SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Andthencraigslis posted 9/8/2013 09:45 AM

Wh and I are together for family vacation after a few weeks apart due to work. We had a strained dinner together, and decided to watch a movie. He had "the wedding" worst movie ever post dd. Don't get me wrong the.movie was fine, but the affair themes were awful. Husband cheats on wife, lives with mistress in martial home, then has sex with former wife and proposes to mistress, turns out wife had an affair too, isn't this all fun, all is forgiven instantly and they are all happy and friends . Husband marries mistress, and wife is happyp for them. I mentioned something about.how.awful that all.was.to Wh after it was over and he just grunted in reply..... Couldn't sleep all night.

mom of 2 posted 9/8/2013 09:51 AM

MsRukia posted 9/8/2013 10:13 AM

Dude The Other Woman with Natalie Portman was a bad one too. I don't know what possessed me to watch it.

cuppacoffee posted 9/8/2013 11:10 AM

yeah i'm worried about tv this fall as well. Almost every show I love has some kind of cheating in it. :(

blah!

nowiknow23 posted 9/8/2013 11:15 AM

((((andthen)))) Yuck. I'm so sorry. Not the best beginning for a vacation.

nomistakeaboutit posted 9/8/2013 11:31 AM

I wouldn't recommend watching Atlas Shrugged. The affair in that movie is portrayed in quite a sympathetic light.

mchercheur posted 9/8/2013 13:22 PM

Add:

The Descendants
He's Just Not That Into You
The Dilemma

Jen posted 9/8/2013 13:41 PM

Jeez it could have been any movie at anytime for me. Not the movie ... maybe just remembering we went to see this movie together. Or we had a special dinner before the movie, or whatever, there is a laundry list here ...

Or yeah it could be the actual movie triggering me. My trigger movie WAS(YEAH !!! Finally, not an IS anymore) Pearl Harbor with Ben Affleck & Josh Hartnet. Read my bio you can pick the similarities.

I also have movies that trigger good memories that make a weepy puddle of a mess. One I have not reclaimed yet is StepMom with Julia Roberts & Susan Sarandon. The movie itself was a tear jerker, but it brought up all the fear I had when my mom had breast cancer, stage 4 I think. She is ok now, it has been 22 since she was sick. At the time we went to see the movie in Jan. 1999 my mom had been in remission for about 8-10 yrs ...

And the movie was unexpected, I mean I knew the gist of the story, but it still caught me WAY off guard. I was sobbing/hiccuping in the theater through the last of the movie. Xh held me(we had barely started dating) He smoothed my hair, rubbed my back, kissed my forehead, just held me and let me cry.

Later standing in his drive way we had our first real kiss, God I still remember every feeling about that night, what we wore, how he held me, what he said, how much magic he made with his lips.

I have not watched that movie yet. Have not reclaimed that one, like I have Pearl Harbor. Someday, maybe I'll look it up on line today.

Anyway, after my rambling and t/j'ing(again, sorry MODS) point is for me a positive movie can trigger feelings/memories as bad or worse than a negative one.

(((HUGS)))

silentlyscreamin posted 9/8/2013 13:44 PM

I hated the Wedding too and was thoroughly disappointed because it had such a strong cast.

Another one that I now dislike: The Bridges of Madison County. Its weird but when I first saw this movie,I hated the whole affair aspect, but then later on in life, I thought I could see how she could feel so torn. But now, having been cheated on and lied to, I really dislike the movie at the moment. Of course, it is going to be on Broadway now too!

SoOver96 posted 9/8/2013 14:23 PM

Any movie but he's not that into got me I know this isn't the topic but hunter Hayes song wanted gets me balling because I feel if he wanted me he wouldn't have cheated on me and he signs me this song

Gemini71 posted 9/8/2013 14:38 PM

I actually found "The Descendents" to be helpful. The A is not romanticized, and the main focus is on the destruction left in it's wake.

George Clooney's BS character is a role model for me. He focuses on his kids and family, trying to heal from the betrayal.

SadFlower posted 9/8/2013 17:17 PM

I agree about The Descendants. I thought the affair was portrayed in a way to show how wrong and destructive it was. That said, I could not have watched it close to D-Day.

