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Newest Member: Howtotrust (61551)

User Topic: movies you shouldn't watch
♀ 40246
Member # 40246
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wh and I are together for family vacation after a few weeks apart due to work. We had a strained dinner together, and decided to watch a movie. He had "the wedding" worst movie ever post dd. Don't get me wrong was fine, but the affair themes were awful. Husband cheats on wife, lives with mistress in martial home, then has sex with former wife and proposes to mistress, turns out wife had an affair too, isn't this all fun, all is forgiven instantly and they are all happy and friends . Husband marries mistress, and wife is happyp for them. I mentioned something that Wh after it was over and he just grunted in reply..... Couldn't sleep all night.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Aug 2013
mom of 2
♀ 11214
Member # 11214
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me: BW
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.

Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)

Posts: 13392 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: The suburbs of hell
♀ 40219
Member # 40219
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude The Other Woman with Natalie Portman was a bad one too. I don't know what possessed me to watch it.

BS (34)
WS MisterP (37)
Together 14 1/2 years
D Day 03 Aug 13 EA & PA
D Day #2 01 Sep 13 continued EA & PA with OW
Slowly but surely finding my way.

Posts: 177 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Colorado Springs
♀ 39313
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah i'm worried about tv this fall as well. Almost every show I love has some kind of cheating in it. :(


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 363 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((andthen)))) Yuck. I'm so sorry. Not the best beginning for a vacation.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40249 | Registered: Aug 2011
♂ 36857
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't recommend watching Atlas Shrugged. The affair in that movie is portrayed in quite a sympathetic light.

Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 6 (5 and 2 on DDay)
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12

Posts: 1288 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
♀ 37735
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


The Descendants
He's Just Not That Into You
The Dilemma

Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011
Married 28 years/Together 29 years/4 kids together
OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids
Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

Posts: 2478 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ 26584
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jeez it could have been any movie at anytime for me. Not the movie ... maybe just remembering we went to see this movie together. Or we had a special dinner before the movie, or whatever, there is a laundry list here ...

Or yeah it could be the actual movie triggering me. My trigger movie WAS(YEAH !!! Finally, not an IS anymore) Pearl Harbor with Ben Affleck & Josh Hartnet. Read my bio you can pick the similarities.

I also have movies that trigger good memories that make a weepy puddle of a mess. One I have not reclaimed yet is StepMom with Julia Roberts & Susan Sarandon. The movie itself was a tear jerker, but it brought up all the fear I had when my mom had breast cancer, stage 4 I think. She is ok now, it has been 22 since she was sick. At the time we went to see the movie in Jan. 1999 my mom had been in remission for about 8-10 yrs ...

And the movie was unexpected, I mean I knew the gist of the story, but it still caught me WAY off guard. I was sobbing/hiccuping in the theater through the last of the movie. Xh held me(we had barely started dating) He smoothed my hair, rubbed my back, kissed my forehead, just held me and let me cry.

Later standing in his drive way we had our first real kiss, God I still remember every feeling about that night, what we wore, how he held me, what he said, how much magic he made with his lips.

I have not watched that movie yet. Have not reclaimed that one, like I have Pearl Harbor. Someday, maybe I'll look it up on line today.

Anyway, after my rambling and t/j'ing(again, sorry MODS) point is for me a positive movie can trigger feelings/memories as bad or worse than a negative one.


Me former Booger Bear ...
Hand Me Down MatchBox 20
Love Falls by HellYeah

Posts: 19870 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Where's the fucking rainbow ???
♀ 34792
Member # 34792
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hated the Wedding too and was thoroughly disappointed because it had such a strong cast.

Another one that I now dislike: The Bridges of Madison County. Its weird but when I first saw this movie,I hated the whole affair aspect, but then later on in life, I thought I could see how she could feel so torn. But now, having been cheated on and lied to, I really dislike the movie at the moment. Of course, it is going to be on Broadway now too!

Married 5 years
DD 12/31/11 EA
DD#2 12/27/12 PA, started 9/12, ended 12/12
Status: living together due to finances but I feel continued anger and am leaning 95% toward divorce

Posts: 49 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Any movie but he's not that into got me I know this isn't the topic but hunter Hayes song wanted gets me balling because I feel if he wanted me he wouldn't have cheated on me and he signs me this song

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually found "The Descendents" to be helpful. The A is not romanticized, and the main focus is on the destruction left in it's wake.

George Clooney's BS character is a role model for me. He focuses on his kids and family, trying to heal from the betrayal.

One day
I'm gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day,
you're gonna drown in my lost pain. - "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Posts: 3391 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
♀ 37725
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree about The Descendants. I thought the affair was portrayed in a way to show how wrong and destructive it was. That said, I could not have watched it close to D-Day.

