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Guidance in the right direction

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mbee333 posted 9/4/2013 20:55 PM

Hi Folks,

So things ended with my WSO/Fiancee about 4 months ago and it's been a hard/scary process but I'm accepting that it's over. We both run a business together that is pretty popular and I do 90% of the work in it. Everything is in my name but I refuse to kick him off, especially since he doesn't want to leave, and it seems kind of petty. I know I'm being too nice.

Anyway, we ended up talking 3 weeks ago. He ended up calling me, it was a weak moment, and we talked on the phone. We aren't married but he cheated on me with a married woman (she was with her husband for 10 years) and had an affair with her. I did inform the husband but this affair continued all summer. Anyway, on the phone, he admitted to me that it was over. I have no idea if she went back to her husband or what, but it seems like that is done, for now. He was very noncaring towards me. He told me knew it was wrong to cheat and all the other terrible things he did during and after the breakup, but ultimately felt that I was not the woman he should marry and that it was okay. He had no remorse or sadness for me. He even said if I wanted him to feel remorse, then maybe I should call him up crying. Maybe then he would have some remorse for me. After that, I stopped talking to him entirely.

Anyway, I have access to his old email account that he uses for writing. He's a published author and sends poems and stories there. Well I stupidly looked at it last night and was heartbroken about what I read. He's written several poems about the married woman, their sex life, and all this crap about loss... all related to her and how they can't be together! None of it was about me. Not at all.

It really hurts me that after everything, I'm not even on his mind anymore. For the record, I do know he's probably in denial. For 2 months he was clearly torn between me and her and technically tried to cheat on her with me, and now it's all about her. Also, I know this is 100% over. I even accepted a position at my company (unrelated to the business me and the ex started) that is half way around the world. The contract is 2 years. This is pretty much done.

My question is related to the business. I don't want to quit it but I feel so stupid. This guy did all these terrible things to me and I'm still working with him as a partner. I feel like I'm not respecting myself by allowing myself to still be involved. He clearly doesn't appreciate me anyway. I do not quitting is out of the question for me, but maybe I need to take a break for a few months or maybe at this point it doesn't matter? I think he knows I'm leaving the country, I'm not sure since we haven't spoken. I'm just frustrated at myself for working with someone who I still deeply love, but doesn't give a crap about me one bit. What would you suggest for handling this? I just want to stop giving off the impression that I don't respect myself. I've made some mistakes and probably gave off the impression that he can treat me like crap and it's okay. He even said the last time we spoke that he thinks I love him the most out of everyone in his life, and knows I'm always there for him. This is frustrating to hear from someone who is so selfish and couldn't give a crap about how hurt I've been. Again, we haven't talked for 3 weeks and I refuse to talk to him for the foreseeable future.

jjct posted 9/4/2013 21:07 PM

The poetry of a man divided against himself does not have the power of the simplest tribal song.
See through that, and the answer will appear.

I personally think it's FTN, and START YER OWN BIDNESS W/OUT HIM.
but what do I know?

mbee333 posted 9/4/2013 21:23 PM

Thanks for the reply... what does FTN mean? I just googled it but couldn't find the appropriate thing. Starting my own business would be incredibly difficult at this point, and I would be a direct competitor for the one we started, also with me moving out of the country in a few months, that would also make that pretty complicated.

woundedby2 posted 9/5/2013 01:00 AM

what does FTN mean?

I believe "F that noise" is what jjct means. It's hard to stop peeking into their private stuff, but reading his emails and lurv poems only serves to hurt you. I learned this the hard way myself, and I quit the snooping cold turkey.

You probably need to consult with an attorney about the business, but if this is true--

I do 90% of the work in it. Everything is in my name

--then it seems like it's *your* business, and you can do with it what you will.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 1:00 AM, September 5th (Thursday)]

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