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SI, I am confused and need help, please!!!

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Exit Wounds posted 9/4/2013 11:03 AM

Hi everyone,

So I met a guy. He seems nice, a bit older than me. I am 43, he is 56. The age doesn't bother me so much. He is a widower. His wife died 5 years ago and he is definately single.

Here is my question though...
I have not dated anyone for a while now. So this guy is nice. I don't feel chemistry although he is good looking. Is that normal? We only met once so far but talk on the phone for hours at a time. It almost seems that I like talking over the phone more than seeing him in person.He is nice but there is one thing that REALLY bothers me about him. He drives a smart car
I mean the guy is 6 feet tall and talks about how he gets x miles to the gallon. I am sorry but I would not want to be caught dead in that toaster!

He does have a new GMC truck but he won't drive it b/c it doesn't give good gas milage. So when he came to our first date he showed up in that thing. OMG! I just about passed out.
Please no 2x4's. I am not materialistic but a smart car?!

How do you guys feel about that? Would that be a deal breaker?

How long before I should feel "butterflies" in my stomach? Is this how dating is suppose to feel like? B/c he is VERY nice, very honest, doesn't make much money but is a good guy.

I am confused. Guys, I don't even know what I am asking for. I just need input please!

Thanks, for reading

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 11:23 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)]

MovingUpward posted 9/4/2013 11:14 AM

Butterflies could come at any time. I think that you just have to try a few more dates. Learn more about eachother. You may never get butterflies and that happens. Just keep taking it slow.

somanyyears posted 9/4/2013 11:37 AM

..i'm thinking that he is trying to save the world by reducing his gas comsumption and keeping a few more bucks in his pocket..

.. that could mean more to spend on you while he takes you to dinner..

..if he takes you to McDonald's... then you know he's just 'cheap'.. you own a car?.. is it nicer than his Smart car???

..insist that you drive on any future dates.. it just the tiny size or are you clostrophobic in the 'little toaster'..??

..remember, its not always about 'size'..


[This message edited by somanyyears at 11:39 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)]

gma56 posted 9/4/2013 11:53 AM

remember, its not always about 'size'
Good one Smy !!

You must not live in CA. Here they are growing in numbers daily on the road. Economical is part of it but there are many perks driving one here. In my area, people look weird at you in a gas guzzler and shake their heads at you.

Butterflies,Mmmm, not all great romances start out with them. Maybe friendship is only what it is suppose to be. If you enjoy his company and conversation, what do you have to lose by getting to know him ?

[This message edited by gma56 at 11:54 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)]

Exit Wounds posted 9/4/2013 12:04 PM

Hey smy, yes, I have a car. It's just a small truck. Honda CRV. It's nice and nothing special but a guy in a toaster...yuk!

Gma, yes, I refuse to be seen in this thing. Honestly, I felt a bit embarrassed by him driving it to meet me. I was like Oh God, please don't let this be the guy!
I want to feel like a woman with the guy I am with. Not like his mommy who is driving him to school.

Gosh the more I talk about it, the more I realize that this "car" could indeed be the deal breaker...
If he had an average plane jane car, I would be OK but this is the smallest of the small plus keep in mind that I live in TX. Men drive big trucks down here

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 12:06 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]

lieshurt posted 9/4/2013 12:17 PM

How do you guys feel about that? Would that be a deal breaker?

Not for me, but I don't care about stuff like this either. I'd prefer to have a good man in a smart car, than an asshole in a mercedes.

If something as insignificant as his car is an issue and you don't feel chemistry, then go ahead and end things. You are only wasting your time and his by continuing anything here.

She11ybeanz posted 9/4/2013 12:33 PM

Okay....I gotta tell you this joke..and it may or may not make you laugh...but I LOST IT! My dad has this friend who is like 6 foot 3 and is probably at least 220lbs or so! He was at work at a dentist office and overheard a bunch of ladies in the lunchroom talking about a guy that she went on a date with who showed up in this HUGE Hummer and how he must be overcompensating for something else....

My dad's friend just walked by them and said.... "Well, ladies, just so you know....I drive a mini cooper" and then he walked out of the room.

Okay...I'm done!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 12:34 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]

9.10.11 posted 9/4/2013 12:45 PM

Can you joke with him? Give him some crap and ask if ya have to help pedal the thing. Or "where is the rubber band to make this run faster"? Does he eat meat? Just a joke.

but serious, it could also be a "turn off" if he drove an old big diesel pickup that got 12 GALLONS to the mile.

