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Newest Member: wonkeddev

Wayward Side :
I miss my wife...

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 fdupbigtime (original poster new member #39719) posted at 8:21 PM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013

I miss the faith she had in me

I miss the love she showed me everyday

I miss the love in her eye, and the giggle after a kiss

I miss her head on my shoulder and my fingers in her hair

I hate myself

Even more than she does!

I hate the man I became

I put on a face for the public, and even for her.

I don't want anyone to see the real me.

It's humiliating, embarrassing and disgusting.

How did I do what I did?

Why?

I look inside myself for an answer, but it doesn't come

I pray that one day she will forgive me, she's trying but it's so hard.

I hurt her so deeply...

She says she loves me, but I see the truth in her eyes.

I was so stupid. I always hated people like me, now I hate myself.

I love my wife...

posts: 5   ·   registered: Jul. 1st, 2013   ·   location: Fdupbigtime
id 6478020
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1DumbHusband ( member #40239) posted at 10:08 PM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013

I can't agree more. It just means we have to appreciate our BS more than ever for every day we have from now on and continuously work to show them how remorseful we are! And not just until the happiness comes back (if it does) but for the rest of our lives!

Me: FWH 34
Her: 31 and deserving much better than I've given her (CCW82)
Married 4 years, together 6 years.
D-Day: June 17th, 2013
"Don't give up. You're married until you're not. You never know what tomorrow will bring."

posts: 123   ·   registered: Aug. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Dallas
id 6478103
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hardlessons ( member #35025) posted at 10:20 PM on Saturday, September 7th, 2013

I remember telling my BW how much I loved her too and I understand, but

I look inside myself for an answer, but it doesn't come

Is a bigger issue than whether you love her or not. I have been at this for a year and a half and still don't have it all down and shit together, so just word to the wise, pining away will get you nothing, finding out what/why/how you did what you did is the only way to a healthy life.

Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

posts: 955   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2012   ·   location: Arizona
id 6478118
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