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FWH and I were talking this afternoon about a friend of mine who says "I have to ask my husband for a kitchen pass!" . I am all for checking with your spouse before you make plans. I don't feel like I have to ask permission, though.

MrSister: Husbands have to ask for permission all the time.
Me: You never asked for my permission, you always did whatever you wanted.
MrSister: Name one thing.
Me: *looking at him like he has lobsters growing out of his ears* You really don't want to go there, do you?

He really makes it hard sometimes for me to not make a sarcastic remark. My sarcastic nature just screams to be let out when he just leaves himself wide open. Its not like I was mad at him or anything and I didn't want to give him a dig, but I am just sarcastic and it is really hard to keep that at bay sometimes.

BTW, this is the man that goes Up North every weekend during fishing season, every weekend Up North during hunting season, out of state hunting trips, trips to Las Vegas, weekend snowmobile trips, all his toys he buys, his Bubba shack, never asked me for "permission" or pretty much never asked me how I felt about any of it. Oh, yeah, how could I forget to mention the OW he fucked for years without my permission.

MrSister: Name one thing.

^^^At this point reading this I laughed so hard I fear I might have peed a little

Well obviously you gave him permission to have a goumada by not telling him he couldn't.

Or you gave permission and forgot.

Yup. That has to be what it is.

Right? I get a lot of mileage out of the head-tilt, one-eyebrow look.

+6 for the SL ref

+ 1,894 for lobsters growing out of his ears

I too have a tee tiny sarcastic nature, and sometimes would have to literally bite my tongue.

The snark would have gone FLYING out of my mouth. I unfortunately don't have filters for that level of crazy.

I admire your restraint, Sister.

The snark would have gone FLYING out of my mouth. I unfortunately don't have filters for that level of crazy.

Ditto! I hate those conversations.

Well obviously you gave him permission to have a goumada by not telling him he couldn't.

err..is that assuming permission by omission?

I can't believe how often they just open that door and by God I just have to walk right in with a snipe.

I have a filter but sometimes the opportunity can't be passed up.

Come on look at the bright side of things, at least you weren't holdind a cast iron skillet or a brick or a bat in your hand when you had this conversation.

I would have just gone with my standard retort of "fuck you" and left him figure it out.

I "Like" all your comments.

Just need to say I love all of you. Thanks for making me laugh out loud.

lobsters growing out of his ears? made me laugh out loud.

Not to kill the laugh 'buzz', but I have often thought about this.

Being married to a conflict avoider, and trying to respect his aversion (*fear*) of talking about his infidelity as much as I can, I haven't really known what to do about these types of 'opportunities' they throw at us from time to time.

I WANT to let it pass for the good of the moment - especially if the day seems to be going well.

But I find myself want to understand something - just like you said - what is going on in their head when they say something like that? Really. Are they trying to rewrite history? Trying to appear to have changed? Or do they really not always 'get' how it relates to what they did?

My response lately is usually a look or just silence - and since I am normally such a talker - he gets the message.

But, "You really don't want to go there, do you?" would work pretty well, too!

I always have trouble with things like this, I am a very sarcastic person as well!

Although, I do mean the digs. He deserves to feel the guilt and shame that what he has done has caused me to become.

I'm almost glad my STBXWH isn't the only one who does that. During a discussion last week I said I couldn't read him. He said - "why don't you just ask?" All serious like. I was like - REALLY?!?!?? YHGTBKMRN

My H said that he never thought of himself as a liar and cheater.

For years.

The thing about these sorts of comments that bothers me is the level of self-deception. Of course that's what allows the A in the first place, but it is important IMO that they become self-aware. My H recently said (defensively) that he is an A**hole, liar and cheater. Well, you sure were, and now you can work at not being.

But I also got a chuckle!

BTW Sister, you are one cool wife. Too bad they sometimes take that for granted.

Ooh, ooh, me too, me too!!!

"I always try to be really considerate of other people's feelings..."

...BWAHAHAHAHA!!!