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StillLivin posted 9/6/2013 18:13 PM

Was doing the 180 quite well. Mostly NC too. Only answer by email or text when it is official...like separation issues, or financial issues.
Sometimes he would reach...you know, "duh, did I get paid yet?" crap.
Last night he called instead of replying in emails. This is just his way to try and see what I'm thinking and feeling.
Anyway, he starts off telling me that he can't afford his truck because his SUV costs so much. Yeah, my problem how?
In the legal separation it states he will take the truck. He says he called the bank and blah blah blah.
Then proceeds to go on to tell me that I didn't have to put "adultery" as my reason for separation. Duh, yes I did, we are in covenant marriage and the court won't grant me anything unless I have one or more of the eight legal reasons to file for D or LS.
Then starts telling me how the affair was my fault because of all the YEARS of emotional abuse. Seriously????
OMG, if anybody was emotionally abused, it was me, and I'm not crying and whining. We fought, period. He tried to fight dirty, and he tried to use his brain. Well, I fight dirtier (verbal only) when attacked, and I'm 10X smarter than he is when we are angry.
He went on and on with how I'm ruining his chances at employment and it may even jeopardize his security clearnace. Now let me explain. I put a gun to his head and made him stick his dick inside Shrek the Slut. Oh, and I'm still putting the gun to his head and making him still remain involved with her.
Yeah, I told him this shit, and then I told him that he made those stupid choices, he is still making the stupid choices now, and I'M the one ruining HIM!
Sheesh.
Anybody, please please please tell me what the hell is he trying to do besides play these stupid mind games.
I am NC and 180. For now on no more calls answered, and he can deal with my attorney at this point. Let him try and argue with her. She will crucify him.
Any advice on why he is now doing this crap. I don't get it, he left me for her. What the hell?????

justabrokendream posted 9/6/2013 18:27 PM

Ummm - because he's a mf'ing douchebag asshole - would be my guess...

Crickets to him.....

StillLivin posted 9/6/2013 18:38 PM

Oh just
LOL, I am busting my ribs laughing so hard. Love it.
Thank you for that!

sullymeishadomi posted 9/6/2013 18:39 PM

Not to be mean, but if you were 180, you wouldnt have answered his calls. Under his call info, chose vibrate only so you dont hear his calls and they go to vm.

He is playing the victim and trying to get your goat. Why? Because he can. Trust me, dont try to figure him out. Doing so will keep you emotionally vested and drug along by his rollercoaster cart.

You memtioned having him communicate through your lawyer. Thats a good idea

StillLivin posted 9/6/2013 18:51 PM

sully
You are right. I was doing the 180, but came back from a very enjoyable weekend at the beach.
Was feeling good. He had called several times, told myself it might actually be important.
Whatever. Not again.
Thank you for the dose of honesty! LOL.
Good or bad weekend....he ain't getting my goat again!

Ashland13 posted 9/6/2013 19:05 PM

I'm not sure what this is called, but in my experience with Nearly Exh, it's a reaction to the consequences of divorce and of his choices.

He's trying to get your attention, but is trying to deflect blame onto you for what he did...it's easier than dealing with what he did, for him.

What I notice is that sometimes when I get a good long stretch of time with NC, messages start to come about this and that...finances, house. Once I got a "how are you?" and almost fell off the porch. Maybe it was a wrong number.

I also notice that with harder 180, Nearly Exh will actually leave messages instead of text if he misses a call with DD...I do not answer them, ever, ever, ever...it helps me be less vulnerable and appear as if I don't care. It's not easy, but self protection is first now.

h0peless posted 9/7/2013 20:21 PM

Under his call info, chose vibrate only so you dont hear his calls and they go to vm.

You also might consider changing his name to "Shrekfucker McSkidmark" so you at least get a chuckle when he tries to call.

StillLivin posted 9/7/2013 23:27 PM

Oooh H0peless Too Funny. I Made My Cats Scramble Laughing So Hard.
That's Exactly What I'm Going To Do When I Log Off.

StillLivin posted 9/7/2013 23:32 PM

Done. Changed It To Shrekfucker mcOgrelover!!!