SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

After reading his 150+ page “explanation,” I am 100% convinced that WH needs to be diagnosed and treated…for whatever it is that he actually has. Despite the fact that SA is not diagnosable, he fits the profile and has long since completed treatment and passed with flying colors. His CSAT even told me that he, “has treated a lot of SAs and that WH showed far more progress than any of them. Relapse, was highly unlikely for WH.” –according to CSAT. His CSAT seemed competent and helpful, but even he insisted that SA was not diagnosable.

I’m glad that WH got everything that he got out of certified sex addiction therapy. I think it helped immensely.

I ask about diagnosis, however, because SA is not WH’s “real” issue, and WH agrees. I understand that there are many, many individuals out there that are first and foremost sex addicts and that they can only recover from a lifetime of CSAT and 12 steps. Unfortunately, this type of thing would not be addressing the real core issues with WH. His are so much worse than SA, and this is not just me saying this. He is saying this. Besides, his CSAT has said that he has completed that therapy and was done with it.

WH and I can look up psychological information about diagnosis on the internet all we like, but, as we all know, how accurate is anything on the internet, really?

WH has been to SEVERAL neuropsychologists and NONE of them even attempt to actually diagnose. Anything. They were beyond amazing in what they did do, they just never attempted to tell him what his actual problem was.

Is it our insurance? I know that almost zero therapists in our area take insurance at all. I mean, we will pay out of pocket if that is the problem, despite having no money. We’ll find a way. But, even then they won’t diagnose. If we DO use the internet to find some kind of speculation of what is wrong with him he hits NPD right on the nose. But, according to the internet, NPDs won’t admit they have a problem nor will they go to therapy. WH has and will continue to do both. He has some of the BP or sociopathic traits, but not as many as NPD-according to the internet. So, he checks off most, if not all of the internet NPD boxes, but since he admits all of these things, he can’t be NPD…..according to the internet.

Is it some federal law that therapists in the US cannot diagnose their patients because of XYZ? I really don’t understand, I’m not trying to sound facetious.

We just want to get some kind of idea of what it is that he DOES actually have so that he can get the appropriate treatment….from a qualified human. Someone on these forums must know how to go about doing that, hopefully, because there are people on here frequently who they or their spouse has been diagnosed with something. Thank you so much.

Our therapist referred us to a psychologist and we asked specifically for an assessment.

It took a month total because it was a busy office. We had a first appointment where we went over everything, our concerns, etc.

Then he did the actual assessment testing (took about 4 hours) and then a follow-up appointment to go over the results.

We got a 21 page report with his diagnosis.

My husband was diagnosed as:

Personality Disorder with 90% narcissistic traits, 90% obsessive compulsive traits (I have NO idea what it would take to meet that other 10%).

Mood Disorder (for him it was similar to cyclothymia or "mild" bi-polar disorder)

Moderate PTSD

He did not get a diagnosis of sex addiction however it did state he has compulsive sexual behavior.

We had to ASK for the assessment however and our therapist was asking for him to be assessed for borderline personality disorder and bi-polar disorder so that gave them a baseline of what we were looking for.

SB, thank you SOOOO much, this is exactly what I needed to know and exactly the kind of thing that WH needs.

What kind of psychologist can do such assessment? Right now he is seeing a general psychologist who specializes in TBI. He has said that an assessment was not an option with her, so maybe he needs her to refer him to someone who can do the assessment, but he can continue to see her for therapy?

This is all so confusing.

when I was searching for a dx it was similar. I called the psychiatric hospital main number and had them direct me to a therapist/psychologist that could dx something. They gave me a number, I called it, there was a waiting period of months for an appt and we went in for a several hour appt and came out with a dx.

But I wanted to add that sexual addictions can be associated with a number of other disorders...so I do think that getting a basic psychological assessment is the best starting place.

Our therapist referred us to a specific one that she uses for several patients. The one we used assesses kids and adults for the county a lot, for child custody cases, etc. That isn't why we were seeing him, but that was a lot of his business. So maybe start there, looking through county resources or ask his current one for a specific referral.

When we had our oldest assessed for aspergers, we also went through a county based psychologist but a different one.

Okay I pulled his report out.

Reason listed for referral: Mr. XXX was referred for an evaluation by his counselor, XXX, because of a need for diagnostic clarification. Counselor raised issues of possible borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder and indicated that Mr. XXX had rapid mood swings.

Tests administered:

Wechsler Abbreviated Scale of Intelligence (WASI)

Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory 2 (MMPI-2)

NEO Personality Inventory-Revised (NEO PI-R)

Post Traumatic Stress Diagnostic Scale (PDS)

Rorschach

Clinical Interview

The psychologist was a licensed clinical psychologist and Ph.D.

Well, there you go. His psychologist "doesn't understand what an assessment is or why he would need one."

No really, is it the state I live in? The city? It's a major US city.

I doubt he'll make any effort to research anything after his therapist said that, SB. I can't (won't) make him, so I guess that is that.

Fantastic.

eta: pm if you have any suggestions thank you

[This message edited by TruthorGoodbye at 11:53 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]