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User Topic: SI, I am confused and need help, please!!!
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Frustrated  Posted: 11:03 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone,

So I met a guy. He seems nice, a bit older than me. I am 43, he is 56. The age doesn't bother me so much. He is a widower. His wife died 5 years ago and he is definately single.

Here is my question though...
I have not dated anyone for a while now. So this guy is nice. I don't feel chemistry although he is good looking. Is that normal? We only met once so far but talk on the phone for hours at a time. It almost seems that I like talking over the phone more than seeing him in person.He is nice but there is one thing that REALLY bothers me about him. He drives a smart car
I mean the guy is 6 feet tall and talks about how he gets x miles to the gallon. I am sorry but I would not want to be caught dead in that toaster!

He does have a new GMC truck but he won't drive it b/c it doesn't give good gas milage. So when he came to our first date he showed up in that thing. OMG! I just about passed out.
Please no 2x4's. I am not materialistic but a smart car?!

How do you guys feel about that? Would that be a deal breaker?


How long before I should feel "butterflies" in my stomach? Is this how dating is suppose to feel like? B/c he is VERY nice, very honest, doesn't make much money but is a good guy.

I am confused. Guys, I don't even know what I am asking for. I just need input please!

Thanks, for reading

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 11:23 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Butterflies could come at any time. I think that you just have to try a few more dates. Learn more about eachother. You may never get butterflies and that happens. Just keep taking it slow.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53047 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
somanyyears
♂ 26970
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

..i'm thinking that he is trying to save the world by reducing his gas comsumption and keeping a few more bucks in his pocket..

.. that could mean more to spend on you while he takes you to dinner..

..if he takes you to McDonald's... then you know he's just 'cheap'..

..do you own a car?.. is it nicer than his Smart car???

..insist that you drive on any future dates..

..is it just the tiny size or are you clostrophobic in the 'little toaster'..??

..remember, its not always about 'size'..

smy

[This message edited by somanyyears at 11:39 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4134 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

remember, its not always about 'size'
Good one Smy !!

You must not live in CA. Here they are growing in numbers daily on the road. Economical is part of it but there are many perks driving one here. In my area, people look weird at you in a gas guzzler and shake their heads at you.

Butterflies,Mmmm, not all great romances start out with them. Maybe friendship is only what it is suppose to be. If you enjoy his company and conversation, what do you have to lose by getting to know him ?


[This message edited by gma56 at 11:54 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey smy, yes, I have a car. It's just a small truck. Honda CRV. It's nice and nothing special but a guy in a toaster...yuk!

Gma, yes, I refuse to be seen in this thing. Honestly, I felt a bit embarrassed by him driving it to meet me. I was like Oh God, please don't let this be the guy!
I want to feel like a woman with the guy I am with. Not like his mommy who is driving him to school.

Gosh the more I talk about it, the more I realize that this "car" could indeed be the deal breaker...
If he had an average plane jane car, I would be OK but this is the smallest of the small plus keep in mind that I live in TX. Men drive big trucks down here

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 12:06 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you guys feel about that? Would that be a deal breaker?

Not for me, but I don't care about stuff like this either. I'd prefer to have a good man in a smart car, than an asshole in a mercedes.

If something as insignificant as his car is an issue and you don't feel chemistry, then go ahead and end things. You are only wasting your time and his by continuing anything here.


A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 13841 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
She11ybeanz
♀ 27457
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay....I gotta tell you this joke..and it may or may not make you laugh...but I LOST IT! My dad has this friend who is like 6 foot 3 and is probably at least 220lbs or so! He was at work at a dentist office and overheard a bunch of ladies in the lunchroom talking about a guy that she went on a date with who showed up in this HUGE Hummer and how he must be overcompensating for something else....

My dad's friend just walked by them and said.... "Well, ladies, just so you know....I drive a mini cooper" and then he walked out of the room.

Okay...I'm done!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 12:34 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
9.10.11
♂ 36336
Member # 36336
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you joke with him? Give him some crap and ask if ya have to help pedal the thing. Or "where is the rubber band to make this run faster"? Does he eat meat? Just a joke.

but serious, it could also be a "turn off" if he drove an old big diesel pickup that got 12 GALLONS to the mile.

