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could the OW be lurking?

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soconfusednow posted 9/5/2013 11:58 AM

Do you ever wonder if the OW is here & has figured out your username,

just lurking,

waiting for the right thing to appear that she can use against you with your WH?

[This message edited by soconfusednow at 11:59 AM, September 5th (Thursday)]

Painfuljourney posted 9/5/2013 12:01 PM

No, they won't be because they have no conscious or care about how much pain they cause. IMO At least that is the case with the OW in my story. She's a coward who tried to take my husband from his wife and kids. A person like that has no morals or values and wouldn't be here unless she was cheated on herself.

EvenKeel posted 9/5/2013 12:05 PM

Gosh no....do you know how much work that would be?

Not to mention, how many times do you read someone's post and think "I could of wrote that!"? They would be facing that with every post they read (is that them? this one could be there? Or maybe this one?)

sullymeishadomi posted 9/5/2013 12:09 PM

In my case its highly a possibility.

First, she supposedly was cheated on by her second h. If that is true, she probably did find this place.

Second, just recently wh brought up the disappearance of his nice shirts I had bought him on my two trips back home. Those shirts cost a pretty penny on sale. Said shirts were in her closet for a year.

Up until recently he thought he had left the shirts in his country. Just the other day he mentioned the shirts were distroyed and some were given away to a friend of mine.

Kierst13 posted 9/5/2013 12:11 PM

I wonder about that, too. I think if they read the background or profile stories it's possible to find the BS of their AP, especially when dates and circumstances are written out in great detail. Throw in the genders and ages of kids and the length of the marriage, it wouldn't be too hard to narrow down a BS.

It all depends if they care enough to go to the trouble.

heartbroken2012 posted 9/5/2013 12:21 PM

Not a chance for the OW in my life...she is really stupid, no morals, has no regret for what she did that there is no chance.

Im glad. I wouldnt like her to invade this part of my life either. In fact I secretly hope she is back at having sex with men at work so one day she will get caught and fired.

[This message edited by heartbroken2012 at 12:21 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]

IDeserveMore posted 9/5/2013 12:23 PM

I'm thinking like Kierst13. How would they do it. They would have to read posts until something sounded familiar and then read the person's profile.

Or just read tons and tons of profiles.

On the other hand, I wonder if some terms are searchable enough that a goole search would find the profile. I haven't written out my profile yet but maybe someone else could try it and see what it finds.

StepAside posted 9/5/2013 12:31 PM

I don't worry about it, even if my profile was read, it wouldn't match up to the 'story' given by fWH. It was *gasp!* LIES!

[This message edited by StepAside at 12:31 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]

confused615 posted 9/5/2013 12:31 PM

My WH's AP? No way.

But there have been instances here on SI where the AP DID find the BS here...and also,sadly,there have been WH's who have shared their BW's username on SI with their OW...it's exceptionally cruel to allow the AP *that* window into our lives.

Eudaimonia posted 9/5/2013 12:31 PM

I think it's highly likely, also, that many OW (doesnt seem like men fall into this category as often) see themselves as the betrayed when the WH goes back to the wife. I read an article on infidelity the other day that allowed comments at the end and seriously around 60% of what I saw in the comments was OW who felt that the wife "stole" their true love from them. I stopped reading quickly because it made me nauseous. I just wonder if there's any of those nutjobs here posting as BSs because they see themselves as the victim.

SadFlower posted 9/5/2013 13:55 PM

I often wonder if OW is here, too. The things I've written would make it crystal clear to her who I am. But I really don't care.

She might seem like Ms. Wonderful to just about everyone, but inside she's a moral-free alley cat.

(Whoops, excuse me! That's Dr. Wonderful--she got a PhD last year with a lot of help from FWH, and boy does she flaunt it. FWH and I have PhDs, too, but we're only Dr. to our students--Mr. and Ms. elsewhere. We're not medical doctors, after all.)

OW, if you're reading this, yes, I mean YOU!

