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Need advice - contacting my dad

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peridot posted 9/3/2013 19:05 PM

I need advice on contacting my dad. I need to get some medical information from him but I haven't talked to him in 20 years. He's never really been in my life that much. I found him on Facebook but I don't know how to start a message to him. I don't know what to say but it's important I try to get information from him. What the hell do you say to a parent you haven't spoken to in 20 years?

peridot posted 9/3/2013 19:58 PM

How about this:


I don't know how to really start this message. We really haven't spoken to each other in 20 years so this message is really hard to write. I don't know what to really say to you but I need any medical information you might have on my brother.

I am facing a life threatening family situation and you are the only one who can clear some things up surrounding my brother's medical conditions and what caused his death.

I haven't spoke to my mom in a long time. What little she did tell me about my brother a long time ago; I don't know how accurate that information was, if she was even telling the truth.

I realize we have had our differences and we've ignored each other for years but I really need you to respond with any information you may have.


Want2help posted 9/3/2013 21:58 PM

I would maybe leave the part about your mom out, you never know what will make people defensive, and you don't have to acknowledge getting any info from her, whether it be correct or incorrect.

All in all I think it is well written and you've done well at keeping emotions out of it.

If you're writing him on Facebook, be prepared for them to ask you for $1 to send it to his INBOX instead of his OTHER folder. Do it. Or else he will likely never, ever see it.

I hope you get the answers that you are looking for.


click4it posted 9/3/2013 22:18 PM


Wow, this is huge and I think you wrote the message perfectly. Be prepared for all the emotions that will arise from this. Do you have some support from other family or friends?

peridot posted 9/3/2013 22:53 PM

This is actually something that affects me indirectly right now but if it's hereditary then it might be something that affects my kids later on in life. It's a genetic condition that is developed from conception.

I'm just trying to get all the facts and his side of things. I don't know that I can trust everything my mom told me.

There's some stuff that has happened in my family that has me not trusting evrything she said.

Thanks for the suggestions on the message. I'm going to edit it.I didn't know that about Facebook.

peridot posted 9/4/2013 20:07 PM

I sent him a message today. Now I just have to wait and see if he responds.

click4it posted 9/4/2013 22:41 PM

Hoping he answers and gives you the information you need.

jo2love posted 9/5/2013 10:17 AM


Sending mojo that he answers.

confused girl posted 9/5/2013 10:31 AM

Just a heads up, sometimes messages go to the "other" folder on Facebook. If that happens, he won't receive a notification that he has a message.

Just in case he doesn't reply, it may be because he didn't know he had a message.

peridot posted 9/5/2013 13:08 PM

Thanks, I paid a $1 so it would go in his inbox instead of his other.

peridot posted 9/5/2013 13:08 PM


[This message edited by peridot at 1:09 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]

Want2help posted 9/5/2013 19:43 PM

Good. Now that it has been sent, you can check (on the PC version only, NOT on the mobile phone version) and see if it has been read. If it has, it will say "Seen at x:xx am/pm:.

peridot posted 9/5/2013 21:28 PM

Good. Now that it has been sent, you can check (on the PC version only, NOT on the mobile phone version) and see if it has been read. If it has, it will say "Seen at x:xx am/pm:.

Thanks, I wasn't sure if I could see that since we aren't friends. Haven't heard anything yet. He hasn't read it yet though.

peridot posted 9/7/2013 00:10 AM

Haven't heard from him and it doesn't show that he seen it yet.

I did get some news from my sister. She got some genetic testing done so we know more what we're dealing with. It does carry on to generations in our family. I'm going to get me and the kids tested when I get the extra money.

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