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Chance to mess with OW's head

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 changedforlife (original poster member #38474) posted at 8:31 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013

I know there are many of you who will say not to let the OW have any space in my head and to direct my anger at my WH but I am not at the point yet. I am OK with having anger for OW. I enjoy the fantasy of messing with her head even if I don't actually do any of it.

Ever since WH has gone NC (as far as I can tell) this last time, OW has increased her cyber stalking of us.

She created a Linkedin account and has been creeping my WH's account. Her Twitter account had been private but she since opened it up in the hopes of WH reading it, I'm sure. She sent me an email playing the victim and blaming me for the end of her marriage because I contacted her BH. She created a Pinterest account and has been looking at my pins and pinning things hoping I will see them. Quotes such as "Don't keep calm, slap that bitch hard" and "A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere" and "Revenge, nah. I'm too lazy. I'm going to sit here and let Karma fuck you up." etc, etc.

Anyway, I would never have known she was stalking my pins except she must have hit follow on one of my boards by accident or she did it on purpose to let me know she was out there in Pinterestland. I got a notification that she is following a board that I created for websites to check out.

So here is where I could mess with her head if I wanted to. I would love to pin a bunch of websites so she would see all the ones I pinned on her homepage. I would love to flood her homepage with all my pins for websites about cheaters, etc. What are some good websites that would really make her go "hmmm"?

As I said, I probably won't do it because I also have other friends on pinterest that would see my pins that have no idea what is going on. It's mostly just a fantasy thing.

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6471672
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sullymeishadomi ( member #16305) posted at 8:55 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013

You know what would screw with her head even more? To know youre happy. Post places where you would like to vacation. Live your life. I know hou said this is fantasy revenge, but mostly the best revenge is a life well lived. Ow's on the whole (not all of them)are self proclaimed victims. Dont play into the game.

Time to be my own bff.

posts: 9311   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2007   ·   location: NJ
id 6471685
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 9:01 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013

Anything you do that is directed towards her will not mess with her. It will FUEL her. Period.

The biggest way to piss them off is to cut off the feed. I know I know, "Why should I have to give pinterest/facebook/twitter up?" Well, depending on how much of your life these things actually take up it can be quite freeing.

I axed pinterest and LinkedIn because COW was using them to keep her name under our noses.

She is playing YOU. She is doing this to drive YOU crazy, and it's working because you are spending time and energy thinking about her.

Even if you tell yourself you're keeping it to fantasy, you are giving her a place in your marriage by thinking about her whatsoever.

Nothing hurts them more than being on the outside of a brick wall. Please believe this.

She wins if you spend a second thinking about her instead of your marriage.

(((changedforlife)))

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6471687
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 9:21 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013

I agree with Jrazz 100 percent.

HOWEVER, I can certainly see the entertainment value in creating dream vacation or wedding vow renewal Pinterest boards. You know. Because it's fun.

(If you are going on a dream vacation or planning renewal, by all means do these things. But do it for YOU, not with the idea that it will give you any real sense of satisfaction vis-a-vis OW.

Because really, she doesn't care about you. At all.)

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6471697
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TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 9:32 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013

That is how I screw with my OW....my Facebook page just oozes my happy family. My profile picture will ALWAYS be one with both my H and I smiling and happy. My friends that know just laugh. Everyone else just thinks we are such a happy bunch!!!!!

I love screwing her with happiness :o)

T

Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!

posts: 605   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: CDN
id 6471704
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 changedforlife (original poster member #38474) posted at 2:30 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

Ok, ok...I know. I appreciate that you are trying to help me and show me the way.

Jrazz - Logically, I know what you are saying is true. But since I will be thinking about her anytime I think of the A which is still the majority of the day, I would prefer to think about making her life hell. Maybe in time that will change...

BTW, we have given up some online things but WH has to maintain some through work but I have the passwords to check on them.

I do love the ideas for posting vacation and wedding vow renewal pins. WH and I never actually got married due to finances, etc. so a board with eloping ideas would be fun - (NOT VEGAS!) Those ideas put a smile on my face!

TxsT - I love it!

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6472414
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 6:20 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

I totally hear you, changedforlife. I was in that exact same space for a long time. It took people hammering at me to get outside and think about something else before I felt free of this garbage.

I'm not judging at all, I'm just remembering my boot-camp training to true happiness and trying to plant the seed.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6472671
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 changedforlife (original poster member #38474) posted at 6:59 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

Jrazz - I do thank you for reminding me of the ultimate goal and taking the time out to post. I really respect your opinions and wisdom. I am a work in progress. (Aren't we all!)

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6472748
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2married2quit ( member #36555) posted at 10:06 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

LOL...Love it.

I think for me, the OM I rather him wonder. Wonder if he destroyed a home, wonder if we both hate him, wonder if he even mattered to us both. I think that to me is more disturbing to him since I know him. If he saw a photo of FWW and I together happy, he would probably be happy for us and feel like he really didn't do much damage after all. Not gonna give him the satisfaction.

BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 ( she's a childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
She had 2 affairs with two different men.
Status: divorced.

posts: 1746   ·   registered: Aug. 20th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6473027
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purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 2:00 AM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013

When I run into I just make eye contact until she breaks it. I. Win. Every. Time!!!

Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???

posts: 3013   ·   registered: Dec. 20th, 2011   ·   location: Here
id 6473241
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Lostinthismess ( member #39210) posted at 5:12 AM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013

There are some funny cheater ecards. Just search cheater or whore on Pinterest, tag her in the description. A dig on her, and she'll unfollow you quick. You let her know if she wants to play fuckfuck, you'll play along. She's not 'clever' by searching you out. Let her slink to her corner and pout. I'm a vindictive b though

'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

posts: 401   ·   registered: May. 8th, 2013
id 6473382
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 changedforlife (original poster member #38474) posted at 1:51 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013

Well, damn! Looks like OW figured out that she hit the follow button and has since unfollowed me.

Thanks for the laughs and support!

PS. Now I'd love to find an ecard that says "Caught you stalking me! Now FUCK OFF!"

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6473564
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