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Needing support and prayers and good mojo

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sodamnlost posted 9/9/2013 06:58 AM

I filed last week, WH is still living here though, working on a plan for him to leave. My kids know nothing. We had to get through the weekend since it was my one DD's Bday. Today or tomorrow we will start the process. We will tell them about the affairs and I will move into my daughters room. Once he has a solid plan as to when he will move - we will then tell them about the divorce.

I do not want to do this. I do not want my girls, who adore him, to have their hearts broken. To know he isn't the man I always said he was. To know just how easily he threw us away for some cheap thrills.

MovingUpward posted 9/9/2013 07:21 AM

This will be tough on all. Sending prayers to you and your DD's

MissMoneypenny posted 9/9/2013 07:42 AM

Sending you hugs and prayers !!

lieshurt posted 9/9/2013 08:16 AM

Sending prayers and mojo!

sunsetslost posted 9/9/2013 09:22 AM

Love, strength and prayers to you.

anv5 posted 9/9/2013 13:02 PM

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. Sending prayers & good thoughts!!!!!

Ashland13 posted 9/9/2013 13:13 PM

Prayers and peace to you.

So many changes.

But an end in sight.

FWIW to share, I didn't want our divorce, but it was me that ended up filing because his passive self would have just let us flounder in the breeze of it all. A ways out, 9 months, the grief is still here but the pain is different-it's steady and getting duller, rather than the heady, anxiety ridden days of worry over another discovery or what type of mood will he be in, now? What will we fight over today? That's all gone now and I can choose to shut him off like a light switch if I happen to hear from him, which is rare.

Anyway...also, our daughter is like yours, he was her KISA and still is in some ways, but kids are smart. I think sometimes a kid is smarter or stronger than given credit for and she tells me sometimes the good things about now and the bad things about now.

I never wanted her to finish growing up without a father in our home, but she even notices that there is more peace and sanity and she said she is starting to feel a little safer with my trying to keep to routine.

I wish you well and a speedy road to peace and just wanted to share some of our experience because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's gradual and not always recognizable that positive change is happening, but is there.

And I share your sentiments about being thrown away.

Phoenix1 posted 9/9/2013 13:27 PM

I never wanted her to finish growing up without a father in our home, but she even notices that there is more peace and sanity

^^^this^^^ As tough as this is to go through, your kids are likely already trying to figure out what is going on, and they are creating their own scenarios in their minds. By telling them you will actually be helping them to understand what they already know intuitively.

This is so hard, and no parent wants to break their children's hearts, but when he is out of the house there will be a noticeable decrease in tension overall. They will feel it, and appreciate it. Constantly having to walk on eggshells is not good or healthy for anyone.

Talk to them as soon as possible once you move into your daughter's room because their imaginations about what is really going on will really ramp up and stress them.

Sending strength and mojo to get through this!

Kajem posted 9/9/2013 16:15 PM

Sending mojo

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