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Newest Member: Romulus (45761)

User Topic: You're Killing Me, Smalls! (again)
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH and I were talking this afternoon about a friend of mine who says "I have to ask my husband for a kitchen pass!" . I am all for checking with your spouse before you make plans. I don't feel like I have to ask permission, though.

MrSister: Husbands have to ask for permission all the time.
Me: You never asked for my permission, you always did whatever you wanted.
MrSister: Name one thing.
Me: *looking at him like he has lobsters growing out of his ears* You really don't want to go there, do you?

He really makes it hard sometimes for me to not make a sarcastic remark. My sarcastic nature just screams to be let out when he just leaves himself wide open. Its not like I was mad at him or anything and I didn't want to give him a dig, but I am just sarcastic and it is really hard to keep that at bay sometimes.

BTW, this is the man that goes Up North every weekend during fishing season, every weekend Up North during hunting season, out of state hunting trips, trips to Las Vegas, weekend snowmobile trips, all his toys he buys, his Bubba shack, never asked me for "permission" or pretty much never asked me how I felt about any of it. Oh, yeah, how could I forget to mention the OW he fucked for years without my permission.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
hardtimesinlife
♀ 10468
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MrSister: Name one thing.

^^^At this point reading this I laughed so hard I fear I might have peed a little


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6159 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
Holly-Isis
♀ 13447
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well obviously you gave him permission to have a goumada by not telling him he couldn't.

Or you gave permission and forgot.

Yup. That has to be what it is.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11282 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Rebreather
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right? I get a lot of mileage out of the head-tilt, one-eyebrow look.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6653 | Registered: Jan 2011
unfound
♀ 12802
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

+6 for the SL ref

+ 1,894 for lobsters growing out of his ears

I too have a tee tiny sarcastic nature, and sometimes would have to literally bite my tongue.


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14869 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The snark would have gone FLYING out of my mouth. I unfortunately don't have filters for that level of crazy.


"If the path you walk leads back to yourself, you'll never get anywhere." - Master Oogway

Posts: 18371 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Sal1995
♂ 39099
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I admire your restraint, Sister.


Me (BS)-46, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1488 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The snark would have gone FLYING out of my mouth. I unfortunately don't have filters for that level of crazy.

Ditto! I hate those conversations.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24683 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
StepAside
♀ 29826
Member # 29826
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well obviously you gave him permission to have a goumada by not telling him he couldn't.

err..is that assuming permission by omission?


Me 48yrs, king of douchebagastan- 50yrs STD infected bankrupt NPD sociopathic drunk thief
countless A's, he is a predator that targets losers like himself
Last Dday 04/12/2010-Divorcing if/when his cumdumpsters lend him some $ or balls to file

Posts: 1522 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Ingersoll Ontario
imagoodwitch
♀ 23375
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't believe how often they just open that door and by God I just have to walk right in with a snipe.

I have a filter but sometimes the opportunity can't be passed up.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5484 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Random thoughts
♀ 2959
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Come on look at the bright side of things, at least you weren't holdind a cast iron skillet or a brick or a bat in your hand when you had this conversation.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1613 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have just gone with my standard retort of "fuck you" and left him figure it out.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7825 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I "Like" all your comments.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
StillStanding1
♀ 40144
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just need to say I love all of you. Thanks for making me laugh out loud.


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 741 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
selkiescot
♀ 23777
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 6:02 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lobsters growing out of his ears? made me laugh out loud.


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
WhatsRight
♀ 35417
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not to kill the laugh 'buzz', but I have often thought about this.

Being married to a conflict avoider, and trying to respect his aversion (*fear*) of talking about his infidelity as much as I can, I haven't really known what to do about these types of 'opportunities' they throw at us from time to time.

I WANT to let it pass for the good of the moment - especially if the day seems to be going well.

But I find myself want to understand something - just like you said - what is going on in their head when they say something like that? Really. Are they trying to rewrite history? Trying to appear to have changed? Or do they really not always 'get' how it relates to what they did?

My response lately is usually a look or just silence - and since I am normally such a talker - he gets the message.

But, "You really don't want to go there, do you?" would work pretty well, too!


"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy


Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
Ellephantastic
♀ 39833
Member # 39833
Default  Posted: 6:17 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always have trouble with things like this, I am a very sarcastic person as well!

Although, I do mean the digs. He deserves to feel the guilt and shame that what he has done has caused me to become.


BS(me)
WBF = PA
Ow = 19(at the time)
WBF A = 08/10/2012-17/10/2012
D-Day = 24/01/2013

"It was easier for him to hurt me than it was for him to turn her down"


Posts: 80 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Scotland
sodamnlost
♀ 37190
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 6:26 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm almost glad my STBXWH isn't the only one who does that. During a discussion last week I said I couldn't read him. He said - "why don't you just ask?" All serious like. I was like - REALLY?!?!?? YHGTBKMRN


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
catlover50
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 6:26 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H said that he never thought of himself as a liar and cheater.

For years.

The thing about these sorts of comments that bothers me is the level of self-deception. Of course that's what allows the A in the first place, but it is important IMO that they become self-aware. My H recently said (defensively) that he is an A**hole, liar and cheater. Well, you sure were, and now you can work at not being.

But I also got a chuckle!

BTW Sister, you are one cool wife. Too bad they sometimes take that for granted.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1818 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Ascendant
♂ 38303
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ooh, ooh, me too, me too!!!

"I always try to be really considerate of other people's feelings..."

...BWAHAHAHAHA!!!


I have a competition in me.

Posts: 2262 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
Topic Posts: 41
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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