Now that DS13 is in 8th grade, I just heard about several divorces underway.
Do parents tend to wait until their children are "older"?
I am a bit heart-broken over one of them. It looks like my friend cheated on her husband and moved out. I idolized their marriage. He is such an involved father, I was in awe of how lucky she had it. Apparently, she wasn't feeling very lucky at all.
It's so sad to me. I guess deep down, I am a romantic that wants to believe that the ideal of mom, dad, and kids can all be happy.
I don't know if people deliberately wait unless you mean wait until the kids are graduated from high school and out of the house-- then yes, I think that some do opt to wait until that point. I don't have any statistics about the average age of people who divorce (or how old their kids typically are), but when I was a kid, I don't think I knew anyone whose parents were divorced when I was in elementary school. By the time I got to high school, I knew several, had friends from blended families, etc.
ETA: Your story about your friend is really sad, but it also illustrates how we can look at other families/marriages and think that they have it made, but we really don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I know that I romanticize other people and their relationships way too much. I'm sure that many people have been shocked to learn about my divorce as well since I'm sure that I also appeared to "have it all."
[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 5:31 PM, September 9th (Monday)]
It's like when you decide on buying a car and then you see that car everywhere. Or when you are trying to have a baby and everyone is pregnant. It's one of those things your brain has become programmed to notice.
Hugs though it doesn't make it any easier.
I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.