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sunsetslost posted 9/8/2013 18:11 PM

Tomorrow is my 8th and final anniversary. I could use some encouragement and support. Thank you all for what you do.

welcome14 posted 9/8/2013 20:20 PM

I'm thinking of you, and keeping you in my prayers. I know how hard this is, and treat yourself gently, and keep an eye on getting enough fluids and nutrition to get through this. Many blessings to you.

fallingquickly posted 9/8/2013 23:16 PM


Anniversaries can be tough. Be kind to yourself and try not to obsess over it. Spend time with friends or family if you can. Go to a movie. Make it a comedy. Try not to drink alcohol as that will just make the emotions worse.

And know that you have people here on SI sending positive thoughts your way.

SBB posted 9/9/2013 10:09 AM

I too just had what (I hope) is my 9th and final anniversary. Final S was on the 8th anniversary..

All of the firsts of that first year are tough. I got so sick of thinking "First <<insert annual occurrence>> without him". I don't think I'll be doing that this year.

So far I've found this second year to be easier. Last year the toughest for me was the date we met - I was so full of regret and despair and hating myself for even giving him the time of day.

I don't really have any feelings around that date this year (except maybe a tinge of wishing I had stayed home that night like I had planned).

I never wanted to be divorced either, friend. But it sure as hell beats being cheated on, lied to, disrespected, criticised and basically married to a controlling and emotionally abusive monster.

It gets better. So much better. I didn't believe it when others said it to me but it is absolutely true for me.

dmari posted 9/9/2013 11:24 AM

(((((hugs))))) I celebrated my anniversary last month and came to SI D/S for advice which I took. Be gentle to yourself. Do something for YOU. Have plans ~ cook something different, hang out with friends, exercise.

Ashland13 posted 9/9/2013 12:11 PM

Good luck tomorrow, it a day you can swim in the gulf? One of your other posts said that you had been doing this and it was one that I thought was a little more positive...when mine came at the end of last month, I worked really hard to put some other things on that day and make it not about the real significance...I had DD that day after school, so I played with her for a long time and made a nice dinner for both of us.

In that way, I could make the day about something else.

Sometimes anti-trigger control can be helped by thinking about what we DO have and what we CAN control or be part of, rather than thinking of what used to be and what's takes thinking, but makes this kind of day easier...also helps with holidays, BTW.

sunsetslost posted 9/9/2013 12:41 PM

I stayed at my Parents house last night. I booked a hotel for tonight. I don't want to be around the house. It's not as bad as I had feared. I think I got so worked up about it the last two weeks that I got a lot of it out of my system. It helps that STBX is staying away. Haven't seen her in a month. Thank you all for the support.

Ash: I'm stuck in TN until the house sells but in my mind I'm floating on a noodle in the Gulf

hurtmotherof2 posted 9/9/2013 13:09 PM


I just went through my 10 year anniversary on Friday..It was a tough day but I made it through. Try not to think about it and go out and do something for yourself...

Ashland13 posted 9/9/2013 13:19 PM

Not much use for noodles in TN that I know of,? maybe the shower, lol...but glad you got out of the house-that was a great idea!

Now you won't have the time alone, unless you want to be, and you can have memories about time with your parents. I like that.

soveryweary posted 9/9/2013 15:55 PM

Sending hugs sunsetslost.
The day is almost over!!
So glad it wasn't as bad as you had feared.
Take care.

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