Both are extremes, I guess. But remember, good single people can be hard to find. At our age anyway.


Posts: 128 | Registered: Aug 2012
TrulyReconciled
♂ 3031
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you have a Smart Car you will eventually get butterflies ...

Just saying ...


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21449 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know guys...
I want to feel comforted and safe around my guy not like I am his mommy!

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's 56, you're 43.

I doubt he sees you as his "mommy."

It's obvious you're not a match.

Move on.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21104 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
9.10.11
♂ 36336
Member # 36336
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, I just looked at pix of smart cars on bing. Hard to find a MAN that would even be caught dead in one of those.

I'm dating a woman that likes to joke and can be blunt, in a funny way. She has the right personality.....and she is from Texas.(yes I give her crap about that too. )

Try it. Just say, "I am NOT riding in that thing again. Lets go get the pickup!"
See what he says. What do you have to lose?


Posts: 128 | Registered: Aug 2012
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hard to find a MAN that would even be caught dead in one of those.
Oh! But he defends his decision saying it was cheap and is gas efficient.
I am really thinking this one is a no go. Too bad, he was kind of nice. I just can't handle that stupid car.

ETA
I kind of feel bad like I am talking trash behind his back. I really am not!!! This is just a safe place for me to bounce ideas off of. Am I wrong for putting this down here? Is this talking bad behind someone? I really don't want to be mean.

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 1:13 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
StillGoing
♂ 28571
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I am way out of my genre here but, man. When I am 56 I hope I have a smart car to beat around town in and a big fucking GMC truck to play with. I would get a black smart car and put a Cylon Centurion head on the hood with the little red BLEEP BLEEP thing and build a ramp to drive it up onto my truck, and I would keep the truck dominating the driveway and when I got home from wherever in the smart car, I would drive it up the ramp of the pickup with the windows down shouting THATS RIGHT KITT HAD FUCKING BABIES AND I AM DRIVING ONE OF THOSE BAD MOTHER FUCKERS. If anybody gave me a funny look I'd hop into the driver side of the truck and speed off blasting the Immigrant Song with my smart car Cylon head in the back glaring angrily at everyone from above the roof of the cab.

Sorry. I'll go away now.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7580 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Crescita
♀ 32616
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still Going

I'm with ajsmom, move on. Your values are a mismatch.

That said, I would recommend you take a deeper look at what you value, why, and how that's working out for you.


“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3533 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
9.10.11
♂ 36336
Member # 36336
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your not talk'n bad about him, EW. don't think anyone is take'n it that way. Just cause you guys aren't a perfect match doesn't mean he is a bad guy. I don't get that at all. Now, if he can't smoke a brisket....drop him like a lead balloon!!!! hahahaha

Stillgoing..........dang you have a good imagination!!! Have you been eat'n some funky brownies?


Posts: 128 | Registered: Aug 2012
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doesn't Mercedes make the Smart Car?


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17712 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK -- so when I had to drive in the city a lot I wanted a smart car. I would've dated a guy with a smart car just so I could borrow it.

I did date a guy with a mini-cooper a few times. Somehow that bothered me more than if he had been driving a smart car

**full disclosure I drive Diesel truck or TG's vette. ( I thought TG might be compensating for something with it but he's not ) so fuel economy isn't on my list.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
wonderingbull
♂ 14833
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I dated a woman a few years back that didn't like that I drive a 2001 Toyota Tundra...

I can drive any vehicle I want financially... This woman told my friends that she was ashamed of the vehicle I drive... I dumped her shallow ass...

Funny thing is... She now dates a guy with a Mercedes... I know him and he's a classless dick...

So, on the exchange she got a dick in a Mercedes and I've got my old pickup with a hot doctor in my passenger seat...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 6001 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
woundedby2
♀ 18522
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure I would feel safe in one of those Smart Cars. Maybe you could express such a concern to him and hope he shows up in the truck next time?

I couldn't resist posting this pic...


Me: BS
2 kids: DD16 and DS19
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7851 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Topic Posts: 54
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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