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Newest Member: needtounderstand (48048)

User Topic: Jr High hit with tons of divorces
tabitha95
♀ 22033
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When EX and I separated and divorced, we were one of the few sets of divorced parents.

Now that DS13 is in 8th grade, I just heard about several divorces underway.

Do parents tend to wait until their children are "older"?

I am a bit heart-broken over one of them. It looks like my friend cheated on her husband and moved out. I idolized their marriage. He is such an involved father, I was in awe of how lucky she had it. Apparently, she wasn't feeling very lucky at all.

It's so sad to me. I guess deep down, I am a romantic that wants to believe that the ideal of mom, dad, and kids can all be happy.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3251 | Registered: Dec 2008
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last year, when I was acquainting my DS #2's first grade teacher with our personal circumstances, she told me that he would not be alone for very long-- that my kids would see a wave of divorces as they got older; XWH and I just got divorced on the earlier end.

I don't know if people deliberately wait unless you mean wait until the kids are graduated from high school and out of the house-- then yes, I think that some do opt to wait until that point. I don't have any statistics about the average age of people who divorce (or how old their kids typically are), but when I was a kid, I don't think I knew anyone whose parents were divorced when I was in elementary school. By the time I got to high school, I knew several, had friends from blended families, etc.

ETA: Your story about your friend is really sad, but it also illustrates how we can look at other families/marriages and think that they have it made, but we really don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I know that I romanticize other people and their relationships way too much. I'm sure that many people have been shocked to learn about my divorce as well since I'm sure that I also appeared to "have it all."

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 5:31 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3774 | Registered: Oct 2011
tabitha95
♀ 22033
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

People were shocked about mine. EX and I were at a school party together, being room parents on the last day of school, then that night I found the text to the MOW that resulted in d-day #2 and immediate separation.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3251 | Registered: Dec 2008
Bluebird26
♀ 36445
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:00 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.

It's like when you decide on buying a car and then you see that car everywhere. Or when you are trying to have a baby and everyone is pregnant. It's one of those things your brain has become programmed to notice.

Hugs though it doesn't make it any easier.


Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.


Posts: 1486 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
7yrsflushed
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.
^^^This. Once I filed I noticed all the divorced people and people currently getting divorced at work. Never noticed it before I joined the ranks.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 2014 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Topic Posts: 5

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