Both are extremes, I guess. But remember, good single people can be hard to find. At our age anyway.

TrulyReconciled posted 9/4/2013 12:49 PM

If you have a Smart Car you will eventually get butterflies ...

Just saying ...

Exit Wounds posted 9/4/2013 12:58 PM

I don't know guys...
I want to feel comforted and safe around my guy not like I am his mommy!

ajsmom posted 9/4/2013 13:00 PM

He's 56, you're 43.

I doubt he sees you as his "mommy."

It's obvious you're not a match.

Move on.


9.10.11 posted 9/4/2013 13:05 PM

Ok, I just looked at pix of smart cars on bing. Hard to find a MAN that would even be caught dead in one of those.

I'm dating a woman that likes to joke and can be blunt, in a funny way. She has the right personality.....and she is from Texas.(yes I give her crap about that too. )

Try it. Just say, "I am NOT riding in that thing again. Lets go get the pickup!"
See what he says. What do you have to lose?

Exit Wounds posted 9/4/2013 13:11 PM

Hard to find a MAN that would even be caught dead in one of those.
Oh! But he defends his decision saying it was cheap and is gas efficient.
I am really thinking this one is a no go. Too bad, he was kind of nice. I just can't handle that stupid car.

I kind of feel bad like I am talking trash behind his back. I really am not!!! This is just a safe place for me to bounce ideas off of. Am I wrong for putting this down here? Is this talking bad behind someone? I really don't want to be mean.

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 1:13 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]

StillGoing posted 9/4/2013 13:32 PM

I know I am way out of my genre here but, man. When I am 56 I hope I have a smart car to beat around town in and a big fucking GMC truck to play with. I would get a black smart car and put a Cylon Centurion head on the hood with the little red BLEEP BLEEP thing and build a ramp to drive it up onto my truck, and I would keep the truck dominating the driveway and when I got home from wherever in the smart car, I would drive it up the ramp of the pickup with the windows down shouting THATS RIGHT KITT HAD FUCKING BABIES AND I AM DRIVING ONE OF THOSE BAD MOTHER FUCKERS. If anybody gave me a funny look I'd hop into the driver side of the truck and speed off blasting the Immigrant Song with my smart car Cylon head in the back glaring angrily at everyone from above the roof of the cab.

Sorry. I'll go away now.

Crescita posted 9/4/2013 13:43 PM

Still Going

I'm with ajsmom, move on. Your values are a mismatch.

That said, I would recommend you take a deeper look at what you value, why, and how that's working out for you.

9.10.11 posted 9/4/2013 13:52 PM

Your not talk'n bad about him, EW. don't think anyone is take'n it that way. Just cause you guys aren't a perfect match doesn't mean he is a bad guy. I don't get that at all. Now, if he can't smoke a brisket....drop him like a lead balloon!!!! hahahaha

Stillgoing..........dang you have a good imagination!!! Have you been eat'n some funky brownies?

FaithFool posted 9/4/2013 14:11 PM

Doesn't Mercedes make the Smart Car?

hexed posted 9/4/2013 14:12 PM

OK -- so when I had to drive in the city a lot I wanted a smart car. I would've dated a guy with a smart car just so I could borrow it.

I did date a guy with a mini-cooper a few times. Somehow that bothered me more than if he had been driving a smart car

**full disclosure I drive Diesel truck or TG's vette. ( I thought TG might be compensating for something with it but he's not ) so fuel economy isn't on my list.

wonderingbull posted 9/4/2013 14:21 PM

I dated a woman a few years back that didn't like that I drive a 2001 Toyota Tundra...

I can drive any vehicle I want financially... This woman told my friends that she was ashamed of the vehicle I drive... I dumped her shallow ass...

Funny thing is... She now dates a guy with a Mercedes... I know him and he's a classless dick...

So, on the exchange she got a dick in a Mercedes and I've got my old pickup with a hot doctor in my passenger seat...


woundedby2 posted 9/4/2013 14:23 PM

I'm not sure I would feel safe in one of those Smart Cars. Maybe you could express such a concern to him and hope he shows up in the truck next time?

I couldn't resist posting this pic...

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