I'm really sorry your is doing so little to help you R.
Have you checked the Healing Library? The link is in the yellow box at the upper left of SI pages. I recommend starting there, especially with the BS FAQs.
To R, you heal yourself. Your H heals himself. Together you heal your M. Your healing is mainly dealing with the pain of being betrayed. Also, BS healing often involves learning strategies for asserting yourself. IC often helps BSes.
Recovering from infidelity is a marathon, not a sprint. The pain is EXCRUCIATING at first, and then it improves to just excruciating for a while before you start to experience pain-free minutes - but eventually you'll recover. The rule of thumb here is 2-5 years, assuming no new hurts, so be very gentle with yourself.
WSes heal by changing the thoughts and feelings that allowed them to cheat. IMO, that requires IC. Also, NC, transparency, honesty, and sometimes (usually, I think, but not necessarily) MC are required. It sounds like your H is doing the NC part, but not IC, transparency, or honesty. He needs to step up - or you need to make those things real requirements, which means D or S unless he delivers.
Read the Library, Read posts, especially in the R & G forums. Consider - that is, think about, because it cam be a very difficult forum for BSes - delving into the WS forum for insight into the differences between remorseful and non-remorseful WSes, but step very gently with that.
You're not alone. Lots of folks have gone through exactly what you're experiencing now, and they'll be along to offer support.
Believe that you can get through this and thrive.