SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Thefly559 posted 9/5/2013 06:12 AM

I am in the middle of a nasty divorce which is about to go to trial and my story some of you know but my wife had an exit affair with no remorse and planned it for two years very detailed , she filed first and had me removed from my home , she was very pre meditated and I was blind! I am no longer blind and I am about to see a forensic psychologist , court ordered I am not sure what to expect for me or my kids ! Any advice would be helpful. Thanks in advance

Celticlass posted 9/5/2013 09:23 AM

Sending you hugs. Don't have any advice but wanted you to know someone wishes you well.

When does this appt take place? Keep us posted.

Thefly559 posted 9/5/2013 09:37 AM

Numerous visits over two months for me my stbxw and kids last I think. First time going through this nightmare so just wanted to try to get a heads up on what to expect. Thank you for your response and support. All the best.

Nature_Girl posted 9/5/2013 09:59 AM

Do you mean you're going to have a parenting evaluation? There are several of us here who have had them done. What kind of questions do you have?

5454real posted 9/5/2013 10:12 AM

if I remember your story correctly, doesn't your STBXW have a degree in psychology? does she work in the field? given how well she has set everything else up, I might be concerned about a conflict of interest with the forensic psychologist.
look for connections between the two. also, look for connections between th OM and the evaluator.
I would also present my lawyer with a list of the reading material you gave us. what on earth did she need it for?

damn she is a cold b**** brother.

strength

Thefly559 posted 9/5/2013 11:23 AM

To answer your questions no it is not a parenting thing. I did that already , it is a forensic psycologist so it is very new to me. And yes 5454 good memory. She has a psychology degree that is why I am so scared. She is great at manipulation and control. I thank you for your advice and concern and I will definatly bring pictures of all those mind control books I found. Thanks

dmari posted 9/5/2013 11:34 AM

Are both of you going to see the forensic psychologist? In my state, the forensic psychologist is used mainly in regards to children. For example, my stbx has psychiatric issues and accused me of parental alienation. He wanted all of us to be seen by a forensic psychologist so we were court ordered. Then, stbx changed his mind so he withdrew his request.

If both parties can't agree on a psychologist, the court chooses. I hope your stbx didn't chose this forensic psychologist.

From what I hear, you would go through a battery of tests and also be meeting one on one with the forensic psychologist. They see right through bullshit so be straight up honest. I hear it's brutal. I'm curious is to why you even need to see one.

5454real posted 9/5/2013 11:53 AM

is she being evaluated also? I think it might be something your lawyer could have directed.

I cannot emphasize enough that you need to make sure there is no connection between her and the evaluator or the other man and the evaluator. the connection I would be looking for would be something along the lines of having taken a class taught by the forensic psychologist. it's a relatively small, close Knit field.

Nature_Girl posted 9/5/2013 13:00 PM

Now that I've had a chance to do a little reading & learning about forensic psychology, I'm actually scared for you, man.

newlysingle posted 9/5/2013 13:05 PM

I guess I don't really understand. Why do you have to do this? Is she trying to claim that you are unstable or something?

SeanFLA posted 9/5/2013 14:05 PM

Sounds to me like you could turn this on her if need be and prove that she's the one who is unstable. Gee a spouse who chooses to cheat, putting your life in jeopardy with STDs, possibly orphaning your children and then is totally unremorseful. Last time I checked adultery, although not punishable by law for the most part, is still looked down upon by most people including professional psychologists, therapists and judges. Might want to remind her of that.

She's trying to find a way (within her field) to pass blame for her poor behavior. People see right through that.

Ashland13 posted 9/5/2013 15:04 PM

I don't want to generalize but have heard that this is a way that is used to make an abandoning spouse look better.

Perv has tried to do this, as I've complained about before...no forensic psychologist yet, but our trial is just getting scheduled and nothing would surprise me at this point.

I also agree on the posts suggesting that there be no affiliation with WW and the psychologist if I read that right... that would be totally unfair to you.

We have other things going on and something I started to do is get more than one opinion or person involved. It costs a lot of money, but it's our future and I won't be tricked any more. So anyone the other side suggests, I ask for at least one other opinion that I or my own L came up with.

And yes, sending you hugs and peace on this difficult road ahead.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 3:05 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]

persevere posted 9/5/2013 20:03 PM

With regard to 5454's concern I would recommend you politely ask the evaluator if they know each other in any way.

Thefly559 posted 9/5/2013 21:33 PM

We all have to see th forensic psyc. Court ordered by the judge , I think because of my stbxw abuse of me and kids mentally. But not sure all I know is I have to pay for the whole thing! And she gets alimony , child support , lives in our home , collects unemployment from our company , has a full time job in sales and claims no income for two years ! But I have to pay all court costs?????? Wtf? Thanks for all the advice and support you guys and girls are awesome !

5454real posted 9/5/2013 22:34 PM

Are you by chance journaling this?

If you are able to get an unbiased forensic psychologist to look at her reading material, consider the false DV charge and her behaviors regarding her income, wow.

Even at that, will you be able to prove in court that she has a job, yet reports no income?

If so, your lawyer must be rubbing their hands together. Proving perjury the first day of the trial? Wow.

Good luck brother.

jjct posted 9/6/2013 07:28 AM

fly)))
Sending MOJO brother!
You say "you think it's because..."
Can you ask your L?

I'm praying this gets turned completely around to your favor!
It is clearly abuse - of a stripe one reads about in horror books.
Keep us posted.