And TruthorGoodbye, I do think that OW feels betrayed and abandoned by FWH. She's sent FWH two e-mails since D-Day. I think she's pining, and fishing, and hoping to learn that we've split. Both e-mails have told FWH to let her know if the e-mails are a problem. I'm sure she's hoping that they cause a huge rift between us.

devasted30 posted 9/5/2013 14:07 PM

If we want to go by my WS OW, yes she certainly is capable of reading this stuff and putting in her two cents as well, but wouldn't her true colours come out? After all, she deliberately had an affair with a MARRIED MAN. Oh yeah, she was fed the line living like brother & sister....but, come on after 3 years and he's still with her and your visits together are less and less - how stupid are you???????

Josephine01 posted 9/5/2013 14:08 PM

No, I don't wonder if OW is here. But, I have wondered if the man that she is cheating with, if his BGF or fiance is here. Or her first h EXBW is here.

I don't know the current BGF or the name, other than the first, of her new BF. But, I feel sorry because I know there is someone else out there in the dark or feeling B.

Bikingguy posted 9/5/2013 14:40 PM

I have wondered if OM's BW is on here. I have read post/responses that sounded like they could have been from her.

And yes it would be pretty easy for either OM or OM's BW to determine me from post or profile story. But oh F'ing well. I am not altering anything (OK life has certainly changed) to worry about that.

velvethammer posted 9/5/2013 14:59 PM

Oh I hope she finds it because she didn't know he was cheating on her too!

And, we both trashed her on here so I really hope she finds our threads. Pretty sure she'll know it's about her because she effed her cousin.

TrulySad posted 9/5/2013 15:13 PM

I know the OW could lurk on this site, and I'm sure some of them do. Oh well .

For any that do, it just goes to add to their pathetic life and how little they have in their own world.

Do I think they may discover who we are? I suppose it's possible, but we have to remember they did mess around with the man/woman who lied and cheated on us. I'm fairly certain who they think we are isn't even close to who we actually are and our stories on this site.

Remember, to them...
* Our partner is single (he/she forgot what that annoying band on their ring finger was put there for)
* Or we are the horrible partner (I guess we should have left the kiddos at home, to show up in a deserted parking lot to suck their ever-so-amazing limp stick)
* They never touch us, and haven't in months/years, because we're so damn boring in bed (That explains so much, as I sit here rocking baby number 12)
* They have filed for a divorce (cause that's what every spouse does as he/she just purchased tickets for a family vacation).

I could go on , but for some silly reason I'm kinda having a little happy moment knowing some OW/OM find our lives interesting enough to stalk.

Eudaimonia posted 9/5/2013 16:43 PM

Trulysad, good list, but I'd like to add
*They are in an open marriage, but their wife (who is boring and hates sex and doesn't like to go out and simply doesn't like "fun" in general and "isn't likable or capable of having friends because she has a degree in philosophy" doesn't like to know anything about the extramarital sexcapades, so it has to be kept under wraps.

[This message edited by TruthorGoodbye at 11:36 AM, September 24th, 2013 (Tuesday)]

selkiescot posted 9/5/2013 17:38 PM

I think she or my HW might be a lurker. I posted something quite nasty one day about them. Right after I posted.it he called me to see if I was ok. Coincedence? hmm maybe my gut says NO however.

[This message edited by selkiescot at 5:39 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]

Simple posted 9/5/2013 17:45 PM

The thing is my FWH is the one that tried to lurk here. But I did not tell him my username. He did not quite ask but kind of accusingly asked that this lady is talking like you blah blah. And I said "no that's not me" and stayed quiet. He was pissed that I was talking about our lives so publicly. I told him that maybe he shouldn't have written out in social media that he was single or that his wife's a ____.

Jrazz posted 9/5/2013 17:46 PM

Nah, COW shuns the interwebs because it give the feds that much more of a heads-up for making good on some of her outstanding warrants.

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