So I usually post here when I'm feeling helpless and my world is falling apart. Sorry guys. I should balance it out with some good stuff.
This weekend I was depressed all Friday, Saturday and Sunday. However, within all that, Yesterday (Sunday) ended pretty well. My FWW hugged me and said that I was an amazing husband. To put up with all that I did, and stick around, plus reading all the books and gaining all this knowledge about affairs, sexual child abuse victims, and to wait for her to get off the fog and off of limbo. Not to mention how sometimes she does pull back and just wants to be alone. Sometimes even pushes me away and it's been over a year of hurt on a daily basis.
If anything, she's starting to recognize that I'm worth something. She told me I was a better person than she was. I wasn't gloating, but it felt good that she gave me recognition. I was speechless as I don't know what to say?
How does one really get some sort of acknowledgement for all that you suffered and how do you process it? All the pain you endured, you stuck around, you kept to your vows...etc, etc. What's the prize? Her loyalty back? Her loving me more? I don't know, but at this point I'm numb. All I need this moment is my security back.
Anyway, just glad it all ended well. And now on to another week. Always filled with challenges.