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Newest Member: Saad (61538)

User Topic: Separation Troubles
♂ 39964
Member # 39964
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted the following in the separation forum and was told I may get better advice from those WS's in this forum. I thought since I recently separated that that was the place to talk. Still feeling my way around here.

"It hasn't been a week yet and I'm already struggling with emotions from my recent separation. After 10 months of trying to R I moved out Sunday at the request of my BS. Although I've had NC with the AP for 10 months and I've shown remorse and self healing/fixing, my wife still is unable to get over the actual A and has become very angry. Here's my issues.
Up to Sunday she and I had great communication between us. Always have. Even up till the end knowing I was moving out we talked/texted all the time about all kinds of stuff. Now that I've moved out it's like a light switch turned off. We talk about the kids and that's it. I'll send her a text now and then about something else and she never responds.
I know she wants to have her space to figure out her head but I sit here and ruminate all day long. Is she happier without me? Does she want to text back but feels like she can't? Is this just her needing to be away and if so how long? Obviously that's a question that only she can answer (sort of) but it's just so frustrating. I'm sad at the mere fact that we're split up but I also get angry bc I'm frustrated that we're split up.
She says that if asked right now if we would ever get back together she says she doesn't think so. But is she thinking that bc she's so angry that she can't see past it? I'm hoping someone who's out there may have gone through something similar BS or WS that can offer advice on how to deal and what to expect.
Another issue is that today was my children's 1st day of school and I missed it. That was freakin hard for me. I'm afraid that this is only the beginning of what I might miss in the future.
I hate this mess that we're in. I hate the feeling of not knowing if we'll ever R again. It's only been 3 days and my frustrations are building. Everyone says be patient. She needs time. Take care of me. Don't think of the outcome. Be strong for you and the kids. etc...I get all of it. I do. But if I'm struggling after only 3 days then I can't imagine me in 3 weeks or 3 months."

Me WS 44
Her 42
Kids x2 G-13, B-11
Married 16 years
D-Day 09-30-12
R for 10 months
Separated 09-01-13

I will never give up on my wife. Never. I will love her forever....

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: new york
♀ 39000
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like she 180'd you. Have you read about that?

You said you get it, and from this post (I haven't read your backstory) it sounds like you do. You're accepting responsibility for your emotions (anger, frustration) instead of blaming BW. Good.

She says that if asked right now if we would ever get back together she says she doesn't think so.

Maybe look at it like this scene from Dumb & Dumber.

She may be saying there's a chance. Hang in there.

[This message edited by 20WrongsVs1 at 11:34 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)]

fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."

Posts: 1523 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: The First Coast
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Red  Posted: 11:49 AM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please use the existing thread in D/S.

Thank you.

Posts: 50805 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 3

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