I think it's true that people really do not know how to deal with infidelity. Illness? Death? That they can handle- meals, flowers, a shoulder to cry on. It is something most others have a history with.
But a cheating spouse is scary, foreign and maybe contagious. People shy away from conflict- and let's face it a divorce from infidelity is full of conflict. So they back away and do nothing.
I think it's probably worse for you being a guy. Don't know too many guys who can comfort a friend like you need right now. And the married ones have wives who are petrified that you are now "single and ready to mingle" and don't want their husbands fraternizing with what you are looking for. (Of course you are no where near ready for that... We all know that but they don't).
Reach out. Have a beer, grab some food, go bowling. Be proactive in getting what you need from your friends and they might surprise you with it- once they understand what that is.
[This message edited by PurpleRose at 10:07 PM, September 2nd (Monday)]