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User
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Topic: All consuming sadness
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sad34
♀ 40358
Member # 40358 |  Posted: 11:08 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 |     |
You know that feeling u get. When u realize your life will never b the same? That your WS who was suppose to have your back, was suppose to b your best friend, was suppose to b your protector has destroyed your life forever?
You might "r" but the trust will never b the same.
For me and the LTA, those years and memories will always b tainted.
My sobs come from my soul, I trusted him so much that its hard to put into words. No matter his faults, his ethics was some thing I never doubted.
My heart hurts:( it's justs hurts!!! And all for what? He got an ego boost!!!! Well thanx lol glad u enjoyed that:(
Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R
Posts: 140 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada |
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349 |  Posted: 11:09 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
(((sad34)))
"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron
Posts: 20977 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California |
Sal1995
♂ 39099
Member # 39099 | | Posted: 11:27 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
So sorry, sad. I know your pain all too well.
Me (BS)-46, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling
Posts: 1593 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas |
fallingquickly
♀ 36599
Member # 36599 | | Posted: 11:31 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
I understand.
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.
Posts: 462 | Registered: Aug 2012 |
LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369 | | Posted: 11:32 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
Hey sad34... I can really relate to your pain and what you are feeling here, with the LTA and the tainted memories. Things can and do get better with time. I'm so sorry you are going through so much hurt right now. Hang in there, and keep posting. We're here to support you. Take care.
Posts: 10694 | Registered: Dec 2010 |
vivere
♀ 34465
Member # 34465 | | Posted: 11:56 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013 | |
Yes Sad34, I know that feeling well. Betrayed just doesn't seem like a strong enough word to encompass all that you are feeling.
Try to find some relief from the 'all consuming sadness' by doing something that you used to love, used to enjoy. Something just for you.
I remember this being so difficult to do but it did give me other things to focus on. Only for short moments initially but with time those shifts in focus got longer and longer.
I still think those things on occasion, but infrequently, and not with the same gut wrenching sense of loss that I had initially.
((sad34))
You are responsible for your own happiness :)
Posts: 316 | Registered: Jan 2012 |
heartbroken2012
♀ 38089
Member # 38089 | | Posted: 2:33 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
I feel the same.
BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)
Posts: 574 | Registered: Jan 2013 |
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826 | | Posted: 2:41 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
Me too.
BS(me)42
FWH 46
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Posts: 8653 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana |
Iamacrab
40410
Member # 40410 | | Posted: 2:46 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
Sending you positive thoughts sad34. I too feel the same.
Posts: 103 | Registered: Aug 2013 |
Spelljean
♀ 35624
Member # 35624 | | Posted: 3:43 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
Totally get what you are feeling.
Its one tiny inch of improvement every day with miles ahead still.
And even though the multiple ddays were excruciating, at that point, I still never returned to the total depths of despair of my initial dday. Others may disagree, some people have been to hell and back multiple times.
But I feel the same way you do. Like now, nobody has got my back either. Not emotioally, not financially, not in any single way. And you're in a position where you can't just run out and start over yet. You're stuck putting these pieces together one at a time and its frustrating as hell.
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
Posts: 948 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California |
OldCow18
♀ 39670
Member # 39670 | | Posted: 4:12 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
I'm right there with you
Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13
Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013 |
needrespect
♀ 37951
Member # 37951 | | Posted: 4:18 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
Feeling the same here. Bless us all.
BS-me 45
WH-40
married 11 yrs, together 15
DS13 DS9
Dday May 2012 EA
False R... Dday#2 11/30/2012 PA same MOW
The opposite of love is not hate ... It is indifference.
Status:%$$&^&^$#@@
seems I'm on the 15 year plan
Posts: 70 | Registered: Dec 2012 |
crazyblindsided
♀ 35215
Member # 35215 | | Posted: 4:56 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
Yes I do know how you feel. I no longer see my WH as the protector. My WH has betrayed me more than once and someone who does that in my eyes cannot be trusted unfortunately.
I absolutely cannot stand the all consuming sadness. It scares me because I worry about my coping skills and hope that I don't try to cut myself. I get the sadness every week and then I get a few days where I feel completely fine. The rollercoaster is no joke.
BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08 OW1, 5/09 OW1, 3/30/12 OW2
Final Dday 7/11/14 Same OW2
Posts: 2351 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California |
LiedtoLucy
♀ 39246
Member # 39246 | | Posted: 5:12 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
Same here.. Worst feeling ever. Don't know how to get past it. I feel your pain.
LTL
Me: BS
Him: WH
OW=UW or Ugly Whore- cow of WH
UW claims to be pregnant w/ WH baby and I HATE her for it.
DDay: 4/23/13
Together: 14 years
Married: 10 years
Kids: 3 beautiful boys. Ages: 8, 4, & 19 months
Trying to R-Some days are
Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Southeastern U.S. |
sad34
♀ 40358
Member # 40358 | | Posted: 10:02 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
Double post:): [This message edited by sad34 at 10:05 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)]
Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R
Posts: 140 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada |
sad34
♀ 40358
Member # 40358 | | Posted: 10:05 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
I thank u all for your honesty! To know I'm not alone is a start!
Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R
Posts: 140 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada |
undonelife
♀ 38421
Member # 38421 | | Posted: 10:15 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013 | |
"No matter his faults, his ethics was some thing I never doubted. "
Yep. Right with you. Especially ^^^ this !
Me: BS 53 Him: WH 51
M: 28 years
DDay 1 1986 EA Confessed
DDay 2 EA/PA Caught 11/25/12
TT 9/9/13 In R
OW:20 yrs younger McOW
Kids: 2
Posts: 206 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Dont know anymore |
| Topic Posts: 17 | |
