I'm really sorry, August, what a difficult thing to go through.
My ex said the same things to me whenever the going got difficult and I tried to speak of the A or problems made by him. It began, over time, to come across for me as a cop out by him and he said it very recently again, to boot. Whenever I had something difficult to bring up, that's what he would say.
I think it's also a way to keep running on his part.
Nights are hard here, too...the stillness and dark make everything seem larger somehow or more important, but I don't know why that is.
One lesson that's helped me and I hope will help you is, "one thing at a time". Not even a whole day at a time, for that's a lot, but one issue at a time and the allowance of different thoughts for yourself -a new box, so to speak-about your new life...this continues to help.
And one positive thing that was told to me is that this can be the end of the hurt caused you by his hand and you can take control of what -and who-you want in your life now. No more disrespect.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.