
It will get better. It just takes time and a lot of tears.
Big hugs.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
ThisHell ( member #37089) posted at 3:01 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
I am so sorry for your pain. I remember the first few weeks being, well, surreal. I will say...once I was able to remove his things and not look around at what was no longer there really helped me. The next step was slowly making things my own. Even just a new comforter on my bed and rearranging a few pieces of furniture helped as crazy as it seems. Its hard. It really is. But you will get through it and you will be stronger and healthier than ever.
Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore
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