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Newest Member: Alone73 (46062)

User Topic: I assumed (incorrectly) that he would feed kids at visitation
homewrecked2011
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is really laughable.

Son comes home from visitation at 8:00pm and says he's hungry. He said Dad didn't have time to feed him. WTF???

I just shake my head at his stupidity....

Do they really have to be TOLD to feed their children during visitation from 5-8pm?


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2391 | Registered: Jan 2012
Ariabook
♀ 39669
Member # 39669
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like my DD's dad. Kool aid and Cheetos, that was his definition of a meal.

Have you called/emailed him yet?


Separated
Wants nothing to do with our daughter
No Contact

Posts: 75 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Newwhere
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTF? That is disgraceful. What were they doing that he didn't have time to feed him?


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5738 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here. He won't feed the kids. Sometimes when he has them all day he'll get them a small pack of French Fries, but really it's a rare occasion when he feeds them an actual meal. My kids come home so tired & with such low blood sugar they're trembling & crying.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10158 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
kg201
♂ 40173
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask your attorney what the best way to document this might be. Would a journal that records the neglect hold up in court?


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 805 | Registered: Aug 2013
suckstobeme
♀ 30853
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yes, that's par for the course. My kids have told me they have had chips for dinner, fries as a meal, and ramen noodles for supper on major holidays.

In addition to the culinary issues, my exwh has problems keeping up with their hygeine as well. I've actually had to remind him to give them a bath or shower after he's had them for an entire weekend. He would want to drop them at seven thirty or eight at night on a Sunday, knowing full well they hadn't been bathed and needed to wind down for bed and school the next day. He actually seemed surprised when I refused to accept that although they hadn't bathed, they had gone swimming so, according to him, they did rinse off any dirt. Um, no shit for brains. Last I looked, pools don't involve shampoo and soap.

They have head up the ass syndrome and this will be just one more way that the kids will see the difference between the real parent and a sick version of a fun uncle.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2913 | Registered: Jan 2011
Heal&Deal
♀ 30910
Member # 30910
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, they have to be told. It is impossible to know why, but they do.

Interestingly, it seems that how they are told is important. Things like, "hey, jackass, feed your kid at mealtimes," somehow don't go over well. Truthfully, for my X, I have to veil it. If I told him directly, "Please remember to feed DS," X would act indignant and offended. Instead, it has to be veiled.


Posts: 921 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: USA
Gottagetthrough
27325
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 1:19 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had my 1 year old screaming BA BA at me the whole ride home after visitation.

I know my WH is clueless, but I would have thought OW would have remembered to feed my kids

once my 4 year old came home crying saying hat ow wouldn't feed her, they had 1 hot dog left and ow said they needed to save that for daddy.


Posts: 1437 | Registered: Jan 2010
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

when my daughter was I baby, I used to assume that he would actually change her diaper.

Silly me.

So I used to take a marker, and write the time under the tape of the diaper I put on her before she left. Sure enough, she'd come home hours later with the same diaper on.

Then, when she got older and was using the toilet, she'd come home with an ass crack full of shit, because he wouldn't wipe her.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3573 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Chrysalis123
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Npd-x would not fed them either. He often would buy food for himself and make the kids buy their own. If the kids didn't have money they would not eat.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2821 | Registered: Jan 2010
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ex-shat has no concept of a schedule...if it weren't for stripper whore, teslet would not eat meals...and he *still* doesn't get fed a meal before I pick him up on Sundays. No biggee...I just bring a healthy snack for him to munch on the way home and I have something to heat up at home (credit to this goes to kernel )


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4838 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Ashland13
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Many times, DD has been returned to me in a very unkempt state-I know for sure that she had a hair brush!

Part of it for me too, was that this would be done when she was delivered to my work place, late, with no time to fix her up. The fourth time I made noise.

She also has a diet to follow and for a time was not, so that she came home and was sick once or twice and also slept an entire day to catch up from being up too late too many nights in a row.

She also has showed up without breakfast, as it was morning.

What I'm discovering, if it's helpful, is that Perv has decided this new "new boundaries" way of life for himself, so apparently when she is with him, it goes for her, too...but the rest of the world isn't that way, so I appear the "rules and boring mom".

Long story short, I just wanted to chime in and say that the no feeding your child sounds like boundary dismissal, too. I'm sorry.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2424 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
homewrecked2011
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They have head up the ass syndrome


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2391 | Registered: Jan 2012
homewrecked2011
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interestingly, it seems that how they are told is important. Things like, "hey, jackass, feed your kid at mealtimes," somehow don't go over well.


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2391 | Registered: Jan 2012
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

XH and NW would not feed my kids on Sunday when bringing them back. The drive was 2 hours one way, we would meet at a halfway point. I learned to bring a small cooler full of healthy snacks and have something that could be heated up / made quickly when we got home(grilled cheese was a Sunday night staple for awhile). It made life easier for the kids, which in turn made life easier for me.

I quickly learned to lower my expectations of him, that gave me peace.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5746 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
whyohwhyohwhy
♀ 17890
Member # 17890
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My kids always come back starving on Sunday night, but he has made some progress with respect to feeding them when he has them.

They say he tries to feed them what they call "hair pancakes" for breakfast.

They say he makes them pancakes, which they refuse to eat because he cooks them when he isn't wearing a shirt.
X is bald, but has a very hairy chest and back.

Oh well.....


what did I ever do to deserve this?

Me:47 BS
Him: X, 51 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD14, DD8 divorced


Posts: 1045 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: east coast
peridot
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

During my ex's very last visitation with the kids, before he lost his visitation, the OW would watch my kids while my ex went to work. This was last year, June, so the kids were on summer visitation. It was well into the 100s. She would send them outside,in the heat of the day, without any water or anything to drink. They had to get water from a water hose and it was hot water.

She would give them one drink a day. They didn't get any food until my ex got home and made them dinner. Which was usually a frozen dinner, hot dogs, a sandwhich, etc. They didn't get a drink with their meal.

Btw, this is one of the many reasons the CPS worker stopped his visitation.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
beingmiranda
♀ 32519
Member # 32519
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Email him and tell him he needs to feed child a healthy dinner comparable to what child will eat for dinner on a typical night at home.
Tell him next time it happens, you will file a police report for child neglect. Tell him if he is not able to be a parent, you are more than willing to step up to the plate during his parenting times.
Usually some strong words gets their attention.
Last year I called child services after XH left my son home alone for an hour. He was 7 at the time. That got XH's attention real quick.


Me: now 38
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid mid thirties with biological clock ticking, desparate for a man.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013

Posts: 807 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: NJ
RyeBread
♂ 37437
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that's pathetic.

Food, shelter, clothes are the basic necessities to life. How do you not do those at the very minimum?


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


They say he makes them pancakes, which they refuse to eat because he cooks them when he isn't wearing a shirt.
X is bald, but has a very hairy chest and back.

OMG I am crying!

[This message edited by sparkysable at 11:22 AM, September 12th (Thursday)]


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3573 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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