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Newest Member: SadDadOf3 (46038)

User Topic: Roller coastering
ProbableIceCream
♂ 37468
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like I mentioned in my last post, things have been rough. I feel good some days, but on other days I feel like my life is totally empty/extreme loneliness.

This started when I started to very occasionally be able to do not just social things, but social things where I feel a connection to people present, or I feel accepted.. something meaningful.

I also feel kind of upset at going through so much numbness before.

It's like part of me has woken up and is not very happy.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 852 | Registered: Nov 2012
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the fact that you recognize the coaster ride is a positive. It's just a result of the reality of your situation. We've all been there, and sometimes still are there, but we know that this ride is a part of the healing process.

As I think you already realize, it does get better, but it just takes time...

Push yourself to be social when you can, back off when you can't. It will start to balance out. ((Hugs))


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4715 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
ProbableIceCream
♂ 37468
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So this is normal?


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 852 | Registered: Nov 2012
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Incredibly normal. You experienced a disaster. No matter how well you handled it while going through it, there are aftershocks and they'll pop up when you least expect it. Stupid little things will get to you and then all the negative thoughts, feelings, why the fuck did this happen, will come rolling back over you.

Processing all of this so it's not really a present thing in your life takes time. But it does get better.


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3206 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very normal. Just because you have a divorce final, doesn't mean all the infidelity and loss of the marriage go away.
When I go through a dip, it usually mean I'm processing leftover issues. Many of them I shoved to the side during D/S because I had biggier problems to deal with during that period.Surprise they pop back into my life !ugh.
I will say as time goes forward,the dips are much less severe and I handle them better.
Hugs
Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 2:09 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also feel kind of upset at going through so much numbness before.

It's like part of me has woken up and is not very happy.

Oh man I can so relate to this. Two little sentences that capture and express so much.

I'm not sure if you mean pre or post DD but in my case it was both.

I've been reading "Journey from Abandonment to Healing" and the anger at self is pretty common.

I'm pissed off that I wasted so much time beating a dead horse. I'm pissed off that I'm still mourning. I'm pissed off that this has stirred up a bunch of unresolved stuff I didn't ever really want to face.

Like that saying "I've learned a lot and I'm hopeful to be grateful for the lessons one day".


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5735 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 6

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