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Newest Member: aheartbrokenwife (61814)

User Topic: Quote from "The noticer"
♀ 39588
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It hit me so hard but is so true!

“If one makes a mistake, then an apology is usually sufficient to get things back on an even keel. However-and this is a big ‘however’- most people do not ever know why their apology did not seem to have any effect. It is simply that they did not make a mistake; they made a choice…and never understood the difference between the two.”
― Andy Andrews, The Noticer: Sometimes, All a Person Needs Is a Little Perspective.

Me (BS): 36
Him aka narcissistic psychopath (WS): 36
Married 17 years 6 kids ages 16-7
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

Filed for divorce 5/8/15

Posts: 326 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 39670
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES. EXACTLY. I already sent this to WH. It's exactly what I've been trying to articulate.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 40095
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is completely right. Hope WH comes to understand it.

BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 253 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
♀ 35215
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just epic

BS/FWS (me):44 Madhatter
WS/BS:47 Serial Cheater
Together 20 years, Married 16
DD(14) DS(11)
DDay(s) Too many to count
False R 7/11/14 Same OW2
"Never seek validation from those who are unworthy."

Posts: 4121 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
♂ 29126
Member # 29126
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is really good! I can't tell you how many times my wife has referred to her affair as a mistake (ONS at work conference, followed by six weeks of talk and texting).

She's tired of me correcting her -- It was NOT a mistake! This really makes sense in light of the tone of her apologies. She expects apology/acceptance/move-on. It's not that easy.

If I want recovery, then I must allow for it to actually happen.
Is it possible that I actually do have all the truth now?

me - husband A46
her - wife A42
Married 17 years
D-Day August 2, 2009
3 kids 11, 13, and 15

Posts: 288 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 5

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