Sounds like if he has the funds some home care, not home health, but plain old home care, that you pay for out of pocket, may be in order for him for a few hours a few days a week.
This gives mom a break, and him some other attention. They will do anything and everything from baths, laundry, cooking meals, and trips to the Dr, or store.
If he was in the service, he may also be eligible for a benefit that pays for this.
Nursing homes are expensive, unless he has a long term care insurance policy, he will burn through savings faster than you would believe. The only time insurance pays for a stay in the nursing home is for rehab, to get them home.
if you have other questions feel free to PM me regarding options for care.