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Just a word of advice

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JanaGreen posted 9/3/2013 16:07 PM

You should never ask a woman if she's pregnant.

Not even if she's wearing a loose flowing shirt, or you think her face is "glowing."

Because maybe she's already feeling like a fucking heifer, and tracking her calories and sore from working out and just trying to get a damn drink of water in the breakroom. And that doesn't really help when she already felt like weeping when she got on the scale this morning.

If you're not SURE don't ASK.

And the answer is NO.

lieshurt posted 9/3/2013 16:11 PM

Some people are just dumbasses.

We used to have a receptionist that worked in my office who kept asking women that. Sometimes she would ask the same women repeatedly if they were. One day, one of those women (who'd given birth to twins the year before and had brought them in for a vist) said "No, I'm not pregnant. I gave birth a year ago as you can tell by the two children you see in front of you". The women then said "Oh, having a little trouble losing that baby weight are you?"

She wasn't the brightest bunny in the forest.


JanaGreen posted 9/3/2013 16:16 PM

Oh good lord I would HATE that woman.

I'm just . . . between her and the woman I posted about a while back who told me I was big-boned, I feel like hiding in my cubicle. I would NEVER ask a woman that unless she was either crowning or holding a positive pregnancy test.

lieshurt posted 9/3/2013 16:19 PM

I've seen pics of you Jana. You are beautiful. Don't let anybody get you down.

JanaGreen posted 9/3/2013 16:22 PM

Thanks LH. I'm trying not to let it get to me. Especially since I would rather like to be pregnant, but know for a fact that I'm not.

jo2love posted 9/3/2013 16:24 PM


Pentup posted 9/3/2013 16:34 PM

Some people are ignorant and if you could slap the stupid out of them, I would be there to hold your earrings. But you can not . You are gorgeous!

metamorphisis posted 9/3/2013 16:54 PM

My sister has had this happen twice. She has to wear these awful period costume dresses that make it appear that way. So a patron asked her at work and when she said No she wasn't, the lady replied "Well then suck it in honey!".

My sister is so shy and sweet and that hurt her so much. I am not shy, or particularly sweet and have no problem telling an asshat where to go. I sooooo wish I had been there.

Jana.. people do it to make themselves feel better I am sure.

Jrazz posted 9/3/2013 17:17 PM

I have always had a belly. When you're a little girl it's cute but in HS I was constantly getting asked if I was pregnant. Even at my lowest, fittest weight I had a little tummy. I've gotten so used to people asking me if I'm pregnant I usually jump the gun and announce that I'm not.

That being said, it's complete idiocy that anyone would ask a woman that. I don't care if she's 9 months out and the trademark basketball shape is practically spelling out pregnant. You JUST. DO. NOT. EVER. ASSUME.

Jana, you're adorable. I wanna punch whomever this classless dousche is. People are just dumb sometimes.


kernel posted 9/3/2013 19:56 PM

Oh Jana, screw her. Maybe the response is, "No, are you always this rude?"

peridot posted 9/3/2013 20:35 PM

I've had this happen. Ever since I had my DD I've had a stomach and if I wear the right clothes it looks like I am pregnant.

When I was pregnant with my DD, per my doctor, my stomach had turned to muscle. It's been very hard to loose. I've lost some of my stomach but not much.

Kajem posted 9/3/2013 23:02 PM

My answer for any and all rude questions "why do you want to know?" That usually shuts them up- hopefully it makes them think the next time they want to show how stupid they are.


click4it posted 9/3/2013 23:10 PM

Ugh sorry that happened. I've had it happen to me too and I guess it was karma.

I had assumed this lady at my school was pregnant and asked when she was due. She wasn't. I was mortified. I didn't think she was fat, nor ugly, just thought she was expecting.

Never ever again will I assume or even ask.

I have the hugest belly that makes me look like i'm at least 4 or 5 months pregnant if I don't try to hide it so I can imagine how many people think I'm expecting.

painpaingoaway posted 9/4/2013 06:34 AM

OMG Jana, what a stupid idiotic fucking bitch she was! I am so sorry.

Oh Jana, screw her. Maybe the response is, "No, are you always this rude?"
Love that!

You know I think you are gorgeous.


Undefinabl3 posted 9/4/2013 07:42 AM

I dont ever ask because really, its none of my business if she is or isnt.

I was all belly, and with DD I showed pretty much right away. I got...."Are you sure you are not having TWINS"...."When is your due date again, cause you look like you are ready to pop (at 5 months along)"....."Gosh, that's going to be a big baby. (both were 8 pounds)"....

I hated being pregnant to begin with. Being made to feel like a circus freak or a fat cow just made it all the better

TrulyReconciled posted 9/4/2013 08:50 AM

You should never ask a woman if she's pregnant.

You have to actually TELL people that???

JanaGreen posted 9/4/2013 09:08 AM

She told me that she thought my "face looked different."

Well, I had just gotten back from running in the 85 degree heat and million percent humidity, taken a hot shower, and not reapplied any make-up. So possibly I was "glowing"

I did have on a loose shirt, one that I wore when I was pregnant with my daughter. Not maternity but works as a mat shirt.

So I'm laughing it off today. I know she felt awful after saying it.

I had another coworker ask me this a long time ago, before I had my daughter. I was wearing a shirt that completely looked like a maternity shirt. At that time I really did laugh about it and it didn't make me feel bad at all - but I weighed almost 30 pounds less then, and I had just finished training for and running a half marathon. I was in the best shape of my life and that comment rolled off my back. So my response yesterday is completely about how I feel about myself, and not what she said. You know?

But yeah, I'd NEVER say that to someone unless I one thousand percent KNEW.

dontknowwhyme posted 9/4/2013 10:58 AM

Some people are ignorant and if you could slap the stupid out of them, I would be there to hold your earrings.

Weatherly posted 9/4/2013 20:53 PM

I had that happen once, I went home crying.

I get it, i'm not little. And, I have a fondness for high-waisted, long dresses, to hide my ridiculous hips...but, apparently, that then makes me look pregnant.

Luckily, it has only happened that once. But, I certainly learned my lesson and have never asked anyone else unless.

TattoodChinaDoll posted 9/4/2013 21:05 PM

I was still working full time when I was pregnant with DD4. After she was born I went back during my leave to show off the baby. One of substitute teachers said, "Ohhhh. I didn't know you were pregnant. I thought that was your shape!" That one wasnt really offensive as much as it was weird because I was obviously pregnant. And I worked right up to the end. I left work on Friday, went into the hospital on Sunday night and she was born at 5 in the morning on Monday at 38 doubt I was pregnant. AND she was 9lbs 6ozs. It was all baby.

A coworker (I don't remember who I was pregnant with) asked me where I got my maternity clothes since I was the same size as her daughter who was also pregnant. The daughter came in one day and she was 6 feet tall (I'm 5'4" on a good day) and at least 100 pounds heavier than me! That one made my jaw drop.

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