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So for the first time since the first week after dday I have a MC appointment tomorrow. All the therapists in the Northeast take August off.

I am not quite sure what we are going to talk about since we don't really have a marriage anymore, but the last the MC said to us 4 weeks ago was to take it slow. Well...we are now 2 weeks into separation, and only talking about the kids and finances.

I told her one thing I would like to hear from her is an answer to how she can lack compassion towards me when that is something she prided herself on in the past. I wonder whether she will answer that. I am hoping, but probably it won't happen, that the MC calls her on some of her justification bullshit. We'll see.

Whatever she says, I wonder if she'll be thinking this: Compassion toward you? Why? It's mostly your fault, isn't it? You didn't pay enough attention to me, You golfed too much. You have a lot to answer for, my friend. You basically drove me into the affair. Shit, I almost had no choice. In many ways, I deserved to have someone else without telling you.

That's sounds about right.

I know its going to hurt when I say this, but why waste the money? none of this was your choice. quite honestly it has to be her choice 2 actually proceed to a reconciliation.

anything else will be your fault.

I'm sorry

strength brother

5454, you are correct. I figure that I want to see what tomorrow brings to see where her head is at, but continued MC doesn't make sense at this point.

I want to see what tomorrow brings to see where her head is at

If that really is your only expectation, maybe ok. She's been showing you where it's at. I just hope you aren't looking for that miracle revelation.

I can't even begin to tell you how sorry that this has happened.

I am sending strength brother

No. I have never been a believer in miracles. Her head is pretty far up there right now. Not many miracles in the dark.

Thanks for the strength.