This is a subject that we all face, wether BS or WS, whether R or D or S or what our situation or stats may be.
Lately I've been studying this idea and it's helped as a way to combat the large amount of grief that haunts me still, sometimes.
Some big milestones in life have recently gone by and I did better when the day or event arrived and I see periods of activity on SI with people asking about what I call Anti-trigger control to myself.
Rather than get long with particular experiences, I wanted to share something that's really helped me lately with triggers, though I have the occasional set back still and have to re-hook my fishing line, so to speak and set the reel again.
The crux of the matter seems to be that when a trigger comes, outside forces created by it are so strong that I forget myself and lose track of my own thinking. Triggers are so powerful that they are able to separate my heart and mind again, like the A and other cheating did, and this is what I find for the root of my setbacks. I would love input here.
Anyway, when I can recognize for myself that a trigger is actually a trigger, I can begin to work on it. It can be any kind, from a holiday, to anniversary, to event...lately my triggers can be people like Perv/Happy Pants himself, so this makes me have to think harder and prepare my thoughts, often in short amounts of time.
I guess I will end there by saying that recognizing a potential trigger in the first place can go a long way toward calmness and reigning in our wandering minds...step number two has been to come up with ideas where the trigger can be about something else and not Perv/Happy Pants.
In this way,I was able to see how much of life he had taken over and it was shocking!
I don't know if this will help anyone, but it's been helpful here and I've been able to stop missing events or occasions very slowly.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.