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Jr High hit with tons of divorces

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tabitha95 posted 9/9/2013 16:45 PM

When EX and I separated and divorced, we were one of the few sets of divorced parents.

Now that DS13 is in 8th grade, I just heard about several divorces underway.

Do parents tend to wait until their children are "older"?

I am a bit heart-broken over one of them. It looks like my friend cheated on her husband and moved out. I idolized their marriage. He is such an involved father, I was in awe of how lucky she had it. Apparently, she wasn't feeling very lucky at all.

It's so sad to me. I guess deep down, I am a romantic that wants to believe that the ideal of mom, dad, and kids can all be happy.

tryingagain74 posted 9/9/2013 17:30 PM

Last year, when I was acquainting my DS #2's first grade teacher with our personal circumstances, she told me that he would not be alone for very long-- that my kids would see a wave of divorces as they got older; XWH and I just got divorced on the earlier end.

I don't know if people deliberately wait unless you mean wait until the kids are graduated from high school and out of the house-- then yes, I think that some do opt to wait until that point. I don't have any statistics about the average age of people who divorce (or how old their kids typically are), but when I was a kid, I don't think I knew anyone whose parents were divorced when I was in elementary school. By the time I got to high school, I knew several, had friends from blended families, etc.

ETA: Your story about your friend is really sad, but it also illustrates how we can look at other families/marriages and think that they have it made, but we really don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I know that I romanticize other people and their relationships way too much. I'm sure that many people have been shocked to learn about my divorce as well since I'm sure that I also appeared to "have it all."

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 5:31 PM, September 9th (Monday)]

tabitha95 posted 9/9/2013 18:12 PM

People were shocked about mine. EX and I were at a school party together, being room parents on the last day of school, then that night I found the text to the MOW that resulted in d-day #2 and immediate separation.

Bluebird26 posted 9/10/2013 06:00 AM

I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.

It's like when you decide on buying a car and then you see that car everywhere. Or when you are trying to have a baby and everyone is pregnant. It's one of those things your brain has become programmed to notice.

Hugs though it doesn't make it any easier.

7yrsflushed posted 9/10/2013 07:47 AM

I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.
^^^This. Once I filed I noticed all the divorced people and people currently getting divorced at work. Never noticed it before I joined the ranks.

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