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sad34 (original poster member #40358) posted at 5:08 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
You know that feeling u get. When u realize your life will never b the same? That your WS who was suppose to have your back, was suppose to b your best friend, was suppose to b your protector has destroyed your life forever?
You might "r" but the trust will never b the same.
For me and the LTA, those years and memories will always b tainted.
My sobs come from my soul, I trusted him so much that its hard to put into words. No matter his faults, his ethics was some thing I never doubted.
My heart hurts:( it's justs hurts!!! And all for what? He got an ego boost!!!! Well thanx lol glad u enjoyed that:(
Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:09 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Sal1995 ( member #39099) posted at 5:27 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
So sorry, sad. I know your pain all too well.
fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 5:31 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 5:32 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Hey sad34... I can really relate to your pain and what you are feeling here, with the LTA and the tainted memories. Things can and do get better with time. I'm so sorry you are going through so much hurt right now. Hang in there, and keep posting. We're here to support you. Take care.
vivere ( member #34465) posted at 5:56 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Yes Sad34, I know that feeling well. Betrayed just doesn't seem like a strong enough word to encompass all that you are feeling.
Try to find some relief from the 'all consuming sadness' by doing something that you used to love, used to enjoy. Something just for you.
I remember this being so difficult to do but it did give me other things to focus on. Only for short moments initially but with time those shifts in focus got longer and longer.
I still think those things on occasion, but infrequently, and not with the same gut wrenching sense of loss that I had initially.
((sad34))
You are responsible for your own happiness :)
heartbroken2012 ( member #38089) posted at 8:33 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
I feel the same.
BS(Me)
WH(Him)
OW - (former co worker of WH)
Dday: Dec 2012
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 8:41 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Me too.
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Iamacrab ( member #40410) posted at 8:46 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Sending you positive thoughts sad34. I too feel the same.
Spelljean ( member #35624) posted at 9:43 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Totally get what you are feeling.
Its one tiny inch of improvement every day with miles ahead still.
And even though the multiple ddays were excruciating, at that point, I still never returned to the total depths of despair of my initial dday. Others may disagree, some people have been to hell and back multiple times.
But I feel the same way you do. Like now, nobody has got my back either. Not emotioally, not financially, not in any single way. And you're in a position where you can't just run out and start over yet. You're stuck putting these pieces together one at a time and its frustrating as hell.
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
OldCow18 ( member #39670) posted at 10:12 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
I'm right there with you
Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13
needrespect ( member #37951) posted at 10:18 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Feeling the same here. Bless us all.
BS-me 45
WH-40
married 11 yrs, together 15
DS13 DS9
Dday May 2012 EA
False R... Dday#2 11/30/2012 PA same MOW
The opposite of love is not hate ... It is indifference.
Status:%$$&^&^$#@@
seems I'm on the 15 year plan
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:56 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Yes I do know how you feel. I no longer see my WH as the protector. My WH has betrayed me more than once and someone who does that in my eyes cannot be trusted unfortunately.
I absolutely cannot stand the all consuming sadness. It scares me because I worry about my coping skills and hope that I don't try to cut myself. I get the sadness every week and then I get a few days where I feel completely fine. The rollercoaster is no joke.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
LiedtoLucy ( member #39246) posted at 11:12 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013
Same here.. Worst feeling ever. Don't know how to get past it. I feel your pain.
LTL
Me: BS
Him: WH
OW=Single Coworker
OW had a baby. We do not know if my H is the father.
DDay: 4/23/13
Together: 16 years
Married: 12
Kids: 3 beautiful boys. Ages: 11, 6, 3
Limbo 2 + years after dday
sad34 (original poster member #40358) posted at 4:02 AM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
Double post:):
[This message edited by sad34 at 10:05 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)]
Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R
sad34 (original poster member #40358) posted at 4:05 AM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
I thank u all for your honesty! To know I'm not alone is a start!
Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R
undonelife ( member #38421) posted at 4:15 AM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
"No matter his faults, his ethics was some thing I never doubted. "
Yep. Right with you. Especially ^^^ this !
Me: BS 59 Him: WH 57
M: 34 years
DDay 1 1986 EA Confessed,Rugswept
DDay 2 11/25/2012 EA/PA Caught
TT 9/9/13 Lies,Pictures
OW:20 yrs younger M-CwOW
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