Thought I'd give you kind folks here at SI a little update.
Things are going well, though this depends on my using a definition of the word "well" to which I have not been previously accustomed.
Our court date is scheduled one week from tomorrow. It will still be 120 days after that until our marriage is officially dissolved, but I'm going to consider myself a free man after that.
I've been able to spend some quality time with my little girl, which has just been a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark time. I'm pouring all of my love into her, and it feels like we're really bonding in a new and special way.
She spent her first weekend at her mother's new apartment, which she seemed to enjoy. I picked her up this afternoon, which was the first time I had seen XWW since she moved out. She seemed to be on her best behavior, so it was fairly painless.
I feel like I've reached a turning point. I'm not happy, by any means, but my antipathy for XWW seems to be fading slowly into the background. I don't think every day about what she did. I don't spend all my spare moments going over imaginary arguments with her. I seem to have come to a point where I can shrug my shoulders and say, "Well. I guess this is my life now." We have a new routine with new responsibilities and expectations, and we're settling into them.
It feels difficult to have to hype up things about the separation to my daughter, like making going to Mommy's new apartment seem like a fun and exciting new thing, but I think I've been doing a decent job at encouraging a positive relationship between the two of them.
Still, it gave me a good amount of satisfaction when my daughter told me that she didn't like her mother's bolognese sauce. Mine is better .
So I'm making it. Five months out, and I'm doing much better than I ever thought I could be. I still need a new job, but everything else seems to be working so far. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it stays that way. With any luck, I'll be able to join the NB forum soon.