The Way, Way Back was a good film, too, but when the scene came with the mother's boyfriend kissing another woman, my heart stopped and my blood ran cold. My FWH let out a little groan. We both sat there as if paralyzed, just staring ahead.

imagoodwitch posted 9/8/2013 17:31 PM

It's Complicated was to me funny but WS didn't like it.

The Women? I think that's the name of it, with Meg Ryan as the BS? Anyway it was during the A that WS had the grand idea to rent this one, we don't rent movies, ever, going to Blockbuster was a ruse to call OW, anyway, you never see the WS in the movie but you see the OW and she is made out to be hot shit in it.

BS ends up divorcing WS in the end so I guess you could say there was a happy ending.

I really trigger hard if there is infidelity in a movie or on TV.

silverhopes posted 9/8/2013 17:56 PM

"Intersection" with Richard Gere
I second "The Other Woman" with Natalie Portman
"Dreamland" with Justin Long

There are a ton of others that don't necessarily portray affairs in a good light, but still triggery: "Match Point", "Closer", "Fatal Attraction", "My Best Friend's Wedding", "What's Eating Gilbert Grape", "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", "The Horse Whisperer", "Hook", "Heartburn"...

I always wanna say "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" even though it's not about affairs... Probably because Angelina Jolie said that she couldn't wait to get into the bed (scene) with Brad Pitt and that she'd tell her kids one day that this was the movie where mommy and daddy fell in love... While daddy was still married to Jennifer Aniston, that is. It's pretty much like infidelity immortalized for me.

Jen posted 9/8/2013 18:53 PM

The Notebook worst movie ever IMO ... It was an A, not a love story. Yet it is still considered one of the best love stories. Fuck that.

ming56 posted 9/8/2013 19:57 PM

Hollywood does not seem to get how painful affairs are or the damage they do. Many more movies focusing on the participants and their struggles than the victims. An old one that was very real and powerful in showing the damage done by infidelity was SHOOT THE MOON from 1982 with Diane Keaton and Albert Finney. If you can find it, well worth watching for one of the rare times Hollywood really captured the emotions and turmoil of an affair.

TimeToManUp posted 9/8/2013 20:25 PM

Goon.

It's a hockey movie, but there is a subplot involving the main character inadvertently getting involved with a girl with a boyfriend. TCD and I figured a foul-mouthed movie about hockey would be safe... It's a shame, because without that subplot, TCD would have really enjoyed it. Though the main character lets the BBF beat the shit out of him because he feels so awful for what he'd done, so there's that...

2married2quit posted 9/8/2013 22:26 PM

Hollywood loves to glamorize affairs. It's like you may find your REAL soul mate despite the fact you're married.

FWW and I have found ourself changing the channel or stopping a movie because its all about an affair. Good or bad we don't wanna see it.

StillGoing posted 9/8/2013 22:39 PM

Nah, it isn't Hollywood anymore than the bodice ripper romances glorify affairs as an industry. It's that some films do, some don't, and it's easier to remember the ones that do because they (rightfully) piss us off.

If you watch the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the WS is portrayed as an entitled, selfish, high-maintenance bitch and as the movie goes along you wonder: wtf did this dude ever see in her. It is probably difficult to watch post dday given some of the more graphic scenes, but in the end the betrayed boyfriend moves on in spite of all the shit thrown in his way, tripping over his own stupid mistakes and even gets the greatest scene in a romance film ever: he yells at his cheating ex that his penis hates her so much it wants to hide, as he rushes off after a failed attempt by her to give him a beej.

Nothing ultimately horrible happens to the WS but it doesn't matter because it wasn't her story. It was about the BS moving on with his life and enjoying it.

There are good movies out there that show infidelity and relationships in an appreciable light like that. It's just that the other kind of films are made because they sell. It's not an agenda, it's a product that people buy. Like reading gossip columns or TMZ.

gonnabe2016 posted 9/8/2013 22:47 PM

Stbx is a serial-cheater who thinks *nothing* of having sex with other women, so the movies that *get* me are the ones where the person is *on their way* to cheating.....but stop before following through because of 'their conscience.' That gets to me every.single.time because I think WHY couldn't MY spouse have been like *that*? (I'm specifically thinking of a movie that had Chris Rock in it.....)

(I LOVE Pearl Harbor....I'm a sucker for movies with great soundtracks and *spot on* casting.)