Welcome to my pity parade... feel free to hit me with a 2x4 or whatever.
I feel like I'm laying on the ground wounded and WW is just going about life like its every day. I feel like I'm waiting for something from her but she's not offering anything. I'm down and sad. Feel I can't trust her..... don't even bother tracking her shit anymore since she needs to know about everything I do or use to track her shit. Just seems pointless...
I see her sexy shoes, pretty face, dressed up and looking good... all things I loved about her... and see them as tools for her to attract other men. A sweet torture indeed. The things you love turned against you... made to be implements of torture. I hate it.
I want her touch so bad but at the same time I find it painful... full of questions and images. Where is that girl I met? The one who thought I was so awesome. The one who made me feel like she worshipped me. The one who made me feel like a mans man. Where is she? Where did she go?
I'm so tired of the alpha male attitude she has to put off. The control she needs. Knowing that if I take a stand against her aggression she'll just attack.
This isn't to say she's made no efforts. She has really toned down her temper, she is much easier to get along with. We have more good times lately... I'm also down and hurting a lot.
Maybe I just needed to get this out there. I really don't know what I'm looking for. Am I just feeling sorry for myself? Is it because we are slowly approaching the one year mark of discovery? I don't freakin know. This wasn't supposed to happen again.