Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Solidshadow7 (55769)

User Topic: My little girl is 3 today
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had a lovely day - big party at daycare (family and non-daycare friends party is this weekend) with surprise appearances by Tinkerbell and a Pirate who also happened to be master face-painters and balloon twisters.

I then picked the girls up early and we had a fun-filled park visit followed by dinner and icecream at our favourite Thai restaurant (right next door to the old house - we live only 1km/0.6 miles away) then lots of shenannigans at bathtime and before bed followed by a squealing game of peekabo with the kittens chasing our hands under the bedroom door.

A blissful day all up.

The hard part? I posted a pic of her first bath at home on FB and we started going through all of their baby photos on my FB. I forgot how much they love seeing these photos and hearing about the first time I saw them. I forgot how misty the thoughts and memories make me. I'm sad that I find these photos hard to look at. A little angry too.

I was so desperately sad during their babyhood. They were the easiest babies on the planet but deep down I always wondered if all time and energy I put into them caused the huge gulf in my M. I now know it definitely wasn't but still, I'm sad for ever having the thought. For the lost time. Time I'll never get back.

I'm more than making up for it now - even with 50/50 I am ten times the mother I was back then. Patient, engaged, happy, loving. I was those things before but it wasn't always natural like it is now, I faked it a lot.

I know the only way through it is through it but damn - their baby photos and birth stories being a trigger sucks arse. Big.Time.

Have any of you been through this too and does it pass eventually? It has dampened from the last 2 birthdays but I guess I'm looking for some hope that this in particular won't happen come up every time I look at their photos or think of their lovely birth stories.

TBH I'm also a worried that I was a bit hesitant to type these feelings out let alone actually post it. To date I have really enjoyed embracing my vulnerability but I'm not liking it one bit ATM.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5988 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is such a beautiful photo too.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 7:21 AM, September 9th (Monday)]

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5988 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 34714
Member # 34714
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Birthday to your precious little one and congratulations to you for making it such a lovely day for both of you !
My girl is 5 and was just 2 when I had my big DDay- I feel I lost almost one year with her then because I wasn`t functioning as a mom- I couldn`t play with her,sing to her, NOTHING, I was so empty and desperate.
The only thing I could do was reading to her because I can read aloud without even registering what I am reading therefore I had time to play all the mind movies in my head.
And before DDay I felt constantly alone with her and DS , well in fact I WAS as their father had already checked out of our marriage.

Only now I feel the strong bond forming between me and her.
Of her early childhood I have nothing but sad memories and the feeling of utter despair.

" The only thing I have in common with OW is our birthday "

Posts: 47 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Europe
♂ 38122
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you, and your beautiful girls.

Cheating louse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 13 and 16
DDay: Nov 15/2012
Separated Mar 2/2013 after 17 years married. Will we ever be divorced?

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!

Posts: 3119 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

THat photo is so beautiful it has brought tears to my eyes. Happy Birthday to your little girl.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh wow ... I LOVE that picture! Being vulnerable is being strong! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

My DD just turned 18 and we were also looking at baby photos. I chose two to put on my facebook In time, going through baby pictures and birth stories will be less triggery. The further along you are in moving forward will change/evolve how you look at your past. Does that make sense? Sorry.

Bottom line ... you had a wonderful and lovely time with your daughters! You ARE an incredible mommy!!

I SURVIVED infidelity. Me 45, DD 21, DS 17
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2844 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 6

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2016 All Rights Reserved.