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Don't need to thank her for anything

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Pass posted 9/8/2013 09:48 AM

So apart from the whole infidelity thing, there are other things I'm bitter about from our separation and impending divorce. The biggest ones:

- I don't have my default emergency contact anymore.

- I'm flat broke.

- I don't have my walking group friends anymore (other end of the city).

- I don't see my kids everyday.

Sometimes when I'm trying to be positive (it happens once in a while), I reflect on how much I love my new life without The Princess, and think maybe I should be happy she enabled that.

Fuck THAT!

She put me in a shitty situation, and I have made the most of it. My new life is all on me. She enabled NOTHING, and she certainly didn't have my best interest at heart while she was slapping her thighs against her ears!

Yay me!

tesla posted 9/8/2013 10:03 AM

Be happy and thank yourself that *you* are strong enough to grab this opportunity and make your life better.

I used to thank ex-shat that he left me so that I could have this amazing new life. Fuck that. I have this great new life because I took all the piles of shit that he handed me and pressure cooked the fuck out of it till I got diamonds.

Fuck her. She handed you a bunch of fallout shit. You will find a way to make it amazing and you know what is even better? Realizing that you are the one that is making it happen. Awesome progress pass.

[This message edited by tesla at 10:04 AM, September 8th (Sunday)]

laney57 posted 9/8/2013 10:48 AM

YAY you Pass! It's so easy for us on the outside to see how truly amazing you are and what YOU have done for youself and your kids :).

jjct posted 9/8/2013 10:50 AM

I have this great new life because I took all the piles of shit that he handed me and pressure cooked the fuck out of it till I got diamonds.

Goin to the quote thread!

nowiknow23 posted 9/8/2013 10:53 AM

Amen, pass. This life is all yours.

dmari posted 9/8/2013 11:28 AM

EXACTLY. None of this "In a way, I should be thankful that WS betrayed me and my family because now I have this awesome life" BULLSHIT! (by the way ... cough ... cough ... ... I did think like this in the past) Being strong and moving forward is thanks to OURSELVES!

gahurts posted 9/8/2013 11:34 AM

YAY you Pass! It's so easy for us on the outside to see how truly amazing you are and what YOU have done for youself and your kids :).

^^^^^This!!!!

You made the best out of a shitty situation Pass. You too Tesla. And the rest of us who were fed this shit sandwich and survived.

hopeandchange posted 9/8/2013 11:40 AM

Yes, yes and yes!

I do not see my kids every day

I lost my best friend, confidant and companion

Life savings are gone, poof!

And the lies, secrets and contradictions have changed me forever and not in a good way

But bitterness is probably only there due to stbxww inability to acknowledge the many good things I have done for her and the pure destruction her A caused

h&c

suckstobeme posted 9/8/2013 16:26 PM

I hear you and know exactly how you feel. I felt like that for a long long time and it still crops up now and then.

Here's the good thing though - all of the things you mention are not forever. They are here now and not by your choice so that sucks. She did make those things change by her selfish actions. But, the tide will turn, my friend. It always does.

You will find another emergency contact person. In the meantime, a close co worker or relative will do.

You will build your savings up again once this dust settles.

New friends will slowly come into your life and maybe even a few old ones will drift back.

And, as far as the kids go, it's true that you don't see them every day now. But, trust me, you will. When they get a bit older, learn to drive and really branch out with their own interests and hobbies, they will include you much more than her. I have a good friend who is remarried to her second husband. They got together when his kids were well into their teens. His kids did not live with their dad, but he saw them every single day until they went away to college. They all worked out together, ran together, fished together, what have you. He has continued to make the effort and sees how Important it is to just give them a ride when they need it or take them for a coffee. They return to him time and again and count on him like kids do when they have a strong, reliable dad. You are that dad, Pass and they know it.

So, while its all different now and the rebuilding process takes eons longer than the time it took for them to tear us down, it does happen. Never as quick as we want, but good changes show up and eventually, a whole new Pass with a whole new life will emerge.

You've come a long way and you'll go a lot farther.

Pass posted 9/8/2013 17:31 PM

This

YAY you Pass! It's so easy for us on the outside to see how truly amazing you are and what YOU have done for youself and your kids :).

... made me happy. Thank you for saying that.

And you're right, suckstobeme, all this stuff is temporary. I'll soldier through.

Pass posted 9/8/2013 21:04 PM

For fuck's sake, she's an arse!

When The Princess was coming to pick up the boys tonight, we were talking about some "parental stuff". While she was standing there talking to me, I guess she felt that her sweater was a little too short because she suddenly pulled at the bottom of her sweater, stretching it over her boobs. I kept looking her straight in the eye, and showed no reaction, as I continued speaking.

I'm sorry y'all, but that just reeks of desperation, doesn't it? "Look at these! Remember how you loved them!"

She is pathetic, and with each day I feel like I'm detaching more. This will probably make her try harder. Sigh.

I went for a nice, long walk later. I was feeling good, I was smiling, I was thinking about how much stronger I feel. I was also - for possibly the first time ever - thinking that I'm glad my suicide attempt failed.

Shit is good.

[This message edited by pass at 9:04 PM, September 8th (Sunday)]

fallingquickly posted 9/8/2013 23:09 PM

You really have made wonderful progress, Pass.

Nature_Girl posted 9/9/2013 01:16 AM

I'm sorry y'all, but that just reeks of desperation, doesn't it? "Look at these! Remember how you loved them!"

Oh Good Grief!

suckstobeme posted 9/9/2013 05:19 AM

While its hard to see when you're in it and so close to it, I can assure you that everything this woman/child does reeks of desperation. Ev-er-y-thiing.

SBB posted 9/9/2013 09:57 AM

Yay!

I'm sorry y'all, but that just reeks of desperation, doesn't it? "Look at these! Remember how you loved them!"

WTF is wrong with this woman? You wanted out, lady. So.Get.Out. Toodles!

My mental image of her is this bottle-blonde who wears those too short shorts with 'Juicy' on the bum who will soon look like the old suntan loving lady in "There's Something About Mary".

Reason #425367 why I'm happy to be a woman. There just isn't a male equivalent of this shit, is there?

Unless its when they start showing up dressing like punk rockers as a balding 41 trying to hide their Mr Burns skinny/fat body?

Pass posted 9/9/2013 22:27 PM

Bottle brunette, tight t-shirts, short skirts, head constantly swivelling to look for attention.

stronger08 posted 9/10/2013 03:24 AM

Bro your only S for 6 months. How you feel is perfectly normal. Your in the anger stage and that's a good thing. Your next round of emotions should be acceptance. And once that comes your on the way to a better life. Pretty soon all those annoying things see does and her feeble attempts at getting attention wont matter. And it wont matter because you have accepted what has happened and frankly wont give a shit about what she does or says. My suggestion is to use the anger phase to your advantage in the D process. Anger can be a very motivating and useful emotion when going through a D. Like fire it has to be used wisely. KWIM ?

Pass posted 9/10/2013 10:01 AM

stronger08, I've been embracing the anger for a while. Believe it or not, the rants in this thread are the sound of me starting to feel short periods of indifference.

But I'm not sure how I'll ever be able to achieve total indifference to such a miserable, manipulative, immature twat (yep, still angry). Sure does sound nice though!

Williesmom posted 9/10/2013 11:44 AM

I'm just happy to now be in control of my own destiny.

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