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WH Committed Suicide

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DaysOfMyLife posted 9/2/2013 02:44 AM

I am in complete shock! WH was suppose to pick DD this evening for his visitation and he never showed. I texted and called many times with no luck. I was starting to get worried so I texted a few neighbours to see if anyone could check on him. I finally got one who was almost home from work, unfortunately he didn't make it there before our 15 year old son did. Our son found his father hung in the front entrance. I don't even know what I am feeling. I thought the separation/divorce was a roller coaster ride, this is crazy! I did still love him but I knew I couldn't be with him anymore. I was saying to my mother today that it would be easier if he was dead...it's not! I haven't told our 7 year old daughter yet, that will come tomorrow. Is there anyone who has ever been through this?

dmari posted 9/2/2013 02:54 AM

I am so so so sorry. I am so sorry for your son who found him. I am sorry for all of you. I am sorry for your young daughter.

I have not been through this but my stbx has been suicidal (before dday) and right before he left he told me if I didn't let him be happy (with his girlfriend), he was going to shoot his head off and have our children find him. So what you are going through, IS one of my worst nightmares. Just always remember: this is not your fault.

Please be sure to tell your and your children's doctors and therapist so that they can support you. I am so sorry that you and your children have to go through this. Please please take care of each other.

[This message edited by dmari at 12:25 PM, September 2nd (Monday)]

timeforchange posted 9/2/2013 03:04 AM

Ah your poor poor boy
My heart bleeds for him.

This is a nightmare ..... I am so sorry for everyone's pain.

Vulcanized posted 9/2/2013 03:43 AM

I am so sorry for your son and for you. That's terrible that your son had to find his dad like that.

((DoML))

trebleclef posted 9/2/2013 03:47 AM

Oh DOML, I'm SO sorry!
I haven't had to deal with this yet, but my IC and I just discussed the what ifs this week.

Prayers for you and your kids.

meaniemouse posted 9/2/2013 03:56 AM

DOML--I am so very sorry for your loss, for you son who found your WH, for your daughter, for your whole family. I hope you have a caring, supportive and sensitive circle of friends and family to surround you with all of the empathy and compassion you and your children need. I cannot imagine what the next few days, weeks and months will be like for you and I wish you all of the strength and peace that you need.

I don't know anyone who has been in this exact situation but do know people who have had to pick up the pieces after the suicide of a close friend or family member. One of the best things that helped them through was the incredible amount of support they got from neighbors, church friends, family friends. Let people help you with whatever you need. This is a time to look after yourself and your children and accept any assistance that is offered and that you feel comfortable with. Right now be concerned only with yourself and your children and your needs. Take things one day at a time and take care of yourself.

Again--there is no way this is going to be easy but you will get through it. Here's hoping you get everything you need to get through this dark time. Please, please take care of you.

heartbroken_kk posted 9/2/2013 05:16 AM

Oh, wow.

I'm so sorry you are faced with this terrible event. And your poor son, how awful!

stronger08 posted 9/2/2013 05:19 AM

I have experienced the suicide of an immediate family member. That said, you must not allow what he did to himself to add guilt to your life. It was his choice to end his life. Just as it was his choice to have an A. I feel for your children and they will need you very much now. Please get help for them if needed. Especially your son who found him. There is much available for survivors of suicide. I suggest you seek it out. God bless his soul. And God bless you and your kids.

OK now posted 9/2/2013 06:58 AM

Your poor son needs urgent counseling. Please watch and monitor him very closely after this awful trauma.

My deepest sympathies.

DaysOfMyLife posted 9/2/2013 07:04 AM

Thanks everyone. We live in a community where Victim Services came out after the police so we spoke to them briefly. I had already set up an appointment with his school guidance counsellor for Tuesday about the divorce so he wants me to bring him there. I also have the name of a good counsellor in town but because of the long weekend nothing will happen until Tuesday. Still have the tell our 7 year old daughter today and then get through the next while taking care of them and making sure they are ok. I have a message left with my former counsellor so hopefully I will get in to see her soon. Now I have to find a counsellor for our daughter.

PurpleBirch posted 9/2/2013 07:14 AM

(((DOML)))

I'm so sorry for your loss. I read the Shirely Glass book and highlighted the line about how it would be easier of he died rather than have an affair. That was the anger talking though.

Wow. I can't believe you, your family, and your poor son have to deal with this. Sending strength your way.

Walking posted 9/2/2013 07:23 AM

So so sorry, how awful. Really awful. I am really impressed with how you have been able to quickly line up a support structure for your kids. They are lucky to have you as their mom. You and your family are in my thoughts.

tesla posted 9/2/2013 07:28 AM

Your poor son. I am so sorry that he saw that.

((((DOML, DS, DD))))

AussieMum posted 9/2/2013 07:42 AM

Oh my goodness I'm so very sorry - your poor boy. Take care of each other.

JustDone posted 9/2/2013 08:00 AM

I'm so so sorry. No personal experience, but a friend of mine had something similar happen. Her DD found her dad hung in the garage. DD was 18 at the time. It's 5 years later and they are both doing well, and so is her DS. I'll pm you the details.

Big hugs to you and the kids.

sinsof thefather posted 9/2/2013 08:08 AM

I'm so very sad to hear this news. All of you have my thoughts and prayers.

hexed posted 9/2/2013 08:18 AM

((days)))

I am so so sorry for all of you. I just don't have words.

tryingagain74 posted 9/2/2013 08:40 AM

Oh, Days, I'm so sorry! Your poor son-- my heart breaks for him; I'm so sorry that he was the one to find his dad like that.

Sending you mountains of prayers and positive thoughts for your whole family.

(((Days, DD, DS)))

Strongmama posted 9/2/2013 08:40 AM

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for your son finding him. There truly are no words.
(((DOML)))

homewrecked2011 posted 9/2/2013 08:52 AM

Thru the next few months you have to make sure everyone makes their counseling appointments. I let a few appts go and now I'm having a hard time getting the kids back in, and we weren't dealing with anything like this.

Keep every appointment so you can all heal.

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