Yes, yes, yes...all my fault, too, even when he was long gone and states away, hours away, miles away...you know, the consequences of divorce are now my fault as well?
There is theory that the history of M is changed in Perv's mind (so as not to generalize) because he has to get up every day and live with what he's done and still doing.
His actions have forever changed our lives and he cannot stand to be blamed for anything...not one little thing-unless it's good. Then no one else gets credit. This is so big in his personality that they noticed it at workplaces and called his projects "The Perv Show".
The lies have become part of his being. He told me "it got so easy!" to look me right in the face and lie his fool head off. Then he'd try it on another person and another so that now, it's just a way of life for him.
I would think it's a way of life for OW now, too?
Don't forget, family is not going away for them if they choose to keep their "original families", so it is unbearable to be the person in the wrong-so under the bus we go. No one is immune when Perv is saving face, including kids or people who have been his friend in the past-that's the shame, that no one matters in the end but the self.
Housefull, your post sounds like you wrote about Perv, but he chose people other than us and tossed us away, where 'yours' is saying he wants to fix things. Perv lies to family and friends about current things too, like words I did not say or demands I did not make. He twists things and wants me to look bad if he can fix it that way, even now.
Like you, I think, why do we need the lies anymore? he got away, lets just end the clean up in peace...but NPD isn't that way, is it?
[This message edited by Ashland13 at 4:05 PM, September 10th (Tuesday)]