SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Mandilwen posted 9/4/2013 20:50 PM

I just realized I am five years out from DDay. I came here to post about something else, then it hit me. The antiversary was two days ago and I never even thought about it, until now. That's weird because I remembered yesterday would have been our 10 year marriage anniversary. Funny that I'd remember that one because the other messed my life up so much for awhile.

Anyways, my original posting was how his stupid ass is still messing with my life. I tried calling him all day with no answer. I had to get our son's medication and wanted to stop by after work. I stop by anyways and the strange neighbor guy was there. Told me my ex got arrested for a DUI earlier that morning. That's his second one in this state and FIFTH overall, that I know of!!

So he's probably looking at jail time. If he's in jail, he can't work. I cannot afford child care for two kids on my own. And now I can't work overtime to have any extra money. This is going to SUCK!!

Say it with me: Fuck. That. Guy.

Oh, and send me some mojo that I can try and figure out what to do with my kids, lol! Thanks for letting me vent....

Dreamboat posted 9/4/2013 22:14 PM

I am with you -- FTG!!!

A couple of years ago my X told me that "now is not a good time to be a father" rather than admit he could not take visitation because he had to serve time for a DUI. Like I would not figure it out

Stay strong!!

homewrecked2011 posted 9/7/2013 20:03 PM

There is one way to get a little extra money-- and I'm not being personal to you, anyone might be helped by this,,,A lot of people do not know you can change your withholding at work at any time. If you are a single mom, 2 kids in day care and don't make much money, you're probably going to get a credit for child care, a credit for each child, file as head of household and an earned income credit. If you are not putting exempt or 3 or 4 on your w4 you might be having way too much withheld.

There is a calculator on the IRS website that you plug in figures from your current paystub and it will tell you about where you are with regards to owing/refunding at the end of the year. It will say, " based on our calculations, you will be receiving approx $$$xxx (or whatever) in a tax refund. You may change your withholding to 9 exemptions and will then receive about $$xxxx for a refund."

Also, if you are making just a little money, you can make an appt at the Salvation Army and ask for help paying your electric bill, then that $$ will go for day care.

Also, most importantly, apply for SNAP and AFDC right away--and try to get free lunch for your children. By law they have to give you emergency food stamps (Snap) you have less than 100.00 and some other qualifications (like suddenly bringing in less than your bills- I don't know the particulars. You no longer have to take off work for this- it's done electronically and then they interview you over the phone.

I hope no one is thinking I am trying to say anything bad, I'm just saying you are a hard working Mom who is having a crisis and that is what the govt aid is supposed to be for.....

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 8:07 PM, September 7th (Saturday)]

Mandilwen posted 9/8/2013 16:58 PM

I hear ya homewrecked! I did the IRS calculator when I got divorced, so I'm already claiming what they calculated. The school district here encourages everyone to fill out the form for reduced lunches, and to my surprise, I qualified. I also qualified for the state run childrens health insurance, but I still pay a monthly premium.

I don't qualify for child care help. The limit is 170% federal poverty level and I'm at 175%. I was furloughed as well, and lost 20% of my pay since July.

Luckily, the former in laws called me and said they would take care of most of the daycare. Whew! I swear I had/have some of the best parent in laws out there. I let them know I always appreciate the relationship we have.