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Kind of kicking this around in my head...maybe I don't have to focus on trusting H if I know I can trust myself. There has literally never been a time when my gut was wrong...even the LTA,I knew when it was happening(got a UTI and yeast infection,H got his ED drugs filled at an out of town pharmacy),but I didn't listen to that voice inside that was telling me something was wrong(H had semi plausibile explanations for it all). The ONS with a co-worker? I knew something had been off while he was on that business trip,couldnt put my finger on it.

I've been waiting for this magical moment when my trust in him is restored. Now I'm thinking I trust myself and let trust in him happen on it's own.

Opinions,anyone?

I think that is all you really can do. Trust isn't really a decision. You can try to decide to trust, or I have, but I failed miserably. I don't and won't trust a word he says for a very indefinite amount of time.

Sorry for the double post!!

[This message edited by SpiderGrl at 3:11 PM, September 9th (Monday)]

Yes! I think you are spot on. That is a good place to reach Well done.

Yes, just focus on trusting yourself. Not only that, focus on making yourself happy. Marriage takes both parties but each has to be able to make themselves happy before they can make the other happy.

Sounds right to me, too.

T/J - ED drugs at 40? When I got hit at 50 (and, boy, I wish Viagra had been available then!), it turned out I had some sort of curable infection that greatly enlarged my prostate. Has your H looked into this with his doc?

[This message edited by sisoon at 4:55 PM, September 9th (Monday)]

H has blood circulation issues due to high blood pressure,and has for several years. ED drugs have been a godsend,but they're a balancing act with his other meds.