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Newest Member: Swva2015 (46969)

User Topic: not all bad
♀ 40187
Member # 40187
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like I only post negative because that's when I need support, but I feel so much hope when I see other's positive posts.
I have been feeling shitty because of our recent anniversary. I tried talking to him about it and he pretty much shut me down saying that all I do is focus on the negative--don't I think about all the positive---and then walking away. So I wrote in my journal about the way I was feeling not just about the anniversary but about the lack of listening and empathy. I had him read my journal and tonight he met me with dinner and a sincere apology as well as a new journal (since mine was used up).
We are getting there.

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places." Hemingway
Me- BS 35
Him- WS 40
1 child- 9 years old
together 17 years, married 14 years
Dday1- 7/7/13
Dday2- 8/12/13
The rollercoaster of R

Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, September 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like you have found a great way to communicate your feelings to him. I hope this is the start of a good new pattern.

"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron

Posts: 20689 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The main thing that is important is communication - negative, positive, and otherwise. Making progress in communication is a big positive, in my opinion. Sounds like you both made some great progress this week. Thanks for sharing this.

“When we protect ourselves so we won't feel pain, that protection becomes like armor, like armor that imprisons the softness of of the heart.” ― Pema Chödrön

Posts: 10383 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ 39996
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great first step.....why don't you make it a communal journal.....let him write things too. That will encourage even more communication that might be hard to verbalized.

Don't forget to offer up praise when you see him changing, being helpful or working hard at R.....your words will encourage him and inspire him to do more.


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!

Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
Topic Posts: 4

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