The Way, Way Back was a good film, too, but when the scene came with the mother's boyfriend kissing another woman, my heart stopped and my blood ran cold. My FWH let out a little groan. We both sat there as if paralyzed, just staring ahead.

Me: BW, age 69
Him: WH, age 67
Married 22 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA

Posts: 497 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
♀ 23375
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's Complicated was to me funny but WS didn't like it.

The Women? I think that's the name of it, with Meg Ryan as the BS? Anyway it was during the A that WS had the grand idea to rent this one, we don't rent movies, ever, going to Blockbuster was a ruse to call OW, anyway, you never see the WS in the movie but you see the OW and she is made out to be hot shit in it.

BS ends up divorcing WS in the end so I guess you could say there was a happy ending.

I really trigger hard if there is infidelity in a movie or on TV.

A head full of fears has no space for dreams.

Posts: 6597 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
♀ 32753
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Intersection" with Richard Gere
I second "The Other Woman" with Natalie Portman
"Dreamland" with Justin Long

There are a ton of others that don't necessarily portray affairs in a good light, but still triggery: "Match Point", "Closer", "Fatal Attraction", "My Best Friend's Wedding", "What's Eating Gilbert Grape", "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", "The Horse Whisperer", "Hook", "Heartburn"...

I always wanna say "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" even though it's not about affairs... Probably because Angelina Jolie said that she couldn't wait to get into the bed (scene) with Brad Pitt and that she'd tell her kids one day that this was the movie where mommy and daddy fell in love... While daddy was still married to Jennifer Aniston, that is. It's pretty much like infidelity immortalized for me.

Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 4220 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
♀ 26584
Member # 26584
Frustrated  Posted: 6:53 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Notebook worst movie ever IMO ... It was an A, not a love story. Yet it is still considered one of the best love stories. Fuck that.

Me former Booger Bear ...
Hand Me Down MatchBox 20
Love Falls by HellYeah

Posts: 19870 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Where's the fucking rainbow ???
♂ 19505
Member # 19505
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hollywood does not seem to get how painful affairs are or the damage they do. Many more movies focusing on the participants and their struggles than the victims. An old one that was very real and powerful in showing the damage done by infidelity was SHOOT THE MOON from 1982 with Diane Keaton and Albert Finney. If you can find it, well worth watching for one of the rare times Hollywood really captured the emotions and turmoil of an affair.

Posts: 307 | Registered: May 2008 | From: east coast
♂ 37538
Member # 37538
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


It's a hockey movie, but there is a subplot involving the main character inadvertently getting involved with a girl with a boyfriend. TCD and I figured a foul-mouthed movie about hockey would be safe... It's a shame, because without that subplot, TCD would have really enjoyed it. Though the main character lets the BBF beat the shit out of him because he feels so awful for what he'd done, so there's that...

I know we're worth it.
WH/BH (Me-36) EA 11/11-12/11
BW/WW (tattoodchinadoll-34) EA early 2016, PA 8/16-9/16, Continued to 12/16 after discovery.
Together nearly 20 years, married for 14.
Three daughters, 12, 8 and 5.

Posts: 230 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: New Jersey
♂ 36555
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hollywood loves to glamorize affairs. It's like you may find your REAL soul mate despite the fact you're married.

FWW and I have found ourself changing the channel or stopping a movie because its all about an affair. Good or bad we don't wanna see it.

BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 (Childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
Status: divorced.

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
♂ 28571
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nah, it isn't Hollywood anymore than the bodice ripper romances glorify affairs as an industry. It's that some films do, some don't, and it's easier to remember the ones that do because they (rightfully) piss us off.

If you watch the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the WS is portrayed as an entitled, selfish, high-maintenance bitch and as the movie goes along you wonder: wtf did this dude ever see in her. It is probably difficult to watch post dday given some of the more graphic scenes, but in the end the betrayed boyfriend moves on in spite of all the shit thrown in his way, tripping over his own stupid mistakes and even gets the greatest scene in a romance film ever: he yells at his cheating ex that his penis hates her so much it wants to hide, as he rushes off after a failed attempt by her to give him a beej.

Nothing ultimately horrible happens to the WS but it doesn't matter because it wasn't her story. It was about the BS moving on with his life and enjoying it.

There are good movies out there that show infidelity and relationships in an appreciable light like that. It's just that the other kind of films are made because they sell. It's not an agenda, it's a product that people buy. Like reading gossip columns or TMZ.

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

Posts: 7849 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stbx is a serial-cheater who thinks *nothing* of having sex with other women, so the movies that *get* me are the ones where the person is *on their way* to cheating.....but stop before following through because of 'their conscience.' That gets to me every.single.time because I think WHY couldn't MY spouse have been like *that*? (I'm specifically thinking of a movie that had Chris Rock in it.....)

(I LOVE Pearl Harbor....I'm a sucker for movies with great soundtracks and *spot on* casting.)

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 9188 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 46
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