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Newest Member: Anderson78

Divorce/Separation :
He didn't bring them home!

This Topic is Archived
mad1

 GrievingMommy (original poster member #28127) posted at 12:36 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

It was agreed upon that my 4 yr old twins would be home today, Sept 8th. XH pulled a fast one and is still in New Jersey (I'm in Minnesota) with them, and is not planning on bringing them home till next weekend (yea, we'll see as he hasn't given me an offical date).

He hasn't been letting me speak or Skype with the kids. I've only spoken with them four times in the last three weeks. I got ahold of my Atty and she said to call the police in his area to get a Child Welfare check which I did. The police stopped and saw the kids.

After yesterdays text saying I could Skype with the kids this morning, the event last night with the police pissed him off, and now he isn't letting me talk to the kids today (and haven't in a week!!)....or maybe at all this week.

I am pulling out all the stops. My divorce only cost me $400 and all of these changes to our papers/XH's actions, etc will cost me thousands but bring it on asshole.

I'm going to eat this man for dinner. He f*cked with the wrong mother (and children)!

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 6:38 PM, September 8th (Sunday)]

Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

posts: 1691   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Upper Midwest
id 6479205
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damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 12:48 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Oh that is NOT cool.

12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.

posts: 49560   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2004   ·   location: Minneapolis
id 6479224
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 12:52 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Wow.

Fuck. That. Guy.

Can't you have the police pick up the kids and get them?...I know it's difficult because it's NJ-MN but damn, I'd be reeeeediculously pissed off.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6479229
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 1:46 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Can you go get them? I'd file kidnapping charges right now. Have you called your attorney abt this? I'd ask for supervised visits from now on!

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1806   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 6479305
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Griefstricken25 ( member #29183) posted at 1:50 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Wow!!

I take it you don't have a police enforcement clause, that would allow them to intervene and bring them home.

An hour late? Okay. A week late?? NO WAY! You get him, Mama!

Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

posts: 2596   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2010   ·   location: A better place
id 6479307
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Housefulloflove ( member #38458) posted at 1:51 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Since he took them out of state and won't bring them back isn't that kidnapping?!

That is TOTALLY unacceptable!

I'm going to eat this man for dinner. He f*cked with the wrong mother (and children)!

Where is the clapping/cheering smiley when you need it!

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

posts: 541   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6479308
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 2:21 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Yeah, my atty told me to file kidnapping charges if my STBX pulls that shit. Go for blood, Mama!

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6479356
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 2:53 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

(((hugs)))

I am not surprised. The refusal to let you communicate was a "what are you going to do about it" challenge and this is in the same vein.

I hope you make him pay. Good luck with the next few days.

I hope your attorney is prepared to go "balls to the wall" on this!

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6479392
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debbysbaby ( member #32962) posted at 3:15 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Omg! Attorney 1st thing in the a.m. To find out what uu can do. I'd be on a plane to NJ with a copy of my custody orders tonight and I'd go complete with the cops to get my kids back right now regardless of what I had to hock to do it.

-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2011
id 6479431
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 3:21 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Stay strong.

This is just like the first time a batterer hits a woman. What she does that FIRST time is the difference between more of the same or the activity stops.

Stay strong, let your atty guide you. THink like a man and don't let him get away with this.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6479439
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Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 3:36 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

I would look into filing charges pronto about this.

posts: 5485   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2005   ·   location: Chicago
id 6479458
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 4:09 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

One time my XH refused to give me the kids back. I had to go to the town he was living in and get a police escort to get my kids. The police told him to hand the kids over to me or go to jail for kidnapping.

If I were you, I would be going to wherever he lives, go to the police dept and file kidnapping charges. Make sure you have a court order or decree with you because they will want to see it.

You need to do something and not let him get away with this because if you do, it will set a standard with him and he will know he can get away with this in the future because you won't do anything.

[This message edited by peridot at 10:31 PM, September 8th (Sunday)]

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6479504
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ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 4:30 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

OMG! I would go fucking insane!

Call your attorney asap and see what you can do. I would seriously lose my mind!

He needs to be put in his place NOW!

Fucker!

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

posts: 1622   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2010
id 6479517
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 GrievingMommy (original poster member #28127) posted at 5:29 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Oh believe me, he won't get away with this (or the other shit he pulled)! And I meet with my Atty this afternoon to get going on this. I'm going balls to the wall on this.

I texted (they won't answer their phones) that I want to speak to my children. I bet they ignore it like usual. :(

Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

posts: 1691   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Upper Midwest
id 6480074
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 5:37 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Do you have this in writing?

If yes, I would have the police at his door for custodial interference/kidnapping -- yesterday

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6480089
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Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 6:07 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Good luck, Grieving Mommy!

What a disgusting thing.

There's messing with another adult, but messing with kids is a different level, is my two cent's opinion.

This is something that I worry about and don't know how much of it is right to worry about or something like PTSD...but I was told that Nearly Exh found out the reprocussions if he were to pull something like this, and I think that lingers in my head.

I will be rooting for you.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

posts: 3034   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: New England
id 6480144
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 8:00 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

((((GrievingMommy)))) Sending you strength. Hope the meeting with your L brings swift results.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6480330
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 8:12 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

IIRC,several months ago it seemed they were angling for custody...I truly hope that's not what is going on,and the "bring them home next weekend" thing is bullshit.

((((GM))))

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6480345
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 GrievingMommy (original poster member #28127) posted at 12:07 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

I met with my atty. She checked into it and it can't be handled as a criminal case even though he kept the kids longer than he said he would. The papers say he gets a month. If he goes past that month (the 17th), then he's in contempt.

But he's far from out of the deep end. He'll be getting a letter and we'll be pursuing the strictest of changes (i.e instate supervised visitation, etc).

I wish it could come to a head now, but I'll get my day in court and he'll have to answer for his actions.

Argh!!

Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

posts: 1691   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Upper Midwest
id 6480684
default

suckstobeme ( member #30853) posted at 12:27 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

He certainly is not out of the woods. His behavior is deplorable, keeping those kids from communicating with their mother and refusing to answer his phone and your questions!!!

Trust me, a judge will not take kindly to that and he will pay for this. Judges are parents too. No parent would ever want to be kept from the kids and purposely shut out of the option to talk to them.

BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

posts: 4028   ·   registered: Jan. 17th, 2011
id 6480707
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