So, after giving so many chances and being apologized to I thought I would write down all the times I have caught him out and it will be easier for me to realize and move on. Comments, thoughts, advice is welcome from everyone here.
So we get engaged in 2009, everything is blissful and we move abroad together.
- 2011, I find a flirty conversation between him and a woman that lived in our home country and her mentioning that she would never have done what she did if she knew he was serious with me. I ask what she meant, he shrugs t off that it was harmless flirting that went on and she felt bad. To this day I dont know what happened and cant remember the name to even contact and ask her.
-A few months later I see a search on the internet, and saved picture on his laptop of a young blonde girl in a suggestive pose. The search was, “woman to f*ck in the city we were living”. He shrugs it off that he saw it on a billboard and wanted to know what it was and that the picture was just somehow downloaded.
We move on and move to another country for his job and I forgive because i have no real proof. Fast forward to last year. We finally set a date for our wedding for this year June.
-He starts going out alot, comes home at 5:30 in the morning one night and says his colleague lost her bag and they were all searching for it. I knew something was a miss. So I start to get suspicious.
This year I see a message on Valentines day from another woman as the clock strikes 12, saying “Happy valentines day, honey”. He dismisses it as a childhood friend from school that lives on another continent and is married with kids so I should not worry.
-March, I find actual proof of a PA with a woman at work. We call off the wedding.This is not the same woman that messaged him on Valentines.
-After tears and all I decide to perhaps give him another chance, few months down the line, I find emails between him and OW that he had PA with after he told me there was NC.Of course I flip
-I figure out his passwords to his social network sites and find 3 woman that he is speaking inappropriately to in a sexual manner and them reciprocating. Nothing physical comes out of it
-I still stay! He decides to move to yet another country I say no, Im staying where I am with my job. So he says he wanst me to think about it and eventually join him. Now after all the confrontations, he changed all his passwords. Which he shouldn’t have because that shows hes hiding something. Anyway, I figure them out again and low and behold, there he is again, speaking suggestively to random woman on his facebook!He then tells them to rather message him on an app that he has on his phone and deletes all messages on his facebook account(Incase I access it on his phone im guessing) I haven’t told him I have been snooping. Then last night, I noticed hes downloaded an app on his phone that hides when he is online, this is after me confronting him about why he is always online at odd ours of the morning and wanting to know who he has been speaking to.
I know this is a lost cause and I don’t know why I keep going back for more, but I need to see it, read it and realize this is not healthy!This man does not love me!
Oh and his use of internet porn is way over the top! How did I not see this earlier in our relationship???