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stungbytravel posted 9/3/2013 13:23 PM

My wedding anniversary is tomorrow. I made plans to be with some girlfriends so I didn't have to be alone. However, WH just texted me and asked if I would be interested in meeting for dinner?

We have been separated for 2.5 months. I have not spoken to him in two months except for a few texts.

What do I do?

[This message edited by stungbytravel at 1:23 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)]

Nature_Girl posted 9/3/2013 13:25 PM

Why would you want to?

stungbytravel posted 9/3/2013 13:27 PM

I have no clue why I would want to and no clue why he would want to ask. I am actually afraid he is going to tell me he wants a divorce on the date. I dont want that.

Nature_Girl posted 9/3/2013 13:31 PM

You already have plans with your girlfriend. I suggest you keep them, especially since the possibility exists that your WH might use the opportunity to hurt you even more.

Keep your plans. If by some chance he's wanting to reconcile, he'll be able to deal with the fact that you already have plans with your friend.

EvenKeel posted 9/3/2013 13:31 PM

I would not go.

If he is going to ask for the D...you don't want it on that date. If he isn't going to say that, you don't want him riding the coat-tails of happier past-days associated with that date.

I would tell him you have plans and go out with your friends.

Jrazz posted 9/3/2013 13:32 PM

Don't go, stung.

If in 2.5 months he has done nothing to make amends for what he has done, having dinner can only lead to disaster.

He may be planning on dropping a bomb, or he may picture himself some kind of hero for inviting you out. Either way, only a few texts over a few months indicates that he does not care very much about your feelings. Don't let him make you feel badly for declining - it's a really inappropriate offer under the circumstances.

I love the idea of you going out with girlfriends. It's still going to hurt and feel weird, but you will hopefully be with people who love and respect you.

(((stungbytravel)))

sunsetslost posted 9/3/2013 14:02 PM

Mine is next Monday.

I don't plan on even turning on my phone.

Don't go. Protect yourself.

stungbytravel posted 9/3/2013 14:22 PM

Any idea what I say? I don't want to be a bitch about it.

Pass posted 9/3/2013 14:31 PM

Just say, "No thanks. I have plans."

After two months of non-communication, you owe him no details or explanations. Be firm.

If you want to be polite as well, that's okay too, but he doesn't get a window into your life anymore.

osxgirl posted 9/3/2013 14:39 PM

Your answer is simple - I have other plans. That's it. No details. He doesn't deserve any.

TrustGone posted 9/3/2013 14:43 PM

^^^^I agree. He needs no explaination as to why you don't want to go. He no longer deserves one. Go and have some fun with your friends.

homewrecked2011 posted 9/3/2013 15:05 PM

My WH and I met for lunch about 2.5 months after he left. He was really confused and we talked some.

So,, I think you want to go eat with him to see what he wants to say.

I'd personally tell him you have plans for that night, does he want to go out to eat Fri night instead.

That way, if he is interested in talking about something good or bad it's another night.

Do not change your plans, however. Remember words do not work with these people, only actions. You are showing him you are a strong, capable, fun loving, and loved person. He really doesn't deserve you and he doesn't deserve you to break your plans.

If tomorrow night is the only night he will tell you whatever it is he wants to say, then FTG. When you first met him, and he asked you out, and you had other plans, if he didn't try any harder than that, would you have continued to date him?

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 3:06 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)]

Jrazz posted 9/3/2013 16:30 PM

You are not a bitch by declining, no matter what guilt comes over you or how he responds. Remember that.

(Easy advice to give, hard to follow! )

(((sbt)))