So, DD was 4 years ago today. (By day, not date) XH and I had been really distant and fighting alot for the 2 weeks prior. The week before that, XH was talking about going back to the foreign country where we got M'd to renew our vows for our 5th anniversary.
I triggered hard the first year, less the second, less last year. However, it's still my own personal hellish holiday.
Our D was final 5 months ago a few days ago. I'm mostly o.k. with that.
Not quite sure what my point is. Maybe mourning the loss of my M as I knew it. Maybe trying to offer some hope to those of you who are much closer to it.
For the most part, am relatively happy. Miss the man that I thought XH was. Still have a rough time wrapping my head around who XH is vs. who I thought XH was.
I'm rambling; sorry, just came off a really rough shift.
Considering where I was 4 years ago vs. where I am today, I guess there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I read (the collective) y'all threads and think I'm so far behind, and so much further out. Despite all that, there is some small modicum of healing further down the road. Maybe that's where I'm going with this.
My brain is a wee bit fried. Hugs to all of y'all that need it.