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tabitha95 (original poster member #22033) posted at 10:45 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013
When EX and I separated and divorced, we were one of the few sets of divorced parents.
Now that DS13 is in 8th grade, I just heard about several divorces underway.
Do parents tend to wait until their children are "older"?
I am a bit heart-broken over one of them. It looks like my friend cheated on her husband and moved out. I idolized their marriage. He is such an involved father, I was in awe of how lucky she had it. Apparently, she wasn't feeling very lucky at all.
It's so sad to me. I guess deep down, I am a romantic that wants to believe that the ideal of mom, dad, and kids can all be happy.
BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).
tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 11:30 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013
Last year, when I was acquainting my DS #2's first grade teacher with our personal circumstances, she told me that he would not be alone for very long-- that my kids would see a wave of divorces as they got older; XWH and I just got divorced on the earlier end.
I don't know if people deliberately wait unless you mean wait until the kids are graduated from high school and out of the house-- then yes, I think that some do opt to wait until that point. I don't have any statistics about the average age of people who divorce (or how old their kids typically are), but when I was a kid, I don't think I knew anyone whose parents were divorced when I was in elementary school. By the time I got to high school, I knew several, had friends from blended families, etc.
ETA: Your story about your friend is really sad, but it also illustrates how we can look at other families/marriages and think that they have it made, but we really don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I know that I romanticize other people and their relationships way too much. I'm sure that many people have been shocked to learn about my divorce as well since I'm sure that I also appeared to "have it all."
[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 5:31 PM, September 9th (Monday)]
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
tabitha95 (original poster member #22033) posted at 12:12 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
People were shocked about mine. EX and I were at a school party together, being room parents on the last day of school, then that night I found the text to the MOW that resulted in d-day #2 and immediate separation.
BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 12:00 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.
It's like when you decide on buying a car and then you see that car everywhere. Or when you are trying to have a baby and everyone is pregnant. It's one of those things your brain has become programmed to notice.
Hugs though it doesn't make it any easier.
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 1:47 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.
^^^This. Once I filed I noticed all the divorced people and people currently getting divorced at work. Never noticed it before I joined the ranks.
D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!
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