I do not want to do this. I do not want my girls, who adore him, to have their hearts broken. To know he isn't the man I always said he was. To know just how easily he threw us away for some cheap thrills.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
So many changes.
But an end in sight.
FWIW to share, I didn't want our divorce, but it was me that ended up filing because his passive self would have just let us flounder in the breeze of it all. A ways out, 9 months, the grief is still here but the pain is different-it's steady and getting duller, rather than the heady, anxiety ridden days of worry over another discovery or what type of mood will he be in, now? What will we fight over today? That's all gone now and I can choose to shut him off like a light switch if I happen to hear from him, which is rare.
Anyway...also, our daughter is like yours, he was her KISA and still is in some ways, but kids are smart. I think sometimes a kid is smarter or stronger than given credit for and she tells me sometimes the good things about now and the bad things about now.
I never wanted her to finish growing up without a father in our home, but she even notices that there is more peace and sanity and she said she is starting to feel a little safer with my trying to keep to routine.
I wish you well and a speedy road to peace and just wanted to share some of our experience because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's gradual and not always recognizable that positive change is happening, but is there.
And I share your sentiments about being thrown away.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
I never wanted her to finish growing up without a father in our home, but she even notices that there is more peace and sanity
^^^this^^^ As tough as this is to go through, your kids are likely already trying to figure out what is going on, and they are creating their own scenarios in their minds. By telling them you will actually be helping them to understand what they already know intuitively.
This is so hard, and no parent wants to break their children's hearts, but when he is out of the house there will be a noticeable decrease in tension overall. They will feel it, and appreciate it. Constantly having to walk on eggshells is not good or healthy for anyone.
Talk to them as soon as possible once you move into your daughter's room because their imaginations about what is really going on will really ramp up and stress them.
Sending strength and mojo to get through this!
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet