Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Elise (57032)

User Topic: Spousal support hearing next week - and I'm broke
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Friends, I am about to become one of the "uncounted unemployed" because I've been without work for so long that I have exhausted my unemployment benefits. I get my last check tomorrow. I have about $200 in the bank. I'm in arrears on my car payment and my tires are bald and the registration is expired.

I have nothing promising on the horizon on the job hunt and am trying to get some contract work with a non-profit I'm involved in, but the board couldn't make a vote happen and I have no idea if I can push it through or not.

I've tried selling some stuff on craigslist but didn't get a buyer. I need to repost my ads.

And next week is the hearing for temporary spousal support. I have not yet been served with a response to my filing and I don't know if STBXWHNPDPAFTG will contest my request for order. I kinda suspect he stuck his head in the sand. I wonder if he even realizes we have a hearing on the calendar.

I made the RFO based on having unemployment income but I got a nice letter from Congress (sarcasm there - actually from the unemployment office) telling me that since my state is now below 9% unemployment I'm not going to get an extension of federal benefits, and my benefits are now exhausted.

I think I'm going to file an amended request for order tomorrow showing zero income. I'm sure FTG will go ballistic.

He lives in a 2 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood. I don't think he's vacuumed in a year. He started to replace some rotten boards on the back deck, and pulled them up leaving gaps. A year ago. I don't think he's ever contacted the landlord for the lumber to do he repairs. The back bedroom where I set up a bed for me during my last attempt at R with in-house separation is full of crap. Boxes, junk mail, etc. He could rent it out and use the money to pay most of my SS.

I'm going to print out a list of rental shares on craigslist to bring to the hearing.

I am worried about his anger as we go into the negotiations for the MSA on property and debts.

I'm just super stressed out. Grinding my teeth at night, headaches, and comfort eating is only making me feel bloated and fat.

Sigh. I'm sorry if this is rambling, but send me some mojo for court next week. I really could use a break!

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Divorced 11/20/2015
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1934 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry that you're in this situation. Sending lots if mojo your way that things start going your way.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 1252 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 36599
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you mojo for the hearing and, hopefully, a new job.

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This makes me so upset for you! Upset & concerned. I hope you get everything you need & more at your hearing! Plus I want you to get a job soon.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm so sorry. Sending mojo and hope for better days.

Posts: 48003 | Registered: Mar 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you lots of mojo. Don't worry about his reaction; you can't control it, so it's senseless to worry. I know better things are on the horizon for you.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 24434 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Southern New Mexico
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 4:08 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks everybody!

The SI mojo is STRONG stuff. I was killing time between appointments at the FLF office at the courthouse today and took the dogs for a walk, then went by STBXWHNPDPAFTG's place to do an inventory of some things that are stored there that belong to a non-profit I'm involved with. While leaving, one of his employees passed me on the road (they live in the same area), so I turned around and stopped to talk.

Turns out he QUIT! He is the guy who ended up getting most of my job responsibilities, and he was PISSED at how he was treated and the bullshit that FTG pulled at work - losing important papers in the heaps on his desk, dropping the ball on placing orders for customers, spending hours on yahoo chat instead of doing his work, failing to print and mail checks for taxes due, being unable to see the dust bunnies all over and claiming it wasn't an issue, and then telling this guy it was HIS job to fix all the problems FTG had created.

Well, guess what, asshole! He said "NO I'm not going to pick up after you! You create a problem you fix it! Be responsible and take ownership of your mistakes!"

OMG I was laughing, it wasn't funny but we were commiserating about what a jerk FTG is. We were friends before he took the job and it looks like we are still friends although both somewhat the worse for wear having had to work for FTG.

I also got some nice help at the courthouse and my sister is going to come with me to serve the amended RFO papers on FTG as soon as they have the clerk's stamp (I missed the cutoff to file today).

Anyway, convo with friend really lifted my spirits but made me realize that even if I do get spousal support, FTG's behavior is so bad he may end up losing the business and ... blood from a stone... I really need to be self-supporting.

So keep that mojo coming!

A new job posting on craigslist popped up tonight - I need to get my application in for this.... It's a good fit for me.

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Divorced 11/20/2015
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1934 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
♀ 14917
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs and job mojo. It can be so tough. I hope things turn around for you soon.

Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 50
DS24, DD21, DS19

Posts: 1300 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 1:05 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


My landlord is an 81 year old guy who lives part time with me and part time out of state.

he drives me nuts. I work off my rent but he is constantly criticizing what I do, as well as what I don't do.

today he starts in on me about some task I didn't do because I wanted to do it properly and permanently instead of half-assed and over and over and over again and again, because he keeps undoing the work I do, over and over.

I tried to defend myself.

BAD idea. He started raising his voice and talking over me. I asked him to let me finish and he wouldn't let me.

this is EXACTLY the same kind of BS STBXWHNPDPAFTG did to me ALL THE TIME

I can't take it.

I blew up. I raised my voice in return, described what he was doing as "stupid" he said, "You're calling me stupid!" I said, "no, your actions are stupid"

Now, who's stupid, KK? You just fucked yourself big time losing your cool like that.

I have to move. Seriously.

I can't live with a man who pushes my buttons just like FTG. I can't.

It's like the perfect storm, unemployed and soon to be homeless too. FUCK!

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Divorced 11/20/2015
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1934 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well, fuck me.

STBXWHNPDPAFTG shows up in court with a request for continuance because he's just so overworked as a small business owner that he didn't have time to file his income and expense statement with the court.

I didn't have a paystub to prove his income.

I argued that he had been properly served and had been given enough time to respond, and asked for temp orders until our hearing in October.

I got hosed. Nothing. Rescheduled for 1st week of November.

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Divorced 11/20/2015
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1934 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
♀ 39451
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry brokenheart what you are going through, stay strong and hope you can find job soon.
((( BH))))

M: 10 years both late 40s.
3 Children
DDay: April 2013
Legally separated on Oct 2013.
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 203 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 11

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.