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He's back in the country...noooooo!!!

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Strongmama posted 9/1/2013 22:11 PM

It's been a great and wonderful past few weeks for my kids and myself:)
With the ahole gone there were very very few of his stupid interrogation phone calls, and only a few stupid ass texts trying to make my kids question everything we do because he makes it sound criminal to them to do anything.....wtf ever!
I knew that fucking rat bastard was back in the country Friday; he told the kids, and they told me. So, I just sat back and waited for him to contact the kids! Lol. Took until Sunday night. You know; he needs his dick service time. He is such a bad selfish dad/person I am still amazed by it.
I just can't wrap my head around being away from my kids for weeks and then still putting whatever skank I'm doing for the moment before them...oh wait; that's what he's been doing to me and them for years. Duh silly me!
Wtf couldn't he have just stayed his ugly mean ass far far far away like forever. It makes me sick to think of him in the same state! Barf!
That's all. Gotta vent here so I don't ever talk like this in front of my babies who have heard their fair share of bad from that gd asshole! Grrr!!!
GO AWAY YOU LOSER PIECE OF SHIT! FOREVER! YOU ARE A JOKE OF A DAD AND THE KIDS NEVER SAID ONE THING ABOUT YOU OR ABOUT MISSING YOU OR WANTING TO SEE YOU FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS. FUCK OFF! YOU DO NOTHING BUT ASK A MILLON QUESTIONS LIKE A F'ING PRISON GUARD AND MAKE THEM NERVOUS YOU MEAN HATEFUL BULLY JERK! YOU NEVER DESERVED THESE GREAT KIDS, AND THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN THE CRUEL TREATMENT YOU DOLE OUT CREEP! GO FOCUS ON YOUR NEWEST VICTIMS KIDS AND LEAVE US ALONE! God I hate hearing my kids get nervous when he calls and the 20 fing questions begin. Why can't he just have a normal non threatening sounding conversation with them? Oh because he's a big fucked up meanie. That's why.
Whew had to scream that out. Mucho better.
Thanks as always for listening to my ridiculous vents.

LadyQ posted 9/1/2013 22:22 PM

Fabulous rant, Strong!

Nature_Girl posted 9/1/2013 22:22 PM

Vent away! I totally relate to your kids having to endure a CIA-worthy interrogation every single time they get on the phone with their father. My STBX does this to. It's so wrong!

Strongmama posted 9/1/2013 22:30 PM

Thanks LadyQ, and Nature Girl it seriously makes me ill to see my daughters wheels in her head spinning ash she tries to answer his creaking questions how she thinks she should. God I could throat punch that fat ass bully!
I'll never ever forget the night she came home and told me that he had gotten upset waiting for a pizza in the midst of a cancer fund raiser at Pizza Hut. This was a while ago at the beginning of the divorce after that assface walked out on us. Well my youngest who was pretty darn young then was getting antsy and wouldn't sit still so he grabbed her thigh under the table and squeezes hard and gave her that evil scary ass look of death. I'll never forget her telling me this in bed a few days later:(
I truly wish he'd just go away. He's done south psychological damage to these smart; sweet; healthy kids and its been so wonderful having them here and then not coming home brain dead from his moms or gf's house.
Gah!! So horrible! But I know it could much worse and my kids seem to know what they're dealing with and how to play the game. My oldest knows his dad insane....his words not mine! Lol

Strongmama posted 9/1/2013 22:31 PM

Sorry about all those typos. Too lazy to fix them tonight so I'll apologize.
These phones....haha!

Nature_Girl posted 9/1/2013 22:49 PM

I think we all understand typos...

heartbroken_kk posted 9/1/2013 23:10 PM

GREAT RANT! KEEP IT UP STRONGMAMA!!!

We are here for you. SI is your place to come and rant and piss and moan about his lame-ass self!

And do not worry about typos. We get the gist of it!

Strongmama posted 9/1/2013 23:16 PM

Thank you!!

curiouswiz posted 9/2/2013 08:14 AM

I didn't see any typos....hmmm I'm very snotty about them too but dang mama .. I didn't notice one.

What I did notice? Your lovely vent. Isn't it wonderful to come here and know that you're completely understood? Vent away honey.

jjct posted 9/2/2013 08:35 AM

Ventaway! The brand new soul-cleanah! Buy it today, 2 for the price of one!

Been awhile since I felt like putting my ass-kicking boots on

You know what this is to me?
Emotional abuse.
FTG.

How to help them deal?
- IC
- get them tools to deal with it, to minimize its effects

Out of the mouth of babes, right?
He's insane.
Unfortunately, he's *who he is* to them, but the tools you provide them with will help them deal with nutbars for the rest of their lives (just so sorry they have to grow up in a hurry like this)
"I don't feel like talking about that now" is just one great phrase they can "go to" to distance themselves from his abuse...
Teach them more.

Bastard.

Strongmama posted 9/2/2013 09:13 AM

Thank you JJCT! Love that phrase and will definitely be talking with my kids.

jjct posted 9/2/2013 10:53 AM

You are more than welcome!

You can predict this:

The first time they use that phrase, (any good detaching phrase out of a handful you guys agree on)
he won't like it, and you can bet the house he will keep pushing.

When the children are put into the position of having to repeat that phrase,
that's when you tell them *they have permission* to hang up, leave, whatever...

It's tough enough for us to give our own selves permission to detach from toxic emotional abuse sometimes, isn't it?

Yah, so for the kids, the *permission* part needs to be reinforced - very clearly, very solidly,
so they don't feel bad about enforcing their own healthy boundaries.

Bastard.

jjct posted 9/2/2013 10:57 AM

Another benefit -

When you predict his reaction (while schooling them on responses),

you will end up with respect and
you will be the "better place to be".

"Gosh, how did you know that, mom?"
Build on that.
You're their "sage"...

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